You know how hard it is to find a TRULY unique gift. Well, now you’ve found one. Representing some of the finest, most outrageous entertainment you’ll ever find for pocket change. You’ll receive ten (10) copies (3 copies when ordering full page format, or 2 copies of the “whole newspaper” selection). You do NOT have to supply your photo (same price either way). The backs of each article are covered in generic, unrelated text to complete the look and feel of absolute authenticity. “Pocket clippings” are printed on 36 x 36 inch pallet sheets of newsprint, then torn from the sheet to look as though they’re torn from a real newspaper—which they are! Other formats are printed life-size on individual sheets. Our articles will fool virtually anyone. You’ll keep these for years in scrapbooks and picture albums, you’ll send them to relatives, friends, co-workers, ex-friends and victims, and you’ll never again have so much fun for lunch money!
Fake/Joke Newspaper Article C-1
You Do This Kind of Thing Every Day. Right?
This is a great ice-breaker for first dates. Just leave it casually lying around your apartment. Results (almost) guaranteed.
|Fake/Joke Newspaper Article Text — Copyright © 2007 TrixiePixGraphics|
|Police tackle BASE jumper upon touchdown from Centennial Plaza stuntBASE Jumper ApprehendedPolice, Fire Units Respond |
Yourtown—- (NOTICE: Any names of towns, locations, people, institutions, etc., used in these sample fake newspaper stories, are purely fictional, chosen at random, and are not meant to portray or represent any real person, place or deed. Remember that no matter what name a writer chooses to use in any fictional story, there is a real person (or many persons) SOMEWHERE who have that exact name.)Well known local daredevil and adventurer Casey Jones got a surprise Saturday afternoon when he BASE jumped (parachuted) from the roof of a relatively small apartment building in downtown Seattle. Police were waiting for him to touch down.”I’ve BASED about 90 buildings across the country,” says an angry Jones. “I’ve been arrested about twenty times out of all those jumps. But I’ve never been beaten like I was on Saturday! That was ridiculous!”A team of “about twenty” SPD officers were alerted to Jones’s stunt, and had assembled at the most likely landing area on 4th and Vine.Witnesses reported that Jones touched down, and then immediately put his hands in the air as a token of surrender.”Then the cops just charged him like it was a football game,” said a bystander. “That guy (Jones) didn’t have a chance! He wasn’t aggressive in any way. He knew he was being arrested, and he wanted to just go with the flow. You could see that. So why did the cops beat the hell out of him like that?”Bob Charlen, a senior Detective with SPD, said that he couldn’t comment formally on the case until all the facts were in, but it appeared that Jones “had made a threatening move”, and that was the motivation for the police team to tackle him.Jones said, “It’s ironic—the jumps are always perfectly safe. It’s the landing parties that’re going to kill me.”
See DAREDEVILS, A New Breed, Page D-5
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Volume Discounts are available during checkout
Whole Size $39.95, (Whole Newspaper With Headline), 23×27 inches, 2 identical copies
Whole Size $87.50, (Whole Newspaper With Headline), 23×27 inches, 5 identical copies
Whole Size $199.00, (Whole Newspaper With Headline), 23×27 inches, 12 identical copies
Whole Size $600.00, (Whole Newspaper With Headline), 23×27 inches, 50 identical copies
Small Pocket Clippings $17.95, No headline, 6×9 inches, identical 10 copies
Small Pocket Clippings $45.00, No headline, 6×9 inches, 30 identical copies
Full Page $24.95, (half sheet), No Headline, 13×23 inches, 4 identical copies
Full Page $67.85, (half sheet), No Headline, 13×23 inches, 8 identical copies
Full Page $146.95, (half sheet), No Headline, 13×23 inches, 21 identical copies
Poster Size $49.95, With Headline, 42×75 inches, 1 copy
Poster Size $217.95, With Headline, 42×75 inches, 5 identical copies
Tabloid Size $29.95, With Headline, 13×21 inches, 4 identical copies
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Or….choose from three OTHER options:
Write your own personalized newspapers from scratch (from $17.95)
Write your own story in your own words and upload any pictures you like (or none at all).
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Create your own complete newspaper page using the page-layout software of your
choice, then upload that page to us and we’ll modify it to print as a newspaper.
Choose a pre-written bulk newspaper (cannot be modified) (from $4.95)
Many fake newspaper stories/articles are available as a pre-written selection which
cannot be modified to suit. More are added almost daily. We have a HUGE backlog
of archived and unfinished stories (many hundreds).
Whole Size is a two-sheet, eight-page WHOLE newspaper WITH HEADLINE
Poster Size is HUGE, printed on stiffer poster stock; one page WITH HEADLINE
Small Size is SMALL — roughly a 6 x 9 inch “Pocket Clipping” with NO HEADLINE
Tabloid is tabloid sized, smaller than the Enquirer; one sheet, two pages each WITH HEADLINE
Full size is one full page, NOT one full SHEET; it’s an INSIDE half-sheet page with NO HEADLINE
Fake/Joke Newspaper Article C-1
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