Question and Answer Archives
Set #1 (10-17-2007 to 6-13-2008)
Reads chronologically from bottom to top
| Date: 6.13.2008 Author: mindy i just wanted to know if i wanted to order an ultrasound, can i tell you how far along i’d like it to be, or do you only have one that you send out? if you only have one, how far along is pregnancy in the ultrasound? thanks REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We haven’t tried to categorize these according to term or stage. So much depends on the angle and resolution of the ultrasound machine. We may someday set up a panel of ultrasounds showing definate different stages. What you see (and what you choose) from the product page is what you get. There are many variations shown on that page. Date: 6.13.2008 Author: ly i wanted to order an oversized check. but i tried MANY times and it says that the sercurity code does not match. What is wrong with it??? i been trying for days now. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Please don’t suffer through something like this for days. While 99% of the questions that are posted here are silly, this isn’t one of them. Please tell us exactly which check you are trying to order and we’ll go to that page and beat the form into submission. We’re assuming you’ve closed and restarted your browser and/or computer during these several days. Almost always that will cure the problem. But please tell us the product number so we can go make sure the form is working properly. |
| Date: 6.13.2008 Author: jay i just moved and i didnt change most of my mail to my new address. i want to order something my credit card is still registered at my old address. do i call the credit card company and have them change my address to the new one. i”ve already bought things from u before will that matter. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: It takes about 45 seconds to change your address with your credit card issuer, and you’ll have to do that anyway now that you’ve moved. Orders using an invalid shipping address are cancelled. We’ve been screwed far, far too many times. |
| Date: 6.13.2008 Author: V I placed one order and received six emails. How do I make sure I am not charged more then once? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Each time you submit a personalization form you receive an email showing what you submitted. For some reason you submitted five different frms for this order. You only actually placed one order, and you only received one order confirmation email. Of course you can always check your bank account. |
| Date: 6.10.2008 Author: Carl Hello, I’m with Tangent Corporation and our gift wrap is featured on your website. I am interested in ordering more and would like to know what needs to done to make that happen. Thanks REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: As we recall that was a special order with 100% coverage (as opposed to individual images with white space between them). Unfortunately we charge double for all full coverage rolls. We wish we didn’t have to. To order, just order normally (sending your image in the space provided on the form). In the optional text phrase box on the form, mention that the order is to be full coverage. The shopping cart will charge you the regular price, and we will add the extra charge manually after we receive the order. Thanks. |
| Date: 6.10.2008 Author: Just WOndering I was wondering if my package has been sent it has been 5 days REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Please refer to the tracking number that was sent to you at the moment your order was shipped. |
| Date: 6.10.2008 Author: Mike Just a few questions about Tabloid size, headline formats. The order form is a little unclear about what’s applicable for the Tabloid format: 1) Can I create my own name for the tabloid (like naming the newspaper)? 2) Can I add my own date to the tabloid? 3) Is the “filler” text forthe tabloid other random articles (like newspaper articles) or something else (ads, classifieds, other)? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Everything that applies to the regular “whole” size also applies to the tabloid size. The only exception “could” be that we should limit the number of characters in the tabloid size to something less than what’s allowed in the whole size. Since that hasn’t been too much of a problem, it’s been a wheel that hasn’t squeaked quite loudly enough to get greased. But everything else is exactly the same as for the whole size — which is why there are no special instructions for the tabloid size. |
| Date: 6.9.2008 Author: Taylor I use to order gift wrap from an on-line store called ————-.com. They no longer sell the paper but I still have a little left. I cannot find it anywhere. If I scan a photo of it, are there going to be any issues with copyright? Also, content of the design could be offensive. Will this be an issue? Thank you. Your time is very much appreciated! Taylor REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Yes, we’re familiar with the company you mention, unfortunately. Personalized and customized gift wrap paper is OUR original product. We were the first in the world to offer it by many years. At last count there were 49 companies who had blatantly, shamelessly copied our product, almost all of whom do this badly, many of whom won’t even allow the customer to upload an image because their old hand-cranked presses cannot duplicate an image but can only roll a one-color text string over the paper they bought at Walmart. It’s ludicrous. Yet we often discover these companies trying to bad-mouth us in the forums because, after all, we are their only real competition, and the mentality that steals product ideas is also a mentality prone to lying as a morally-acceptable means of trying to slow that competition. Basically what we do here is originate brand new innovative, imaginative products, so the bottom-feeders of the world will have something to leech and steal. We are truly sick of it, and we find ourselves looking more and more closely at some of these companies for ways to file suit against them. Two different newspaper companies in the UK, for instance, have stolen our text word for word. They WILL be sued. This is a sore topic with us. We’re angry, and we’re looking to strike back. We’re now extra-vigilant for any and all opportunities. In any case, no, we don’t care what your content is, as long as it’s not kiddie porn. Adult porn? No problem. Political rudeness? Hell, we INVENTED political rudeness. Re any copyright issues, we cannot reproduce copyrighted text or images unless the customer specifies to us that they have permission to reproduce said material. If you suppled the image to that outfit, then it’s YOUR image. How can we identify a copyrighted image from one that’s not? We use the same criteria that Kinkos uses — if it has a copyright notice on it, we will not reproduce it unless the customer or client certifies to us (in writing) that they have permission to reproduce the material. We try and try and TRY to warn people about doing business with the copycats — some listen, some don’t. In the vast majority of cases these copycats have not thought the product through, don’t know how to correctly make it, and aren’t imaginative enough to figure it out (that’s why they didn’t come up with the product themselves, but only stole the idea from someone else — because they have little or no imagination). People get bad, sometimes criminally deplorable products from the copycats, and the copycats are here today, gone tomorrow, which leaves the customer in the lurch — just like you are now. This really, truly ticks us off. Free enterprise can be a great thing, and often it is. But nearly as often it serves to screw the customer, and screw the business who develops, originates and puts out a great product, only to have their revenues minimized by the scammers and rip-offs of the world. End rant. Answer: Yes, we can make your gift wrap. Just scan the image at 150 or 300 dpi and submit it with your personalization form. |
| Date: 6.4.2008 Author: Lakema Nalory I just noticed that my phone number was wrong on my invoice not my test is this a problem? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We’re not really sure what you’re referring to, as we make no “test” that requires a phone number. In any case, you can put whatever phone number you want on anything, and it has no effect on us. The only piece of data we’re concerned with is your billing address. If it’s correct, the order will go through. If it’s not, the order will be cancelled. (We just checked and your address is fine). |
| Date: 6.3.2008 Author: Darrell Hay Hi, My order number is 54346840. If you remember, I ordered two fake newspapers and I had only received one. You then said that you would send the second one, but there might have been problems with my home address. I think it has been more than ten days since the second one was shipped and I have not recieved it yet at my house. If there are still problems with that address, I can provide another. Thanks, Darrell REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Here is the data from USPS. You may also access this data by going to the USPS (not UPS) website and entering the tracking number that was sent to you by USPS; if the item is returned to us you may use our “re-ship” option to have it shipped again: Label/Receipt Number: 2103 8555 7490 7889 9989 Status: Notice Left We attempted to deliver your item at 3:10 PM on May 21, 2008 in OXON HILL, MD 20745 and a notice was left. It can be redelivered or picked up at the Post Office. If the item is unclaimed, it will be returned to the sender. Information, if available, is updated every evening. Please check again later. |
| Date: 6.1.2008 Author: Hayley Hiya i have done a bank transfer via western union for my purchase all the need u to do is except the payment if i give you the code can u except it so i can recieve my item? Thanks REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We know nothing about Western Union specifically. Our bank is set up to accept incoming wire transfers from any source that is willing to submit them; that virtually always means another bank. That may or may not include Western Union. As for us “accepting a code” so the transfer can go through, no. Our system is what it is. When an incoming wire transfer arrives and is verified, we’re notified by fax, and at that moment we ship the product. We receive wire transfers every day, and the procedure is what it is. We are not willing to start trying to accomodate non-standard methods of payment on a case by case basis. A great deal of research was involved in setting up the system we use for International orders, making sure it was smooth, reliable, and left no openings for the growing number of shysters in the world. We will not alter that procedure “on the fly”. If your financial institution, whoever it may be, whether a regular bank or Western Union or whomsoever, can effect a straightforward wire transfer into our bank, then your order will go through and be processed and shipped normally. If your sender tries anything out of the ordinary, it will be ignored and your order will not go through. Again, we receive these every day. They need not be complicated or tricky or problematic. They are virtually always smooth and painless and require NO back and forth interaction between buyer and seller. Please do NOT send us any kind of “code” or password or anything else. If your payment arrives into our account via the normal stream, your order will be shipped. If something non-standard takes place, it will be ignored and/or cancelled. As of 6-1-08, no transfers have arrived from you. |
| Date: 5.31.2008 Author: Alex Meyer I know you’re busy, but I wanted to compliment you on your “UPS Sucks” website. I suffered the results of UPS incopmpetence as far back as 2005, and most recently in 2008. They still stink and I don’t understand how such an atrocious company remains in business. Thanks! Alex Meyer REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: You mean the UPS SUCKS website at this url? http://www.truth-or-consequences.com/badder_business_bureau/UPS/ups_sucks.htm You’re welcome. Few companies have ever made us so apoplectic. Truly the scum of the earth. |
| Date: 5.30.2008 Author: Mike weiner I wanted to express my thanks for an excellent job on my order and for going the extra mile to insure that the photo was included. Until next time, Ken Weiner REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Thanks Ken, we needed that today! We’ll take all the Brownie Points we can get. |
| Date: 5.30.2008 Author: Nancy Simonson I LOVE the crossword puzzle but you left out 1 clue. Zero,Times Lee has popped the hood ofhis car REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: The file sizes on the crossword printouts are gigantic, so we don’t save them (we’ll start now, however). -The point being that we have no way to go back and look at the puzzle to see what happened to that one clue. Our crossword maker program doesn’t like multiple instances of the same word, so it may have been some kind of glitch there. It could have also happened when you added three additional word/clue sets using the same word after the order was placed and was being processed. Normally the process of making these is completely automatic (except for the layout), meaning that there is no re-typing from one place to another, which eliminates errors. In this case there were several things which caused glitches in the processing, such as digits which had to be converted to spelled-out numbers, etc., so there were multiple opportunities for errors. If you will kindly return the errant puzzle to our shipping center (address is on the tube), we’ll make a new one. We apologize profusely and profoundly. We strive for 100% perfection. |
| Date: 5.30.2008 Author: Aracelis Hi there, I made an order with you guys three weeks ago, and I have yet to recive it. Can you guys please tell me when I can expect to recive what I ordered Thank you! REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Yes, you did place an order three weeks ago. Unfortunately it was cancelled because the address you supplied was bogus. You were notified of that by us, and you were notified of that by our credit card processer. You were also refunded, and you were notified of that as well. Here’s the printout on your refund: Transaction ID: 1834170353 Transaction Status: Refund Settlement Information Settlement Amount: USD (26.50) Settlement Date and Time: 10-May-2008 22:18:52 Business Day: 10-May-2008 Batch ID: 74901836 Authorization Information Authorization Amount: USD (26.50) Submit Date /Time: 09-May-2008 23:04:56 Authorization Code: Reference Transaction ID: 1833302639 Transaction Type: Refund Address Verification Status: AVS Not Applicable (P) Card Code Status: Not Applicable CAVV Result Code: Not Applicable Fraud Score Applied: Not Applicable Recurring Billing Transaction: N Dynamic Currency Conversion: Not Applicable Partial Capture Status: Not Applicable Customer IP: Payment Information Card Type: Visa Card Number: XXXX00XX Expiration Date: XXXX Total Amount: USD (26.50) Order Information Invoice #: 55043680 Description: Order cancelled; address entered by customer doesn’t match card issuer records. Customer Billing Information Name: Aracelis Depena Company: Address: 9-15 Adrian Avenue apt 5D City: Riverdale State/Province: NY Zip Code: 10463 Country: United States Phone: 9173024733 Fax: Email: Ari1297@hotmail.com Customer ID: Customer Type: Customer TaxID/SSN: DL Number: DL State: DL DOB: Shipping Information Name: Aracelis Depena Company: Address: 9-15 Adrian Avenue apt 5D City: Riverdale State/Province: NY Zip Code: 10463 Country: United States Additional Details – Level 2 Data Tax: 0.00 Freight: 0.00 Duty: 0.00 Tax Exempt: N PO Number: |
| Date: 5.23.2008 Author: jerry Mirman Hi I need to order 3 full size papers in old news print from 1920’s era for a play. I just need my own head lines but do not need any spec. type of custom artical just filler. Did not know how to fill out the form to reflect this so that i did not get any modern pictures or any prewritten stuff angain just filler. Help please would like to order today. Thanks Jerry REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: The form should be completed as for any other order — that is to say that you should provide your own filler (just copy-paste some generic filler from the Internet or whatever). Whatever the customer supplies is what prints. Supply nothing, nothing prints. We automatically use the era-specific template that is closest to the date of the newspaper (era-specific pictures (if any), etc.). The “old and yellow” option is presented during checkout. Thanks. |
| Date: 5.22.2008 Author: Carla Hi i recently ordered a ultrasound and it did have all the information on the right side of it as shown on the example. How come??? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: So often we have to try to figure out what people MEANT, as opposed to what they SAY. You say that your ultrasound had all of the information on the right side of it, then you ask how come. Well, what are we supposed to say here? Would you like to re-phrase your question? |
| Date: 5.22.2008 Author: ken weiner Trixiepixels, Thanks for the timely reply. Yup, MSIE can cause one to recoomend that Bush replace Ballmer, but alas the problemo is that I can’t seem to upload the photo (4×6) not with transmitting the form or my innate impatience. Using Adobe Photshop 3.2. The photo is in a jpg file 0313. I didn’t see the list of extensions below referenced in your reply. The issue is my inability owing to my lack of computer-ese to upload the photo; can’t get it into your form. Thanks in advance for the extra effort – eternal peace and happiness will be yours (plus $11) when this is accomplished. Ken REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Here are the accepted file extensions: doc,zip,rar,gif,act,art,bmp,blp,cit,cpt,cut,dib,egt,exif,gif,ico,iff,jng,jpeg,jpg ,jp2,lbm,max,miff,mng,msp,nitf,pbm,pc1,pc2,pc3,pcf,pcx,pdn,pgm,pict,png,pnm,ppm,p sb,psd,pdd,psp,px,pxr,qfx,raw,rle,sct,sgi,rgb,int,bw,tga,tiff,tif,xbm,xcf,xpm,awg ,ai,eps,cgm,cdr,cmx,dxf,egt,svg,stl,wmf,emf,c4d,lwo,lws,ma,mb,pov,pps,ppt,avi,mpe g,mpg,mp4,fli,flr,swf,mng,mov,divx,xvid We’re still not exactly sure what trouble you’re having. Are you saying that you are unable to point to the file you want to send with the form? On the form, in the file upload fields, there’s a button called “BROWSE”. Click it. That will open up an explorer-type window. Scrabble around until you find the image file that you want to send. You are actually looking on your own hard drive at this point, so wherever you’ve saved that file is where you’ll find it. Click on it (or double click on it) when you find it; that will attach it to the form. Now submit the form. If we’re misunderstanding the problem please let us know. As long as it’s a jpg, it doesn’t matter what program, or what version of any program, created it. The form only knows about file extensions; it knows nothing about what program created any given file. As long as it’s a jpg, or any of the allowed extensions, the form will attach it and send it using the BROWSE function in the form. We know it’s working correctly as we continue to receive submissions to which jpg files are attached. Yes, the God of Camels sometimes smiles upon us; may he smile upon your tent as well. PS: Your file must be named “something.jpg”. It’s not named “something.1313” or something like that, correct? |
| Date: 5.22.2008 Author: Tanya Okay thats fine! But its going to look like the one on the website…. I thought you had different one’s as you stated to me REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: This exactly, precisely why we communicate ONLY through this public forum, and never, ever by phone. No, we did NOT state to you that we had alternate versions of the fake DNA test. We have never stated that, probably because we have never had any such thing, never thought of having any such thing, and never plan to have any such thing. We’ll sometimes humor communications that make little sense, but when people start saying we told them things that we most definately did not, we cut our losses and move on. You’ve been blocked from order here. |
| Date: 5.21.2008 Author: ken weiner Great concept and website and even better left-handed sense of humor. I have labored diligently and long to upload/download a photo to be used in a self -designed full page product ($39.93) but to no avail. The photo is on an Adobe Photoshop 3.2 edition (img0313.jpg) Please advise how I can transmit the photo and simultaneously enrich you by 40 bucks? Everything else is ready to go. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We’d love to be enriched by $11! ($11 net). Below is a list of extensions the form will accept. If your file’s extension is included in this list, there are two other things that may botch an upload: (1) file size too large; the form will process files up to 10 megs, even though the file size for a fake newspaper article need not exceed, say, 200k. The larger the file, the longer it takes for the form to process and upload it; durations on a dial-up connection, or even a slow DSL, can be ridiculous. Sometimes customers aren’t willing to wait. (2) A corrupted browser cache. MSIE is famous for this, though all browsers can suffer from it. Each browser has its own instructions for clearing its cache. But shutting down the browser and restarting, or even rebooting the computer, will often cure it. If not, clear the cache. If none of these work, we’ve found it’s often helpful to obtain a largish hammer (Home Depot, $14.99), and use it upon the offending machine in an agressive and straightforward manner. Alternatively, said instrument may be used upon the soft, protruding forehead of the MICROSOFT (or other) PROGRAMMER RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS ABOMINATION CALLED WINDOWS (or other). If NONE of this helps, please tell us EXACTLY what happens when you try to submit the form. Does it just sit there? If yes, have you waited long enough, given the file size and connection? |
| Date: 5.21.2008 Author: Tanya okay i need it too look different from the one on the website and would happen if he wants to call and confirm because honestly i dont wanna break up an happy family and what if i want to send it the way i wanted to be is that possible REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Sorry, there’s no possible way we could develop a whole new product for just one customer. |
| Date: 5.20.2008 Author: BJ Just received our newspapers and they’re FANTASTIC. The problem is that we need 15 more of them. You’ve already stated that your software doesn’t yet address quantity discounts, so we’ve been trying – without success – to find a printer that will reproduce your product full-size two-sided. Buying 15 of these thingsat full-price for our production of “Crimes of the Heart” is going to break our bank. Can you please, please, please quote us a price on a re-order of the paper we just bought? Please? Did I say “Please?” Yes, I did. Please. (Feel free to call, email or whatever. Please.) REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We actually did set up volume discounts a while back. Please see the product pages for rates. Here’s the breakdown, but if you remind us at the time you order 12, we’ll make it 15 for the same price: Whole Size $39.95, (Whole Newspaper With Headline), 23×27 inches, 2 copies Whole Size $87.50, (Whole Newspaper With Headline), 23×27 inches, 5 copies Whole Size $199.00, (Whole Newspaper With Headline), 23×27 inches, 12 copies Whole Size $600.00, (Whole Newspaper With Headline), 23×27 inches, 50 copies Small Pocket Clippings $17.95, No headline, 6×9 inches, 10 copies Small Pocket Clippings $62.90, No headline, 6×9 inches, 30 copies Full Page $24.95, (half sheet), No Headline, 13×23 inches, 3 copies Full Page $67.85, (half sheet), No Headline, 13×23 inches, 9 copies Full Page $146.95, (half sheet), No Headline, 13×23 inches, 21 copies Poster Size $49.95, With Headline, 42×75 inches, 1 copy Poster Size $217.95, With Headline, 42×75 inches, 5 copies Tabloid Size $24.95, With Headline, 13×21 inches, 3 copies |
| Date: 5.20.2008 Author: Tanya I need help I dont want to break up an happy home at all. I need to get a fake DNA test that looks real honestly. I would pay a certain amount too. Can you help me out! REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Our fake DNA tests are at the following link; they look as real as the real ones (more real than some of the real ones, actually): http://www.trixiepixgraphics.com/fake_medical_tests/fake_DNA_tests.html |
| Date: 5.18.2008 Author: Doug Higley I just ordered a custom written POSTER size. Is it possible to ALSO get a Newspaper Size Page of the exact same thing?? Or must I resubmit? By the way your discalimer is hilarious. I sympathize! Doug REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: During the initial order the procedure would have been to select all the sizes you wanted on the personalization form, then, drop an order for each size into the shopping cart. At this point, however, it will require another order. |
| Date: 5.17.2008 Author: Darrell Hay Hi, No Problem, thanks for the service you provide. Please ship! Thanks! |
| Date: 5.16.2008 Author: Darrell Hay Hi, I ordered two differnt fake newpaper articles and so far I have received only one of them. Its been more than 10 days. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: AAAARRRRGGGG!!!! We’ve looked up your order and you’re right. It appears this was completely our fault. We TRULY hate it when this happens. At least one small-brained head will roll. We apologize profusely. We can print your second set tonight and ship it on Saturday, or we can refund. Which would you prefer? Sorry! |
| Date: 5.15.2008 Author: tony What are the patient ID number, physician ID number, and account number on the fake pregnancy papers? Someone is using it seriously and I have to verify that it is a fake. Also the specimen number please. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: They are just computer-generated random numbers. To verify if something is real or not, it is a simple matter to communicate with the lab that supposedly created the document. If said lab doesn’t exist, it’s a fairly sure bet the document is bogus. If someone is using our product in a fraudulent way we’d love to help you nail them. But please understand we cannot divulge any information about any customer’s order without a subpoena. Again, if someone is using this fraudulently, please get a subpoena to us and we’ll bend over backward to supply you with all the documentation we have, right down to the IP address of the computer from which the order was placed, and if you get a conviction or a civil judgement we will ask that you supply us with the court records so we can post the entire fiasco on the product page itself. Nothing can move forward without a subpoena, however. Nothing at all. |
| Date: 5.15.2008 Author: CANDICE DOES THE ULTRASOUNDS LOOK LIKE THE REAL DEAL AND NOT WITH THE FAKE COPYRIGHT 2008 REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: It goes without saying that the Copyright notice across the middle of the ultrasound plate does not print on the customer’s copy |
| Date: 5.15.2008 Author: BJ I just placed an order and I would like for it to be ALL BLACK AND WHITE. If this is possible, please do so. Also, what would the cost be to have a total of 15 of these full-size newspapers printed? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Given the date of the newspaper it will automatically print in black and white (anything pre-1980). Re multiple copies, we had curtailed the volume discount a few years ago, but due to popular demand we’re going to have to bring it back. We had hoped to be able to incorporate that option into the shopping cart by today, but the tax rebate thing has caused us to be absolutely swamped. We’ll write the script for volume orders into the cart just as soon as we can find a free hour. We’ll try very hard to get it done by Saturday night. |
| Date: 5.15.2008 Author: Marc Ludena Hi, I need a prop newspaper for a play…what is your turnaround time if I do my own design? Also, i’m unclear on the format. All I need is the outside wrap (so…4 pages), but I need mutiple copies. What would be my best choice to order? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Turn-around is the same whether its your design or our modified template (36 hours for “regular” and 24 hours for RUSH)(choose during checkout). Same price as well. Re the format, there are links on all of the newspaper pages and on the home page to view the dimensions of each size. You should create your page in the layout program of your choice, then export it as a jpg at 100% quality. DPI should be no less than 150 at print size. You should upload your file(s) through the regular personalization form on the “write your own from scratch” page. If you have trouble sending the form due to size of the attachments, let us know. The inside, or “filler” sheet cannot be altered — they’re printed months in advance. The outside sheet has, of course, two sides as well. One side features the headline page and the back page, and the other side features two inside pages. The two inside pages cannot be altered (printed way in advance). The headline page and the back page, both on the same side of the sheet, can be replaced with your images. Please keep both page files seperate, as we do a bit of re-sizing and tweaking, and add some things, and it’s best that we can work with different files for each page. Also, the most common problem we see when customers submit their own page, is that some of their ads or images will have high contrast, while others will have low contrast. Some will be generally light, and others will be generally dark. This makes the page look terrible. Please try to make all images, text-blocks, ads, whatever, look uniformly light, or dark, with the same degrees of contrast. As far as only needing the outside wrap sheet, we don’t have special pricing set up for just one sheet, sans the filler sheet. It would only be a few bucks difference in any case. So you will automatically get the inside sheet (4 pages on it, and 4 pages on the outside sheet, obviously). Re volume discounts, please see the entry just above this one. Thanks. |
| Date: 5.15.2008 Author: Hayley Hiya I placed an order on the 5th May and did my wire transfer the same day but it still hasnt gone through yet the bank says it is still pending so should i submit another order form or will my old one still be ok. Thanks Hayley x REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We haven’t recieved yours yet under the name of Copp. Sometimes they come through in a matter of hours, and sometimes it could be ten days. We suggest doing nothing unless you’re notified that it failed for some reason. Give it a good ten BUSINESS days first. We hate wire transfers, but we’re stuck with them until the financial institutions get smart and start offering tools to protect internet businesses. |
| Date: 5.14.2008 Author: Colleen Hi- I’m having trouble with the Verify Authentification code copying correctly, and yeah, i’m probably being slow what to do? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We see this occasionally, especially with MS Explorer, but it can happen with other browsers as well. It’s usually related to a corruption in the browser’s cache. Each browser has its own instructions for clearing its cache. You can also try shutting down and restarting the browser, or even doing a complete reboot of the computer. While you’re messing with your browser, please tell us exactly which form you’re using and we’ll go kick its around a little to make sure the form itself isn’t the problem. And always remember, computers suck. |
| Date: 5.14.2008 Author: Zona Demmery A wire transfer was ordered yesterday from my bank, The Bank of Montreal, Canada. The amount was USD69.99 to cover cost of international order. Unfortunately instead of entering the name of sender as Zona Demmery the sender was shown as Mr Robert Demmery SR. The correspondent Bank is Wachovia Bank N.A. code 1000106. Hopefully you can with this information match this payment to the order submitted. We are trying to have the bank change the sending information, however this message is being sent in case the bank is unable to do so. This is for a birthday surprise for my wife’s father on his 80th birthday your assistance in solving this error would be greatly appreciated. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Way ahead of you. Thanks. |
| Date: 5.13.2008 Author: nina petrie can i purchase an item through here with an all access gift card? It would be the same as a debit card. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: It certainly can’t hurt anything to try. We believe the system will take it, but there’s only one way to know for sure. Try it! |
| Date: 5.13.2008 Author: Nate Foll For the main photo on the newspapers, what requirements do you have in terms of size, dimensions, quality, etc. Thanks! REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We’d “like” to see 4×6 inches, landscape mode, but we receive that probably only in one of every 200 orders, so…..it doesn’t really matter. We automatically handle whatever comes along. If an image is too crisp and clear we sometimes add a bit of noise to it to make it more “newspapery”. File size (.jpg) need not be more than, say, 200k, but the form will handle 10 megs. |
| Date: 5.12.2008 Author: kevin i click submit and nothing happens……………..HELP REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We see this occasionally, especially with MS Explorer, but it can happen with other browsers as well. It’s usually related to a corruption in the browser’s cache. Each browser has its own instructions for clearing its cache. You can also try shutting down and restarting the browser, or even doing a complete reboot of the computer. Also, if you are trying to send a large file attachment, and/or are using a dial-up type connection, the form will take anywhere from a few seconds to several minutes to process your attachment. Some browsers have a progress bar at the bottom to show the progress of such processes; some don’t. If your attachment is over, say, 200k (the largest any image attachment needs to be), then the time required for the form to process and send it increases. While you’re messing with your browser, please tell us exactly which form you’re using and we’ll go kick its around a little to make sure the form itself isn’t the problem. And always remember, computers suck. |
| Date: 5.12.2008 Author: joyce Lozano I would like a full page however, I need 10 copies and your price quote is for 2 copies @39.95. What would the price be for 8 additional copies? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We actually curtailed the volume discounts a couple of years ago. It was our way of dealing with rising operating costs, without actually raising prices. However, we have been swamped with requests for volume discounts over the past few weeks, so we’re going to re-institute a discount for more than a few copies. It will show up on the product page (and the customer will choose the quantity during the checkout process). Please give us a day or two (or five) to work up the script for this. We don’t know yet how much the discount will be, or at what point it will kick in — we’ll be sharpening our pencils today to see what we can offer. |
| Date: 5.12.2008 Author: Zona Demmery I need to wire transfer you payment for an International Order. My bank requires the local address of the recipient in order to effect the transfer. Please advise as quickly as possible in order I can transfer the funds REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: No bank has ever required this. It is NOT necessary for a wire transfer. We receive them every day. However, we’re sending you the address of our shipping center by private email. |
| Date: 5.11.2008 Author: Paul Hello, I’m looking to have to have the small newspaper article printed (the 10 for $16.95). I’m curious, if I plan to order more than 10, can I have any denominations other than 10 printed, for instance, can I order 15? Also, is it a flat rate per 10 that I order, even if the article is the same? For instance, if I order 20 of the same article is it simply $16.95 x 2? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: This is a $16 item, on which we actually lose about a buck and a half. We continue to offer it at this price because it’s not really worth more than this, and because it’s simply an item that a fake newspaper company must offer. It’s rather like the corner store that used to sell penny candy. By the time they stocked the candy and processed it at the register and fooled around with it in every other way, they actually lost money on the product. They continued to offer it for a penny, however, because that’s all it was worth, and small corner stores simply had to offer it, or customers would go somewhere else for their larger purchases. Same thing here. We’re not interested in fooling around with this product in such a way that we lose even more money on it. We offer what we offer. We couldn’t even begin to think about setting up a different story for each sheet in the 10-count order, nor are we interested in trying to come up with a price that involves counting pennies for a 15-count instead of a 10 or 20-count, and then creating a buy-button and a script to handle that non-standard price. Sorry. |
| Date: 5.9.2008 Author: Hayley Hiya Thanks for replying so quickly. I have submitted a new form with my full adress on now you have upped the number of characters. I think i have prob submitted a few forms whilst i was trying to buy online yesterday, sorry. I will be going to the bank shortly to do the wire transfer as it wont allow it online. Also your return address is fine – i was just worried it would have the product name written on it. Thanks Again Hayley x |
| Date: 5.8.2008 Author: Katy To Whom It May Concern: I ordered two products April, 24 2008 and still today I didn’t received. I know they are in San Bernardino, this is what my trucking is telling me. I really need an help on this matter. I know sometime UPS is slow but it has been more than 10 days that I am waiting. A prompt response will ne appreciated. Best regards, Katy REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: This is definately longer than it should take (and by the way, this is USPS, not UPS). But the tracking shows that it has left San Bernadino and should be on the delivery truck for you. We would guess that if you didn’t receive it today, you should have it on Friday. Once a package has left our shipper there is absolutely nothing we can do to influence its delivery one way or another. We can’t stop it; we can’t hurry it up; we can’t change its course. We have ZERO control after we give it to the carrier. We wish we did. |
| Date: 5.8.2008 Author: Hayley Hi, Sorry lots of questions which are probably me being stupid! I would like to order the fake dna paternity test but i would like to check it i shipped in plain packaging, also i live in England and the shipping adress only allows 50 characters which isnt enough to put my full address. Last thing i submitted the data info but it didnt go to a payment page. Do i just do a bank transfer? Can you give me the right details and price in gbp please? Your help would be appreciated. Thanks x x x x x x REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Our shopping cart no longer handles International orders. The fraud was just too much to deal with. International customers may order via wire transfer only. The procedure is to complete the International form, then print the next page that comes up. That’s as far as you can go online. You need to take that form to your bank and ask them to initiate a wire transfer; they’ll take it from there. As soon as your funds arrive in our account we will process the form you completed and ship your product. Regarding conversaion rates, there are countless websites that will do a conversion from any currency for you. Yes, all items are shipped in plain packages, though the return address will show as TrixiePixGraphics.com. If you need the return address altered to something more mundane, just email us and let us know. The actual street address must remain the same but the company name can be changed to anything. We often use something like “Grand’s Fine Candies” (etc.) when a customer needs this. Re the number of characters allowed in the form, we’ll bump it up. |
| Date: 5.8.2008 Author: Chay Willette I just received a message from you saying that Cust. refused to supply data to complete order. $10 cancellation fee. Customer not allowed to order again. I did not receive any notice regarding any request for data. I would have gladly supplied any data you needed for my order. Can you please help? Thank you so much. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: This is what transpired; our first email to you (below) explains the problem: “Info needed, first request: We’ve set up your giant check template and are ready to proceed with processing. However, it appears you’ve ordered the wrong product. The product you ordered is located at the following link. Please note the large red print at the top of that page: http://www.trixiepixgraphics.com/giant_checks/FCH-1_giant_checks.html. We believe you meant to order the check at the FOLLOWING link. That check allows you to enter fields such as the date of the check, what it’s for, etc. etc. Please go to this link and complete the form. After you’ve submitted the form please do NOT continue on through the payment process again. You’ve already paid for your order. We only need the completed form. http://www.trixiepixgraphics.com/giant_checks/FCH-8_giant_checks.html. Thank you.” When we received no reply to that we sent it again a day or two later. When we still received no reply we sent it AGAIN, a day or two after that. When we STILL received no reply we cancelled the order, refunded all but $10 per our standard order cancellation fee, cancelled the shipping label we’d created and requested a refund from USPS for the shipping, and we deleted out your file. All of this required more time and work than just filling the order would have required. If you wish to place the order again, you may do so, starting from scratch. Please read the large, bold, red print near the top of each Giant Checks page. For instance, the page you ordered from has this warning near the top of the page in large, bold, red print: “CAUTION: This item requires that you supply your own complete image of a check. If you’d rather just fill in the blanks on one of our pre-made checks, please click HERE to go back to the giant checks main menu.” Since you did not supply an image of a check, but just your logo image, we believe you meant to order the check located at this url: http://www.trixiepixgraphics.com/giant_checks/FCH-8_giant_checks.html |
| Date: 5.7.2008 Author: Miguel de jesus I would like to order 5 sets (total 10) of full size newspaper, identical headlines. I need 5 copies and 5 spares, to be used in a production of Stephen Sondheim ASSASSINS. Is there a price break for multiples of identical copies? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Please see the entry directly below this. |
| Date: 5.6.2008 Author: Lisa We are a local community theatre group, It’s Only Tuesday Productions (www.itsonlytuesday.com) and will be performing Chicago the Musical the first weekend in June, 2008 (with not a very large budget). We need (4) copies of a Chicago newspaper (don’t care what name as long as Chicago is in the title and it’s “clean”) with the large headline “Roxie Rocks Chicago”. Date needs to be in the 1920’s and not concerned with all other text. What would the price be for 4 copies of the same print?. Front / Back page only would be fine as we can stick our local paper inside to fill. Thank you! REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We begin volume negotiations at 25 copies and above. Thanks. |
| Date: 5.1.2008 Author: lakita i’m trying to get an ultrasound that shows that i’m 18 weeks pregnant with a 80% chance of baby’s sex being a female. which ultrasound should i choose. Is it possible for me to have a miscarriage at 19 weeks with this kind of ultrasound. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Sorry, this is not a question we could even remotely begin to answer. UPDATE: USPS has rejected your address as invalid. Please provide an address that USPS will accept. Thank you. UPDATE: Second Request: USPS has rejected your address as invalid. Please provide an address that USPS will accept. Thank you. REPLY from customer: my mailing address is 315 koger circle apt #2 , Lake City , S.C. , 29560 how long will it be before i receive my pkg.? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: You’ve given us the exact same address that you gave us for the original order. We asked you for an address that is valid for USPS. USPS rejects the address you’ve supplied and will not allow us to create a shipping label for that address. At this time we are cancelling your order. We suggest that you talk directly with your local post office to find out why they will not allow the address you supplied. You’ll see a credit on your card in about 3-10 days. You may order again once you’ve fixed the address problem, but ONLY if you can supply an address that USPS will accept. REPLY from Customer: you can ship to this address 330 Elm Street , Lake City, S.C. 29560 REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: The order has already been cancelled and you’ve already been refunded. You may order again, but if you do, the address you enter into our cart must: (1) Exactly match the address on your credit card, and (2) Must be accepted by USPS. If the new address you just now gave us doesn’t match the address for your card, that order would be cancelled as well. Again, we suggest that you check with your post office to find out why they reject your original address. Once that is resolved, you will need to correct the address with your card-issuer. Once that is done, you’ll be able to order online without any glitches. REPLY from Customer: the second address was not the exact same as the first one . the first address contained an r in kroger and the second one didn’t did you check the address without the r . I understand that i’ve been refunded but it says it can take up to 10 business days for refund. I really need the ultra sound pix within the next week can you recharge my card or reverse the refund and use the new address i provided REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We’ve attached a small jpg that is a screen-print of the error usps issues when we try to make a label for the second address you gave us (incorrect zipcode). At this point we have invested more time in this than we could possibly recover by selling you this product. It really is required that customers who order online know where they live. We are blocking you from ordering and from communicating with us again. We simply can’t afford to waste any more time on something that every other customer can figure out. |
| Date: 5.1.2008 Author: BillSy Regarding your Custom Gift Wrap Product: If the paper gets wet will the ink run or be prone to smear? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: YES! If you use this product underwater, in the rain, in the shower, under a waterfall, while waterskiing, in the sauna, while running through the sprinkler or fighting a fire…….the paper will disintegrate and the ink will run. We could print this through another printer that uses waterproof inks at a higher cost, but even so-called “waterproof” inks will break down and run if gotten wet enough. But even if the ink didn’t run, the paper would fall apart. So, no, we don’t offer waterproof custom gift-wrap. If we could see even the remotest, slightest need for it, we would. With even reasonable care this paper will perform just fine. But it is NOT, and never will be, “dishwasher safe”. |
| Date: 4.30.2008 Author: krystal I saw where you have a “pet death certificate”, and I was wondering if you also would make “people death certificates? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We’ve thought about that over the years, but we can’t come up with a scenario in which it could be used for any humorous or legitimate purpose. If we could see a purpose for it beyond some kind of fraud, we’d probably go ahead and offer them. Ideas? |
| Date: 4.27.2008 Author: Elliot Diviney Hi, I’m trying to submit a full-sized, 300 dpi jpg image for a full page print, but I’m getting a server error through my web browser. The file is 9.6 MB in size. Can I simply email it to you? Thank you. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: The form is “supposed” to take up to 10 megs, but 9.8 is so close it might be interpreting the size differently. Please, just reply and email it. Sorry for the trouble. If you still have trouble we’ll turn on our public ftp server. |
| Date: 4.26.2008 Author: larissa Roux Hi there, I just tried placing an order, but my shipping address is different from my billing address, although both are in the US, and your form doesn’t allow for 2 different addresses. What to I do? Larissa REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Due to absolutely rampant credit card fraud we now ONLY ship to the registered billing address on the card. It’s the only way we can be sure of being paid. |
| Date: 4.25.2008 Author: Jim I ordered a book titled evey thing I Know about Pai Gow Poker. I uploaded a picture for the front cover and expected to get the book with the picture I uploaded. I received the book with skyline picture of Vegas. I don’t want this picture on the book, I want the book with the picture I uplaoded to your Web Site. Please get back with me and let me know how you can resolve this issue. Jim REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: The personalization form you submitted is shown below. Note that you did NOT include any image with this form. There is not even a path to an image that may have failed to upload. We tried to offer a little extra and provide an image for your book. We will now change that policy. Please return the book to the address on the package it came in; we will refund when we receive it. We will not create another product in this instance. The problem of customers saying they filled out the form in some certain way, when they did not, is one we have come to regard as akin to fingernails on a blackboard. You will have your own copy of the form you filled out if you printed it as directed after submitting it, and you will have the emailed copy of the form you filled out. You will note in both copies that no image was uploaded or even pointed to in the form. Our new policy will be to fulfill the order EXACTLY as the customer submits it, and we will NOT attempt to make the product nicer or better than what is ordered. In this case, the book should have been printed with no image at all. We regret our decision to alter it from what was ordered. This offer to refund is valid for ten business days. Your return should be postmarked within that time. The following information has been submitted on 04-11-2008 21:28:00 by 68.41.67.70: Customer’s First Name: James Customer’s Last Name: Garrity Email: ashipmate@yahoo.com Title of Book: Everything I know About Pai Gow Poker By (Name of Author): Shaun O’Harra Upload an Image: I Agree Not to Use This Product for Illegal and/or Fraudulent Purposes: Yes Verify Authentication Code: 78354 |
| Date: 4.25.2008 Author: Lisa I placed an order a long while ago, one for a DNA test and one for ultrasound pics. I recieved the ultrasound pics but I never recieved the DNA test, can you please check on that for me? thanks, lee REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: This order was placed over TWO MONTHS ago. It should have been followed up on far sooner than this. This order was processed and shipped during a USPS server outage; therefore we cannot prove that the fake dna test was shipped. We are shipping a replacement at this moment. You’ll receive a tracking number directly from the carrier. A signature with ID will be required upon delivery. We will adjust our policy regarding the amount of time that has passed for customers to dispute a delivery and we will force a delivery signature on all items henceforth. UPDATE: Both USPS and FedEx are now rejecting your address as invalid. We have elected to refund to you instead of shipping another product. |
| Date: 4.24.2008 Author: glenn i need help with a order.. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We noted your previous entry below, and we replied to it. We’re unable to help unless we know what the problem is. Please state the trouble you’re having and we’ll reply within 24 hours (often within minutes). |
| Date: 4.23.2008 Author: Dave Many thanks for the excellent work on the paper (we’re using as a film prop). The director was ecstatic over the finished product. After having tried to “sell” a white-paper version on camera, he knew he needed the real deal. Local new presses didn’t offer any help – obviously that’s not why they’re in business. But after finding you folks, it was a no-brainer. And your turnaround was stellar. Thanks again! REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Holy cow! You must have received the $2.50 we sent you to post this comment! Thanks! If we were rich, we’d much rather work for kind comments than money. This makes our day. Thanks again. |
| Date: 4.23.2008 Author: glenn i was wondering how to send a picture in to get in the newspapper.please let me know. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: On each product page there is a form. Each form has two fields for uploading your images. Each field has a specific purpose (please read the little help/explanation for each one). To attach your photo(s) to any form, click the BROWSE button in the form and browse to the image on your hard drive. When you finally submit the form, the form will take a copy of that image from your hard drive and send it to us. |
| Date: 4.21.2008 Author: Greg Fraser Hi, i am a Painting & Printmaking student in my final Year at the Glasgow School of Art and i need aged(yellowed) newsprint for a book i am making. It has to be A3 or over and blank. I need about 100 sheets of this, would this be possible? Thank you for your reply in advance. Cheers Greg. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Sorry, we’re not willing to sell aged newsprint blank. It’s worth far more to us as a printed product, and it’s not something we have large quantities of. |
| Date: 4.17.2008 Author: Tamisha Date: 4.17.2008 IP: 71.203.176.13 Author: Tamisha Name Tamisha Pumphrey Phone 904-483-1716 Order # 52729035 City or Town Jacksonville Hello, I requested that my order be stopped, and the payment for the item still posted to my account. I would like to have that $23.23 USD charge refunded please. Thank you, Tamisha REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Please READ this page. Your question is answered just above this in about five different ways. Your order was cancelled per your request (shown a few blocks below this). Against our better judgement we elected not to charge you our standard order cancellation fee. We now deeply regret that decision, and we will charge it in the future regardless of circumstances. Again, you must ACTUALLY READ this page before submitting a question because 99% of all questions have already been answered here. 1799747xxx Settled Successfully 11-Apr-2008 18:32:33 Pumphrey, Tamisha V XXXX5498 USD 23.23 11-Apr-2008 22:18:30 USD 23.23 1799880XXX Refund 11-Apr-2008 23:29:50 Pumphrey, Tamisha V XXXX5498 USD (23.23) 12-Apr-2008 22:20:10 USD (23.23) |
| Date: 4.15.2008 Author: Anthony I’m contemplating the idea of having a custom magazine created showcasing my resume. My question is related to the “…advertisements, and other stories of a varied and eclectic nature.” Would the filler stories and such be considered appropriate for a corporate environment (i.e. non-discriminatory and free of coarse language and bawdy adult material)? I personally have no reservations towards swearing & nudity, in fact I wholeheartedly embrace them… but I wouldn’t want a potential employer to know that! Thank you in advance. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: All filler material in the magazines is perfectly prim and proper, of course. |
| Date: 4.12.2008 Author: Dave Greetings. I am designing a newspaper prop for a feature film. The paper will be shown in closeup and needs to be a whole size format, although only the front page will be seen. I’d like to submit a full front-page layout (leaving the rest to your standard dummy layout). I noticed one of the faq’s mentioned submitting a 300dpi jpeg. I can do this but am amenable to other press options if necessary. Assuming this is a special request, how do I get through the ordering process? Also, as an up front concern, this would need to be shipped in a roll as opposed to a three-way fold. Most of the film is shot, but pickups (and this closeup) are being shot this Spring. If you’re interested (and to see we’re legit) you can check out the site: http://www.truenaturethefilm.com. Many thanks! REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: This is really just a standard order. Please do the layout in whatever layout program you like, then save as a bitmap (jpg being the easiest to send). DPI at print size can be as low as 150. To place the order, just order normally, using the “write your own from scratch” option. For the fields, just type a few characters of gibberish (you can do this to test any form as well), and send your page image by pointing to it in the image upload field. When you click SUBMIT it may take a few moments for the form to send the image, since the image will be larger than the usual inset photo. The form can handle sizes up to 10 megs. Once the form has been sent, you’re taken to a page that prompts you to print it for your records; then, near the top of the page, there’s a huge link which says “CONTINUE”. Click that to continue through the shopping cart process. There really is nothing different here than a regular order. When we see that your image is of the entire front page, we would automatically use it for the front page. No price difference. We process these every day. And yes, we’re happy to send it in rolled (not folded) form. Thanks. |
| Date: 4.11.2008 Author: Tamisha I ordered this gift to be rude to my ex-fiance who cheated on me with another girl and who is now going to marry the girl on may 3 of this year. I would like to cancle the order. It is not right, and I feel bad for doing it. It is a petty thing for me to do and I want to stop the order. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Your order has been cancelled. Cancelled orders are subject to our posted $10 cancellation fee. We will go into the system tonight at 10:30 p.m., after the day’s transaction dump to the card processor, and manually stop the transaction. You’ll see a credit on your card statement usually wthin 2-4 business days. Update: The crew voted not to charge the order cancellation fee on this, though they were sorely tempted. |
| Date: 4.9.2008 Author: Justin Douglas I ordered two seperate newspapers from you back around the middle of March. The one set of newspapers came but the others didn’t. However I got charged for both… I was wondering where the second one was? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We’ve scoured through the records here and have found both of your orders. One of them, as you said, was shipped. The other went into a black hole. We think what happened was that the shopping cart company has set up their system in such a way so as to “automatically protect” the customer (sounds like Microsoft). Unfortunately it backfires as often as not. Whenever two orders come in from the same customer, close together (as in a few minutes apart), the system automatically thinks that customer has accidentally placed the second order. In a ham-fisted attempt to prevent double-billing on the same order, the system sends the second order to the “error” bin. We think that’s what happened here, since your second order was only a couple of minutes after the first. Your second order should have been considered missing by the end of March — you needn’t have waited so long to gripe at us, and gripe you should. We can either immediately refund you for the second order, or we can immediately print it and send it out. If you choose to process your missing order, please complete a new form (after submitting the form do NOT, of course, go through the payment process again; just submit the form and you’re done). Just let us know what you prefer. We apologize profusely for the problem. It wasn’t “technically” our fault — well, actually it IS technically our fault. We should have caught it, and we’re sorry we didn’t. Update: We’re sorry we didn’t hear back from you. We’ve now refunded your card. |
| Date: 4.9.2008 Author: Bridgett Rodriguez Hello I placed an order about an hour ago and reliazed that I would like rush delivery can I still do that? It is very important, thanks Bridge REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Can do that, but “Rush” adds roughly $40-42 to your order. If you’re SURE you want to upgrade please answer back in this forum and say, “You have permission to charge my card for “Rush” processing and delivery.” We’ll then manually add that to your card. Our night shift here is over at midnight (20 mins from now) but if we hear back from you quickly enough we can try to process this tonight so as to ship out Wednesday. If we don’t hear back from you in time tonight it will ship out Thursday (assuming Rush is ordered), or within 72 hours if Rush is not ordered. |
| Date: 4.8.2008 Author: Kevin Ok. I thought that was my last question. But I have one more. How do I order 4 whole papers? I am afraid that if I order the same exact paper twice (4 copies total) that you may think I am trying to update and not order a total of 4. Thanks, Kevin REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: The shopping cart will ask you for a quantity. Since the whole size automatically comes with two, you would choose a quantity of 2 to get a total of four. If you need two different stories/headlines, just submit a form for each one, then go through the payment process and specify a quantity for the total number you need. Two will be printed for each form submission. |
| Date: 4.8.2008 Author: Kevin Great! one more question. is there a dicount for multiple copies of the same paper? Looking for 4 or possibly 8. Thanks, Kevin REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Sorry, we don’t start negotiating volume discounts until we get into the 25+ copies range. |
| Date: 4.8.2008 Author: Kevin We are a theater company and are doing a show that requires a NEW YORK TIMES newspaper with a seperate headline. Is this possible? Can you print NEW YORK TIMES? We are running out of options. Thanks, Kevin REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: For almost ten years our attorney told us we couldn’t use “The New York Times”; now she’s reversed herself and says we can. So, yes, no problem. It prints in the New York Times font as well. Please let us know if you need an extra large headline. |
| Date: 4.8.2008 Author: Izzy I’m trying to place an order, I fill out the form and every time that I click summit nothing happens. I already deleted my cache files, and no, Im not attaching a picture. What else can be preventing me from summiting my order form? Thanks. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Kill all the programmers. That’s our best advice. But if that’s not feasible, we suggest rebooting, and try the form again using just gibberish in the fields as a test. We’ve received orders all day with no reported problems, so it could be that your computer is not liking our computer. Rebooting will usually clear it, but every once in awhile, perhaps once or twice a year, we see a situation where some particular computer simply won’t allow a form to submit properly. Please tell us which form, specifically, and we’ll test it from here. You can also try one or two other forms (just enter gibberish as a test) to see if you’re having trouble with all forms, or just one. And please always remember: Computers suck. |
| Date: 4.3.2008 Author: Cheryl Spencer Please send me info to post great remarks!!! I couldn’t be more trilled with entire process and delivered product! You guys rock!! REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We were going to all kill ourselves last night (because we were feeling unappreciated), but we figured we’d wait until today in hopes there would be a customer just like you. Thanks. If we could, we’d forget the loot and just work for kind comments. We’ll take all we can get. |
| Date: 4.2.2008 Author: john I am thinking of ordering a fake newspaper.Can you write the body for an additional fee? Thank You REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Sorry, we no longer provide that service. |
| Date: 4.1.2008 Author: Allyssa 2. Hi, my name is Allyssa Rosenau. I just turned eighteen and I would say around the beginning of February I experienced identity theft. My mother decided I should have a debit card and checkbook for experience, but she also checked it on an hourly basis. We noticed a couple charges that I didn’t do, so we went to the bank and canceled my card and filled out forms for random online sites such as overstock.com. I made sure and double checked it was not something I bought, but one of the things I just got an email saying they had a signature on delivery. It was for a website called trixie pix graphics, which when looking at my bank statement it doesn’t say the full name and when looking up the address on the bank statement provided a pizza hut in Seattle Washington, which was kind of weary because I ate at pizza hut that same day with my debit card. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: You have submitted seven (7) rambling entries here; we’ve deleted the duplicates. We’ll answer this one time only. We’ve blocked you from bombarding this forum again. You placed an order with us for a fake pregnancy test. We filled the order and shipped your merchandise. We shipped it to THE EXACT ADDRESS that is registered with your bank. The item arrived at that address, and YOU SIGNED FOR IT. You now have that merchandise in your possession. You then filed a chargeback stating that you did not order that item. Yet we have your order, placed from your computer, at your IP address. And we have your signature on the delivery receipt. Based on your statements to them, your bank has now taken our money out of our account and given it back to you, yet you still have the product we provided to you. We want our money back. When you file a chargeback it costs us even more money, plus the time to fight it. Now we REALLY want our money back. Regarding your convoluted story about Pizza Hut……..HUH? There is a Pizza Hut in the complex where our shipping center resides. It has nothing to do with us, and nothing to do with you, and nothing to do with this order. The charge on your card was from TrixiePixGraphics, not Pizza Hut. The product you received was from TrixiePixGraphics, not Pizza Hut. The money you have bamboozled us out of is OURS, not Pizza Hut’s. We want OUR money back. From a legal standpoint, we have the order originating from your own IP address. We have the order being shipped to YOUR EXACT ADDRESS. We have YOUR SIGNATURE on the delivery receipt. The court needs nothing more. You have told your bank that you didn’t place this order and didn’t receive the merchandise. We believe this is not an innocent mistake; we believe it is a flat-out lie. We believe, given the evidence, that the court will see it the same way. How can you explain the order being placed from your own computer? How can you explain the fact that it was sent not to some other address, but to YOUR address. And how can you explain YOUR signature on the delivery receipt? We’ll videotape the small claims court session and post it right here. We are so, so, SO sick of scammers and shysters and rip-off artists. We battle them every single day, without exception or let-up. They never stop. We get angrier and angrier and angrier, just trying to keep from being shafted by these bottom-feeders. In those instances where we can catch them red-handed and prosecute them, we do. You cannot possibly have forgotten placing this order. You cannot possibly say you don’t remember signing for it AT YOUR OWN ADDRESS. You cannot possibly say you’ve forgotten receiving the product. You’ve taken from us the money we earned. We want it back. We intend to get it. Now, again, per our snail-mail demand for payment, either pay us for the product we provided you, or we will sue you either by proxy in small claims court, or we will sue you in person when we go to the Oshkosh air show this (and every) year. You have the address to remit the payment to. We suggest you do it without delay. Our fraud complaint stands. PS: You’ve been blocked from ever ordering from us again (goes without saying). We do NOT believe this is “an innocent mistake”. There’s just too much black and white evidence for that argument to hold water. UPDATE, 4-25-08: We received a money order to pay for this item. We consider the matter closed but never forgotten. We’ve now lost only about $20 due to this customer’s shenanigan. |
| Date: 4.1.2008 Author: Brian Hi, I need three fake newspapers. each with a different headline. Only one may need a photo in it. I can display the other two folded in half so only the headlines show. The text can be dummy text. I don’t need multiple copies. What would you charge me for that? Brian REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Our whole system is built around producing fake newspapers two at a time in the whole newspaper size. We really don’t deviate from what we advertise and offer. |
| Date: 3.28.2008 Author: Luis Anthony Ast I would like to use one of your giant checks for an education video I wish to create. It does not matter what business is actually listed on it, so I was thinking if I may use YOURS. This way, I would be advertising your fine product to other teachers who may want to get similar giant checks for their own use in class. Please contact me for more details. You can see the videos I have out already at: REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: You’re welcome to order any check you like, personalized in any way you like. Thank you. |
| Date: 3.27.2008 Author: Sasha Hey i just tried to order with my bank card and it got rejected for reason number 27 i am aware that its the billing address not matching so i called my bank and they assured me that they had the correct address on file. I tried again and it gave me the same reason so now i have 3 pending orders…and no mercandise to be shipped….will they clear.. eventually? If you guys could perhaps look into it… that would be great i believe the problem lies with the city and zip code… because 33146 FL should be referred to as Coral Gables however some people still put Miami… i myself changed it online through my banks website. If u could look into it and process only one of the orders i will greatly appreciate it Thanks!! REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Regarding the charges on your card, we’ve answered that in minute detail right on this page. Just scroll up a few inches and read the big, red subject headers. The charges on your card after a decline are your bank’s policy, not ours. Again, just read the answer we posted above, years ago. Re helping you with your address, there’s really nothing we can do. It’s not a matter of whether or not your address is correct according to the USPS; it’s a matter of whether the address you provide to us MATCHES the address your card company has on file. Technically speaking, your bank (at least its computers) absolutely do not care what address you’ve given them. Let’s say you went on to your bank’s website and entered your address like this: Peewee Herman Hi-Ho Hi-Ho LollyPop Lane Pervertville, Alaska, 12345 Just like that. Exactly. And you give it 24 hours to get absorbed by your bank’s network. Now let’s say you come to our website and order something, and in the address field you supply the address above, exactly as you typed it into your bank’s website. Your order with us will go through without a hitch, because the address you gave us, matches the address you gave to your bank. It doesn’t matter (at all) that it’s not your correct address. As long as it matches your bank, you’re good to go. Of course we will ONLY ship to the address that matches your bank, so you’ll need to make a deal with Peewee to have him sign for your order when it arrives. If he refuses the delivery, you’ve lost your order and you’re out of luck. So you can see that the issue of whether you live in Miama or Timbuktu doesn’t matter. The easiest way to cure the address problem is to go to your bank’s website, enter whatever address you want, then give it 24 hours to propagate. THEN place your order and use whatever address you supplied to your bank. It will then painlessly go through. That’s all there is to it. Your order will then be shipped to that, and only that, address, and your bank statements will be sent there by your bank, also. This is not complicated at all, though so many customers have issues with this and wring their hands for days or weeks trying to figure it out. We’ll ship to any address (within the US) as long as it matches the address your bank has on file. It’s no more mysterious or painful than that. |
| Date: 3.27.2008 Author: hassanah saeed I would like to know if i order a magazine and issue the story, do you do all of the type setting REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We are asked this exact question, word for word, absolutely verbatim, about once a year. We reply each time with the following: We do not understand the question. We manufacture and print fake magazines. That would naturally require and include that we do all the “typesetting”. We don’t understand why this is being asked. It’s like ringing up a bakery and asking, “When you make a cake, do you mix all the batter?” Making the batter is a prerequisite to making the cake. So if one advertises that they make cakes, it naturally follows that they make all the batter. It’s not a question that needs asking, and we are becoming more and more curious why this exact question is asked once per year. We will not reply to this question again. |
| Date: 3.26.2008 Author: Duane Ullery According to the USPS click n ship email I received, you are going to ship my order to the billing address I supplied not the shipping address. The shipping adress is in Lake worth Florida and I did make the differentitation between the two in the order.Please send my articles to the Lake Worth address. Thanks! REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We’re sorry you did not READ what you agreed to during checkout. Here it is AGAIN: WARNING WARNING WARNING: Due to a large number of orders using stolen credit cards, the billing address you enter into the payment section must exactly match the address your bank or credit card company has on file for your credit or debit card. If the information doesn’t match, your order will be automatically declined by the system. CRITICAL INFO: Unless you have an established commercial account with us we will NOT ship any order to any address except your registered BILLING address, regardless of any different shipping address you enter at checkout. In cases where we have been accomodating and shipped to an alternate address the credit card companies have often declined payment and we have received no money for the sale. By clicking below you indicate that you understand this policy and agree with its terms. This order has been cancelled and you are blocked from ordering from us again. We simply do not have time for this. Please read the fiasco below. |
| Date: 3.26.2008 Author: Shawanda Please take my address off of the posting. That is so unprofessional and inappropriate. According to your reply this order shouldn’t have been sent out. The order had a different shipping address and was confirmed. I kept a copy of the print out if you need confirmation. I would just like a refund for the items purchased. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: This will be our final reply to you. Let’s take your issues one at a time. You are angry because you did not receive your product. You did not receive your product because you used an address that, for whatever reason, is invalid. Your credit card issuer would like to know why the billing address on your card is invalid. You were advised, in HUGE RED PRINT, right on the product page, that your order would NOT be sent to an alternate shipping address, but would ONLY be shipped to your registered billing address. Apparently you chose not to read that, although it’s hard to imagine how that could have happened since the text is in HUGE RED PRINT, and is repeated TWICE! Further, you must scroll through all that huge red print to get to the order form. So how could anyone have possibly missed that huge red warning?! It’s inconceivable to us. Yet miss it you did. You then proceeded through the payment process, and there, once again, you were presented with a similar warning, stating extremely clearly that your order would NOT be sent to any alternate shipping address you enter, but would ONLY be shipped to the registered billing address on the card. At this point you again had to scroll through that text before continuing with the order, and in this instance you actually had to click a button stating that you had read the warning, understood it, and agreed to abide by it. Yet now you are saying that you somehow mysteriously failed to read THAT warning too, even though you clicked to indicate you had read it and understood it. So what’s the problem here, Shawanda? Are you telling us that you cannot read? If that’s the case, then you should not be engaging in activities that REQUIRE that you read. Next: You are angry that your address appears in this forum. Why? All through this page you will find HUGE, bold, conspicuous warnings indicating that ALL communication with ALL customers is done publicly. To work with you on this problem we MUST show you what the records say. We’ve adopted this policy because the vast, vast majority of questions that come to us have already been answered. We can no longer afford the time to answer the same questions over and over and over and over a thousand times, so we post all customer inquiries — and their answers — in this public forum, so that other customers can READ the answers to the questions they are about to ask, thereby getting their answer instantly, and saving everyone a lot of time and headaches. Many online businesses are adopting this method of customer interaction. It works. But it apparently makes you angry. In point of fact, you agreed to this mode of communication when you chose to use it. But now you’re angry. Again, we suggest that this is a problem brought on by your own steadfast refusal to READ. What, specifically, should you have read? THIS, for one: WARNING Messages Submitted through this form are NOT PRIVATE By using the service below you are agreeing to the terms of this page It is displayed, once again, in HUGE RED PRINT, just above this forum box. You claim that our mode of communication is “so unprofessional”. We’re sorry you feel that way — no, actually, we’re not. We find YOUR peculiar refusal to READ DIRECTIONS to be at the very root of this entire problem. Talk about unprofessionalism. Now, to address your order concerns. You state (pasted from above): “According to your reply this order shouldn’t have been sent out. The order had a different shipping address and was confirmed. I kept a copy of the print out if you need confirmation. I would just like a refund for the items purchased.” Exactly how have you come to THAT conclusion? Let’s go over your order again. Here is your complete order, cut and pasted from the credit card processor’s website. This is exactly what you received as your order confirmation email. Here is your order: (We actually have one attempted order and one completed order in our files. The attempted order, below, was declined by YOUR card issuer (not us), for Reason-2. That is usually an error indicating “Card Over Limit”, but other reasons can fall under the Reason-2 decline). Here is that order: Payment Processor Error: This transaction has been declined. (Reason 2) Order No.: 49382575 Date: 03/05/2008 SHIP TO: Shawanda Henderson 3415 Valley Road, P.O. Box 825 Liberty Corner, NJ 07938 United States 973-462-0096 shawanda_riley@hotmail.com BILL TO: Shawanda Henderson 40 Willow Street Washington, NJ 07882 United States 9734620096 shawanda_riley@hotmail.com Payment Method: Credit Card ORDER DETAILS: Item: Fake Pregnancy Test FT-2 Quantity: 2 Description: Fake Pregnancy Test Price (each): $22.95 Item Total: $45.90 _________________________________________ Subtotal: $45.90 Shipping (3-7 Day Average): +$6.95 Grand Total: $52.85 When that order was declined, you perhaps switched cards and placed the following order: SHIP TO: Shawanda Henderson 3415 Valley Road, P.O. Box 825 Liberty Corner, NJ 07938 United States 973-462-0096 shawanda_riley@hotmail.com BILL TO: Shawanda Henderson 40 Willow Street Washington, NJ 07882 United States 973-462-0096 shawanda_riley@hotmail.com Payment Method: Credit Card Credit Card Type: Visa Account Number: ************XXXX ORDER DETAILS: Item: Fake Pregnancy Test FT-2 Quantity: 2 Description: Fake Pregnancy Test Price (each): $22.95 Item Total: $45.90 _________________________________________ Subtotal: $45.90 Shipping (3-7 Day Average): +$6.95 Grand Total: $52.85 You state, above, that this order should not have been shipped out by us. Why? Please be specific (this is a rhetorical question). The order was accepted by your card issuer, and it was accepted by our card processor. The billing address is exactly what is registered to the card you used. So why should this order not have been shipped out? Perhaps you are STILL not “getting” what is being said to you. Our warnings on the product page (in huge red, bold print) tell you exactly and specifically, even explicitly, that NO ORDER WILL BE SENT TO AN ALTERNATE SHIPPING ADDRESS. Please read that again and again and again until, hopefully, it finally comes clear to you. Every fraudster in the world tries to get their order shipped to an alternate address. That’s how they operate. To protect against that, we DO NOT SHIP TO AN ALTERNATE ADDRESS except to established corporate accounts. It’s been our posted policy for some time. Would it help if we repeated that warning here again? Okay! Here it is again: WE DO NOT SHIP TO AN ALTERNATE ADDRESS. You were advised of this on the product page, and you were advised of this, and were required to agree to it, in the checkout process. Yet you are now, still, complaining repeatedly that your order was not sent to your alternate shipping address, and, somehow, you think that because you entered an alternate shipping address into the shopping cart your order should not have been sent out at all. This makes less than no sense, and we have no doubt that you’re unable to supply any explanation that would make it make sense. You can type any address you want into the alternate shipping address, but that doesn’t force us to ignore our policy and ship to anything except what we say we’ll ship to, and which you agreed to! You state: “The order had a different shipping address and was confirmed. I kept a copy of the print out if you need confirmation.” Huh? The BILLING address is the only address that is “confirmed” by the card processor. And it’s the only address we’ll consider when doing business with ANYONE except an established corporate account. You were required to agree to this during checkout, and you did. You offer to give us a copy of your sales email in case we need it. Thanks, but multiple copies of it appear above, straight from the server, and they match exactly the sales emails you received. As to the disposition of your order, please find the tracking data below: Transaction Number: 11121XXXX Print Date/Time: 03/05/2008 07:47 PM CST Postage Amount: $6.35 Credit Card Number: XXXX XXXX XXXX XXXX Signature Confirmation™ # 2103 8555 7490 7635 XXXX (Sequence Number 1 of 1) Shipped to: SHAWANDA HENDERSON 40 WILLOW ST WASHINGTON NJ 07882-2114 When we run that tracking number we get the following (read from bottom to top): Label/Receipt Number: 2103 8555 7490 7635 XXXX Detailed Results: Processed, March 25, 2008, 8:42 pm, FEDERAL WAY, WA 98003 Processed, March 25, 2008, 12:44 am, KEARNY, NJ 07032 Processed, March 24, 2008, 11:21 pm, KEARNY, NJ 07032 Unclaimed, March 24, 2008, 4:38 pm, WASHINGTON, NJ Notice Left, March 18, 2008, 11:29 am, WASHINGTON, NJ 07882 Notice Left, March 08, 2008, 10:30 am, WASHINGTON, NJ 07882 Processed, March 07, 2008, 11:31 pm, KEARNY, NJ 07032 Electronic Shipping Info Received, March 05, 2008 Obviously your order has been re-routed to us as “UNCLAIMED”. We’ve not yet received it back at the shipping center, but it will probably arrive there in the next day or two (if it arrives at all). As with ALL such cases, the customer is free to use our “re-ship” function (it’s linked in the left-hand sidebar of every page on this website) to have their item, well, RE-SHIPPED! Per our posted policy, all returned items are kept for 15 days, then DISCARDED. That means THROWN AWAY. After that time, you will no longer be able to re-ship your order. If you fail to use our re-ship option within 15 days after it arrives back here (if it does at all), your item will be thrown out and you will have no further recourse but to sue us, and God knows we hope you do. If you try to somehow get out of paying for your product, we will, most assuredly, sue YOU. We use a proxy system to file in Small Claims, even in New Jersey. So let’s recap this entire fiasco. You expect that a business should fill your order, ship it exactly to the correct address, and then, since that address is no good, the business should simply lose the product, the cost of the shipping, and the cost of all the labor that went into fulfilling that order. Is that what you think? If all businesses were to cater to a misguided sense of entitlement of that magnitude, there would be not a single business operating in the world today. The bottom line is simple: You ordered. You were advised that we would ONLY ship to the card’s registered billing address. You then AGREED to that stipulation during a secure-server session during checkout. We fulfilled our end of the bargain EXACTLY. We even shipped your item ahead of schedule. But since YOU couldn’t be bothered to READ DIRECTIONS or to READ WHAT YOU WERE AGREEING TO, you feel that WE should eat your mistakes and lose money. What if you order a pizza delivery, and you provide an address that is across town from where you happen to be, and the delivery guy or gal tries to deliver that pizza to the address you supplied and finds it’s an abandon warehouse, but then you got mad because you didn’t receive that pizza — would that be more than a little silly and foolish? Yes. You managed to read the product description, correct? You did choose to order the fake pregnancy tests, and not the customized fake books, because you read the item label and description on the product page. You got that part right, correct? You knew what you were ordering, correct? You knew what you were ordering because you READ the product description, right? But you’re now saying that you did NOT read the huge red warnings on the page, and you did NOT read the stipulation about the address — right? Any court will agree that READING is part of ORDERING, at least online. And any court will agree that you should READ anything that you AGREE to. Right? This isn’t rocket science here. This is as dog-simple as it gets. You were warned over and over and over that your item would ONLY be shipped to the registered billing address, yet you ignored that policy even after you agreed to it! And now you want the business to pay for YOUR mistakes! That is one of the most arrogant things we have ever come across! We sometimes get a customer who orders a fake newspaper, and in filling out the form for their story, they mistakenly use, for instance, the name “Bob” instead of the name “John” for one of the characters in their story. Of course we print what we receive. Then, when the customer receives their product, they will write back and explain that they made a mistake (they admit it because they have a copy of the form they submitted), and they want us to print and ship a new copy, for free. We start out by politley declining. Then they get angry. Then we get angry. Then they are blocked from ordering from us again. Do they ever “get” that they are responsible for their own mistakes? Probably not, because few Americans do these days. They think that EVERYONE ELSE is responsible for THEIR mistakes and they begin to try to push us and to bully us into paying for their stupidity. But by then we’re beyond caring. It’s that misguided sense of entitlement thing again. NO ONE is “entitled” to have SOMEONE ELSE pay for THEIR mistakes. Reality is just not that way. We’re reminded of the speech just the other day given by Obama’s wife in which she said that now that Obama was doing well on the road to presidency, it was THE FIRST TIME she had ever been proud of her country! Never mind that she was one of the top-ten luckiest women in the world to have received scholarships to the three top colleges in the world at the expense of the American people, that she drew down a cushy $300,000 a year in a job that’s in reality worth about $70,000, that her husband had ALREADY been sent to the Senate, and that her life was blessed in just about every way an American woman’s life CAN be blessed — she was STILL ticked that life, for her, had been pretty disappointing, and that that was THE FIRST TIME she had been proud of her country. She felt that the presidency was Obama’s due, and that if he didn’t get it, she would go back to being disappointed in her country again. What a spoiled brat! What a thoroughly obnoxious broad! Frankly, the woman can shove a sock in it. We’re sick to frigging death of that misguided sense of entitlement that so many Americans now believe in. Really. It’s disgusting. You have a couple of options here. One option you do NOT have is placing an order from us ever again, except to have your order re-shipped. You were blocked from ordering again within one minute of receiving your first outrageous communication. Another option you do NOT have is communicating with us again. Should you fail to heed this stipulation, we’ll simply file a harassment complaint with the Washington, NJ, PD, and let it run it’s course. You’ve wasted a couple hours of our time now, and we’re drawing the line. What you MAY do, however, is use our re-ship option to have your order re-shipped to you. The cost is a few bucks. Customers use it all the time without the slightest bit of silliness or complaint. Your order will be re-shipped the moment we receive it back, assuming we receive it back at all. If we do not receive it back, you will NOT be refunded. It was YOUR choice to use an unacceptable, invalid address, not ours. We cannot and will not be responsible for the dumb decisions of customers, especially when we’ve gone to such incredible lengths to keep them from making dumb decisions! Or, you can try some other means to get your money back. If you do, we will, of course, sue you by proxy in small claims in New jersey. We are SO tired of customers with a misguided sense of entitlement that, yes, we will spend a thousand dollars to make this an example case. To avoid unpleasant situations like this in the future we suggest you READ. You must read the product descriptions, you must read any posted warning about the product or the ordering process, and yet if you STILL refuse to read that stuff, you MUST AT LEAST read what you agree to! If you’re over 18, it’s a legal requirement. Most kids are taught this little tidbit of logic by about age ten. If you STILL make a mistake, you must understand that the merchant is NOT responsible for YOUR mistakes. NO ONE is responsible for YOUR mistakes but YOU! Get it? Do you understand this? Obviously not! The merchant is responsible for ITS OWN MISTAKES. Had we ACTUALLY sent your order to a bad address because of our own mistake, you would have received a profound and heartfelt public apology, an offer to mercilessly KILL the offending employee, and we would have re-shipped your item at our expense, overnight, and probably would have added a third fake pregnancy test to boot. But we did NOT make a mistake here. YOU did. We did absolutely everything we were supposed to do, and we did it quickly, and accurately, and we are frankly sick to Go–damned death of customers who think the world owes them a living. We’re sick of it. Now, either use the re-ship option (that’s the ONE thing you may EVER order from us again), or let’s go to court. REPLY UPDATE: In discussing this problem with the crew later this same evening, someone raised a valid point: The more opportunity we give you to interact with us, the more problems we open ourselves up to. Obviously you are unable to follow the simplest of instructions. That being the case, we do not WANT you to have our products. None. Ever. As it happens, your order was returned to us this evening in good condition by USPS. We’re going to refund to you, less shipping charges, and less our $10 order cancellation fee. We almost never invoke it, but we’re certainly going to this time. We wish it was higher, and once we’ve made your refund, we will raise it. Unfortunately, since our posted cancellation fee at the time of this problem is only $10, we’re stuck honoring that, and that’s what you’ll be charged. You’ve wasted everyone’s time to a colossal degree in this, including your own. Considering the time involved, we’ve probably lost about $50. That means that had you never come into our lives, we’d be about $50 richer at this moment. It could have all been prevented had you understood the very basic concept of READING the thing you are AGREEING to. You’ll see your refund on your card in the next few days. You will never, ever try to order from us again. You will never, ever try to communicate with us again. If you attempt either of these things, we will no longer be able to contain the resulting volume of information in this little forum, and we will have to move this to its own website. . . |
| Date: 3.22.2008 Author: Amanda Dempsey Date: 3.22.2008 IP: 38.100.144.138 Author: Amanda Dempsey Amanda 8328884919 Houston, TX Please contact me ASAP I need my money back you charged my credit card but never submitted my order because it was “declined” according to you!!! REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Before embarassing yourself further, please take a moment to actually READ THIS PAGE. We’re fresh out of patience with this. You’re blocked from ordering in the future. |
| Date: 3.22.2008 Author: Amanda Dempsey Date: 3.22.2008 IP: 38.100.144.138 Author: Amanda Dempsey Amanda 8328884919 Houston, TX My credit card was billed however when it went thru on your web site it said it was declined. I want my money back please… Please contact me ASAP REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Before embarassing yourself further, please take a moment to actually READ THIS PAGE. We’re fresh out of patience with this. You’re blocked from ordering in the future. |
| Date: 3.21.2008 Author: Shawanda My order was shipped to the wrong address. I would like to cancel my order since it is still in the possession of the post office. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Let’s see. The following message is displayed on the product page in HUGE red letters, not once but twice; it is also displayed during checkout and you must acknowledge it to continue through the payment process: WARNING WARNING WARNING: Due to a large number of orders using stolen credit cards, the billing address you enter into the payment section must exactly match the address your bank has on file for your credit or debit card. If the information doesn’t match, your order will be CANCELLED. ALSO, we will NOT ship this item to any address except your registered BILLING address, regardless of any different shipping address you enter at checkout! We’re sick and tired of credit card fraud! WARNING WARNING WARNING: Due to a large number of orders using stolen credit cards, the billing address you enter into the payment section must exactly match the address your bank has on file for your credit or debit card. If the information doesn’t match, your order will be CANCELLED. ALSO, we will NOT ship this item to any address except your registered BILLING address, regardless of any different shipping address you enter at checkout! We’re sick and tired of credit card fraud! The address you entered is this: Shawanda Henderson 40 Willow Street Washington, NJ 07882 The address your order was shipped to is this: Shawanda Henderson 40 Willow Street Washington, NJ 07882 If your item comes back to us, it will be held for 15 days, then discarded. You’re free within that 15 days to use our re-ship option, available from the sidebar of any of our 2300 pages. Once again, however, we will only ship to the registered billing address, except in the case of corporate accounts. |
| Date: 3.21.2008 Author: julie Date: 3.19.2008 IP: 24.5.147.185 Author: julie Name (normally hidden): julie Phone (normally hidden): 8316888862 Order # (normally hidden): 49931295 City or Town (normally hidden): aptos you placed the wrong name on the lab results REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: You didn’t give us a last name (we have thousands of customers named Julie). At least please give us the order number (four digits, something like 6534, to be found in the subject line of your order confirmation email where it says “Order # ______”. The number you provided has no meaning in our system — the order number is four digits, no more, no less). Once we can look up your order, we’ll take care of the problem immediately. REPLY from CUSTOMER: the right name on the lab results should have read the same name as the billing name can you please correct it REPLY from TrixiePixGraphics: Whatever was entered under the billing address or billing name has absolutely nothing to do with what is printed on the product. Below is the form you submitted. You will have a copy of it if you printed it after submitting the form, as recommended, and you will have a second copy of it as it was emailed to you automatically after you submitted the form. In any case, below is what you submitted on the form, and it is exactly what was printed on your fake pregnancy papers. This is the actual form you submitted. Nothing is re-typed; everything that the customer enters into the form is simply moved onto the product. You cannot enter one name into the form, then ask us to reprint the product using a different name that was entered in the billing address field during checkout. We print only what the customer enters into the personalization form: The following information has been submitted on 03-11-2008 19:39:50 by 24.5.147.185: Customer’s First Name Juliana Customer’s Last Name Medina Email: medinasilva@yahoo.com Name of Preggo Cesar Chavez Date of Birth 01/09/1988 Phone Number (831)688-8862 Address 151 Canterbury Dr #511 Aptos CA 95003 Age (years and months0 19 Date of Collection 10/29/07 Date Recieved 10/31/07 Date Reported 11/02/07 Doctor’s Name (no real names!) Alexandra Klikoff Test Value 3-4 weeks I certify I’ve used no real names Yes I Agree Not to Use This Product for Illegal and/or Fraudulent Purposes Yes I promise to use this product for entertainment purposes only Yes I understand I must check email within 12-24 hrs after placing this order in case there is a question concerning my order Tes Verify Authentication Code: 46702 The following information has been submitted on 03-11-2008 19:19:45 by 24.5.147.185: Customer’s First Name juliana Customer’s Last Name medina Email: medinasilva@yahoo.com Patient’s Name on Ultrasound Juliana Medina Doctor’s Name on Ultrasound Alexandra Klikoff Hospital (Clinic) Name Dominican Hospital Date of Ultrasound 2/09/2008 Ultrasound Version Plain Ultrasound #2 Gender (or?) Female — 90% Certainty I Agree Not to Use This Product for Illegal and/or Fraudulent Purposes Yes Verify Authentication Code: 10734 REPLY from CUSTOMER: Date: 3.21.2008 IP: 24.5.147.185 Author: julie Name (normally hidden): juliana medina Phone (normally hidden): 8316888862 Order # (normally hidden): 6620 City or Town (normally hidden): aptos yes i know you did not specify what prego meant on your form REPLY from TrixiePixGraphics: Then you should have: (1) ASKED (2) NOT ORDERED This is too absurd to reply to again. You were supplied EXACTLY what you ordered. |
| Date: 3.20.2008 Author: Rheba You guys are really funny!!!! I found the perfect picture of my friend for his “wanted” poster, but I am afraid it’s too dark. Once I place the order and pay, will I receive a “proof?” I want it to show well. I would also like to know the cost of larger “special request” poster (29″ x 36″). Thanks! REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: On inexpensive gags in this price range, we do not provide proofs. However, we automatically adjust pictures to look as good as possible. Re the 29×36, it’s no longer available — we’ll try to remove mention of it in the next day or two. |
| Date: 3.20.2008 Author: T Hey guys Couple questions for you about the fake news videos.. 1, Am i able to put the video online just for personal use to send to a friend?.. & 2 does the channel54 logo appear on the video?,, if so is it possible to get it without it… Thanks so much.. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Yes, you may put the video online for non-commercial purposes as long as it’s not altered and the “channel54News.com” shown in the ticker is not removed. The copyright notice that shows across the middle of the screen does NOT appear in the DVD footage you receive, but the channel54news.com in the ticker does show and may not be removed. It displays just like Fox News, or any other news network does, in their tickers. The version you receive is formatted for a regular TV screen. You would have to re-render it to get it to web size. |
| Date: 3.18.2008 Author: Harry Meier Hi, I have ordered a couple of times from you last year (international customer) without messing arround with payment etc. I was not taken to the mentioned payment site.How can I place an order for a magazine and pay? None of my submits went through.Your help is appreciated,Harry (Switzerland) REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: All international orders are now handled by wire transfer. When you fill out a form for anything, and then continue through the process, you’re presented with a screen that says if you’re a US customer click HERE, but if you’re an international customer click HERE. International customers are then routed to a short form. After the form, they’re taken to a page which should be printed and taken to their bank. That page contains all the info that’s needed to send a wire transfer to pay for their order. It’s cumbersome and irritating for the customer and for us. We hate it. But it’s the only way we know of to reliably get paid from overseas. Just last year we were bamboozled out of the payment for about a dozen fake magazines sent overseas. We had to do something, and we did. We continue to research options for doing business overseas. So far, none (NONE) are reliable. |
| Date: 3.15.2008 Author: Marc Etienne Hi, I received the whole newspaper today. I must say that I am not only impressed with the product itself, but with the speed with which you were able to process the order and get it shipped. A big thank you for some of the best service I’ve seen from any business in recent memory. I’ll be using your services again in the future and will recommend you highly. Best, Marc REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Thanks Marc, but in all honesty this was an easy one. This was nothing special at all. We’re always amazed when people are surprised to receive “normal” customer service. |
| Date: 3.12.2008 Author: Izzy I just moved and havent had a chance to change my address at the bank; therefore my billing address would be different ffrom my shipping address. Would I still be able to purchase something? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Almost in the time it takes to type a message into this box, you can change your billing address with your bank. We only ship to billing addresses — shipping addresses are ignored except for approved corporate accounts. |
| Date: 3.12.2008 Author: Izzy Hello there; I want to play a prank on my boyfriend by purchasing a fake pregnancy certificate, but i noticed that on your blured samples it has a Washington address. Will that same address appear on the one a buy? Or will you make up a fake address that is in my city? Thanks REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: The reference to a Washington lab actually is made to appear as though that’s the “main corporate address” of that lab, not the lab you went to, to get tested. The dates are used to denote when you were tested, when the sample was sent to the Washington-based lab, when it was returned to your local lab, etc. |
| Date: 3.12.2008 Author: Marc Date: 2.22.2008 Author: Marc Date: 2.19.2008 Author: Marc Hello, Question before I order: How much more would it cost to add an inner page inside the “whole newspaper” order? This inner page would have the format of the “full page ad” that is sometimes purchased from real newspapers by individuals or organizations. Thank you Marc REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: All “whole” size orders come with a second sheet as a filler, so you end up with a total of eight pages. The only exception is with era-specific templates, in which cases you get only the one sheet (four pages). The inside sheets are a combination of ads, articles, filler, etc. Again, the filler sheets are four pages each. Marc’s REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Thank you for the information. Would I be able to order a customized full page ad within the filler pages that are inside? So the order would end up being the customized story on the front page and then a customized full page ad inside. Thank you REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We could do that, but since we have no templates for that, and could not justify creating one for a single order, you would have to create your content in the layout prog of your choice, then export it as a graphic (bitmap) file (jpg is best); we would then lay that onto one of the filler pages and print a special run of the filler pages (which are normally printed in huge lots, once or twice per year). This is not a great deal of trouble, but is certainly “some” trouble, so we would charge the regular price of this product, plus $10 per page to special-print the fillers. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Just the one-time $10 charge. This would be added manually after you placed the order through the normal shopping cart interface. Marc’s latest REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Thank you for the information. How would I go about placing such a special order? And when you say $10 extra per filler page, would this in essence be an extra cost of $40 per whole paper since the filler sheet has 4 pages? Thank you |
| Date: 3.12.2008 Author: AnneMarie Hello I was hoping you can let me know where I can get paper work on a stillborn death… unfortunatley It was a prank that now needs to be put to rest any thoughts on what I can do…. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We’ve had many requests for this, but try as we will, we cannot begin to imagine how this could even remotely be construed as a humorous thing. It’s just too sad to contemplate. Unless someone can show us how this could be funny, we won’t ever offer a document like this. |
| Date: 3.11.2008 Author: amrita hi, i needed to create an advertisment either on the front page or the last page of a newspaper. i understand this will happen in the whole newspaper format but i havent seen any samples of anything like that.would it be possible to see where the ad would go .. thanks amrita REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: The front page never has ads, so we’re talking probably the back page. The last picture at this link shows the front and back pages. http://www.trixiepixgraphics.com/books/fake_samples-whole.html |
| Date: 3.10.2008 Author: pjones I am not able to see that last question I posted? I just need to know how and where to enter my cc info, for the fake pregnancy papers REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: When you submit a question, a screen comes up which tells you that your question is being reviewed. Please give us at least 30 seconds before posting a new question asking why the first question wasn’t posted yet. |
| Date: 3.10.2008 Author: pjones I tried to order the fake pregnancy papers, and after filling out the form, I clicked submit, and got an e-mail confirmation, but I never checked out, nor put in my cc info. . .when do I do that? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: After you submit your form, a page comes up and on that page there is a HUGE link which says CONTINUE. To CONTINUE on to the next step in the order process you would, oddly enough, click CONTINUE. |
| Date: 3.10.2008 Author: ambyr hi, i ordered the fake ultrasounds and it has shipped to my billing address and i no longer live there. i moved about 2 weeks ago and my credit card company hasn’t changed my address over.. that address is like two hours away is there any way to get it shipped to my shipping address or what should i do? thanks REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Here is a cut and paste of the message that appears in huge read font on the product page; a similar message is presented during checkout: WARNING WARNING WARNING: Due to a large number of orders using stolen credit cards, the billing address you enter into the payment section must exactly match the address your bank has on file for your credit or debit card. If the information doesn’t match, your order will be CANCELLED. ALSO, we will NOT ship this item to any address except your registered BILLING address, regardless of any different shipping address you enter at checkout! We’re sick and tired of credit card fraud! ——————————————————- WARNING WARNING WARNING: Due to a large number of orders using stolen credit cards, the billing address you enter into the payment section must exactly match the address your bank has on file for your credit or debit card. If the information doesn’t match, your order will be CANCELLED. ALSO, we will NOT ship this item to any address except your registered BILLING address, regardless of any different shipping address you enter at checkout! We’re sick and tired of credit card fraud! ——————————————————- Your order has gone out and cannot be retrieved. Assuming your order comes back to us, you are then free to use the “re-ship” link to have it sent out again. Here is the url to that page. Bear in mind that after it has been turned around at your end, it can take from 1-4 weeks to get back to us. Periodically check the tracking to see its status. USPS sent a tracking number to you yesterday or today. http://www.trixiepixgraphics.com/extras/re_ship.html |
| Date: 3.8.2008 Author: Brandon Hi, I contacted you the other day. I need my order to be shipped without the “trixiepixgraphics.com” wording. I just need it to be plain so that the person that checks the mail doesnt know where it came from, ect. She is very nosy and will get online and figure out the prank. Thanks REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Done. |
| Date: 3.8.2008 Author: ambyr I was wondering if the fake ultrasounds have the copyright of fakenewspapers across them as shown on the website. thanks REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Of course not. |
| Date: 3.5.2008 Author: Giancarlo Fiorentini I’m interested in purchasing single article clippings as props for a film, and was wondering if there is anyway to receive less than 10 copies of an article for a smaller fee, or perhaps have several different articles printed in one 10 article package (that would be ideal). Thank you. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Given the setup time and the fact that this is a $16 or whatever product, we actually lose about a buck fifty on the “small” size, but they are something that just needs to be offered by a company that makes fake newspapers. Sorry, but we’re not interested in losing even more money on this size. |
| Date: 3.5.2008 Author: anel marin anel marin anelmarin18@hotmail.com AKA: Efrain Fuentes 24 mark twain ct. O’ fallon, MO 63366 United States 636-699-0951 hi, i buy a marriage certificate on 12/19/07 and i dint receive, and i pay again for re-shipped on 1/30/08 and you charged and i haven’t receive, and on 1/31/08 you charged me again and i dint it pay for re-shipped. i need my money back because i never order a re-shipped on 1/31/08. i have the receive for the re-shipped on 1/30/08. please give me the money back $14.95 for the re-shipped on 1/31/08. and stop charged me. thank you REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: This will be our third and final reply to your inquiry. Our first two replies were polite; this one is not. Now listen carefully: You placed this order on 12-19-07 for two fake marriage certificates. Here’s the order data: 1666262824 43431668 Settled Successfully 19-Dec-2007 09:57:44 Fuentes, Efrain V XXXXXXXXX USD 23.90 19-Dec-2007 22:23:29 USD 23.90 They were shipped on 12-19-07. Delivery was attempted on 12-24-08 by USPS. Here is the entry by your postmaster: Status: Undeliverable as Addressed “Your item was undeliverable as addressed at 1:08 PM on December 24, 2007 in O FALLON, MO 63366. It is being returned if appropriate information is available.” The address on your order was exactly the same as the address you supplied in your order form. We received your order back here on 12-26-07. Per our policy at this link, we hold all returns for at least 15 days. http://www.trixiepixgraphics.com/extras/re_ship.html In your case, the item was held much longer. On 1-28-08 you used our “RE-SHIP” option as follows: 1710340873 46034975 Settled Successfully 28-Jan-2008 18:08:55 Fuentes, Efrain V XXXXXXXX USD 14.45 28-Jan-2008 22:17:44 USD 14.45 We immediately emailed you and informed you that your item had already been discarded, and at that moment we refunded your $14 re-ship payment as follows: 1711740419 46034975 Refund 29-Jan-2008 20:16:57 Fuentes, Efrain V XXXXXXXX USD (14.45) 29-Jan-2008 22:22:09 USD (14.45) Authorize.net also sent you confirmation of this refund with an explanation of why you were being refunded. We received two rambling, nonsensical emails from you after that demanding a refund of your $14 (the $14 that had already been refunded). In each case we referred you to the refund data you had already been sent, and we suggested you confirm it with your bank. Obviously you did neither. These are the ONLY transactions between you and us. There are NO. OTHER. TRANSACTIONS. Now we’ve received your brain-dead, illogical communication above, and that’s the last straw. There are people in the world who should NEVER attempt to order online. You may be one. We suggest you never attempt it again. You’ve been blocked from ordering from us. You may not communicate with us. If you fail to grasp these concepts too, and pester us even one more time, we will instantly file a criminal complaint of harassment. Cease and desist. |
| Date: 3.4.2008 Author: LOSTNLUV OMG!!! THANK YOU!!! MY ORDER FINALLY WENT THROUGH!!! REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We’re looking at your various attempts here to try to see what you did differently to make it finally go through. Do you know what you entered differently? We’re not seeing anything. |
| Date: 3.4.2008 Author: lostnluv this is getting to be kind of frustrating. I know you changed the settings on your card processor but my order still wont go through, and I am certain that i have the correct billing address. I really want to purchase your items REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We agree. We’ve already threatened to file suit against Authorize.net (our card processor) over this problem. At this point only two things will flag your order for a decline: (1) if the card is not from a US bank, or (2) if the zip you enter does not match the zip your card company has on file (the 5-digit zip). If something else is triggering the decline, it’s not available to us on the menu that Authorize.net gives us access to. The credit card fraudsters had been killing us with fraudulent orders, but when we institute the anti-fraud measures from Authorize.net we get hammered even worse. Please try it again, and if you still have trouble, please vent your frustration here, very vocally, using whatever language you deem appropriate, and mention Authorize.net many times so the search engines pick it up. We are as sick of those people and their idiotic, counter-productive programming as you are. Really. We’re having homicidal thoughts. Authorize.net sucks, but we know of no better solution. We tried many over the years; all were worse. |
| Date: 3.4.2008 Author: Mike Why do you not have anything about Military (USMC) having venerial (sp?) disease? Or cheating on the ASFAB Test? Or Master Gunnery Sgt. after 20 + years coming out of the closet? And each wife (4 of them) found out that he had he could only have sex if they were dressed like military personnel. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We can’t think of everything. That’s why we have one page where you can WRITE YOUR OWN FROM SCRATCH. |
| Date: 3.4.2008 Author: lostnluv I keep trying and trying to make an order but i continue to get rejected for reason 27. I have even called my bank to confirm my billing address, and changed it to be the same as my shipping address. I am having no luck. Also, is heavy glossy cardstock thin just like regular ultrasound paper? Please help!!! REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We’ve turned off the AVS system, which is provided by our card processor, Authorize.net, so your order should now go thru. For the search engines: After several miserable years with Authorize.net, we now strongly advise against using them. Re the cardstock, no, heavy cardstock is not like thin ultrasound paper. We do have actual ultrasound paper here in large rolls, but we stopped using it a few years ago because it just looks too fake. We may start offering a choice of media for the ultrasounds, but it will be with the caveat that if you choose cheap, thin ultrasound stock, it will not look believable at all, and your joke may not work. |
| Date: 3.4.2008 Author: Brandon Was just wondering…what type of packaging do you ship in? The person we are doing the prank checks the mail all the time, and I just want to make sure that if they were to look at the packaging, thew wouldnt tell who it was from…as in Fakenewspapers.com or Trixiepixgraphics.com 🙂 REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Most everything today goes out in USPS Priority mailers of one size or another, with a return to TrixiePixGraphics.com. Doubtful they would know what kind of prods came from a graphics company. Nothing says Fakenewspapers. We can manually omit the Trixiepixgraphics if you give us a heads-up right after you order (immediately after). Thanks |
| Date: 3.3.2008 Author: Dj Crazee Hey guys and gals, I was just wondering where it was I could fill out an application of some kind for y’all. I’ve read through the whole “wanted ad” and it saying y’all are lookin for part time employees and such, but have yet to find any actual form to fill out with my information and examples of my work. I would appreciate it if you could just point me in the right direction. Thank you in advance. ~Dj Crazee~ REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Dang — there used to be a form on the Help-Wanted page. Maybe a black hole sucked it up. We’ll go check. But we see you’re hailing from Houston, and we only hire local ppl (western Washington, soon to be New Zealand). We don’t have any “work from home” ops. Sorry. |
| Date: 3.2.2008 Author: Jay I want to play a trick on my dad to get him back, but he doesn’t get fooled to easy. I want to have a obit printed. I have three questions. First, will the other obits around the one I want him to see look like they are real or will they have funny things printed i n them? Second, Will the back of the paper have real news or will it also be funny made up news. Finally, if both the other obits and back of paper be clearly fake, can I get it to look more real? Thank you for your help! REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: There’s nothing on the obits that we know of that could possibly give them away. They were originally designed to help girls get rid of bottom-feeding, low-life stalkers and pestering ex-boyfriends, so we took that purpose very seriously. There’s nothing “funny” in any of the surrounding obits — they are actually taken from real ones, with the names and dates changed. The backs are printed with generic news. None of our fake newspaper products have “funny” stories used as filler material. All surrounding material, even on the backs and filler pages and sheets, is serious news, ads, what have you, unless the customer chooses to insert something funny. |
| Date: 3.2.2008 Author: pamela wheat Hello, I just got my order and I found a little problem. I emailed you a main photo for my article ( man infront of NASDAQ tower) and an insert photo ( woman with arm raised). It seems the two are revirsed. The Man infront of tower is small= insert size and the woman is the larger main photo. Can you advise? Love the paper- everything else is just perfect! thanks- P.W. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: The image you submitted for the “main” image spot was “joke photo-jack.jpg” (see your form submission below). That photo was NOT in the requested aspect ratio (4×6 inches), but we placed it in the main image area anyway. Your “inset” photo was named “joke photo-dot.jpg” (see form submission below). Since your “main” image had no room in it whatsoever to set an inset photo, we placed your inset below it. Your main image was placed as the main image, and since there was no room to place the inset inside of the main image, we placed it below. The inset image was not a simple portrait, but was an image of a whole room full of people, and had it been reduced to the size of an inset, the main face in the picture would not have been even remotely visible (it would have been about the size of a pin-head). You uploaded the picture of the Nasdaq tower as the main image. You uploaded the image of the stock exchange as the inset. Are you saying that you wanted the stock exchange image reduced to about 1/2 inch by 1/2 inch so that it would fit into a blank area of the Nasdaq image? A snapshot of the area in question is located at this link: http://www.trixiepixgraphics.com/images/wheat.jpg Your IP Address: 65.54.98.104 Article Selection: C-00 CUSTOM Write Your Own Your First Name: Pamela Your Last Name: Wheat Email: pammyjinc@msn.com Date of Newspaper: Thursday, April 3, 2008 Newspaper Name: The Wall Street Journal Newspaper Headline: JACK SNYDER HITS THE BIG 8-0 WALL STREET CELEBRATES !!! Image Description: Jack Snyder on Wall Street after ringing closing bell. Article Headline: Wife Offers Trade For Two 40 Year Olds Byline: By- Pam Wheat Story Location: Waynesboro, PA Main Story Text: Long time Waynesboro business man John (Jack)S. Snyder has been invited to NASDAQ to ring the closing bell in honor of his 80th birthday. While there, his Wife Dorothy (Dot) was conducting some business of her own. ” I’ll trade this 80 in for two 40’s” she stated as she stood at the podium in front of a cheering group of business women. The day will certainly be a busy one for Snyder. It will start at Hardee’s Restaurant on Rt.16. There, he will enjoy his morning coffee with his pals Woody, Glen C., Glen B., Chauncy B., Singer, Marvin,and Bonnie. The discussion is sure to include current events and the exchange of several of their favorite jokes. From there, Jack will visit the local Y for a few laps in the pool. This year, the staff has requested that Jack wear his swim suit instead of his birthday suit which he showed off to them last year. After a few more errands, Jack will head on back to 11425 Pine Hill Drive where he will venture out to his patio overlooking the beautiful Blue Ridge Mountains and the 13th green on the Waynesboro Country Club golf course. While lounging, friendly Jack will be chatting it up with the passing golfers and inviting them over for a visit with him and his friend Jim Beam. Later in the evening, Jack and his lovely wife Dot will enjoy a delicious Lasagna dinner catered by PJ’s of Bridgeville, PA. As a boy, Jack attended Valley Forge Military School. He also studied at the Pittsburgh Institute of Mortuary Science and later became a funeral director. He spent his summers vacationing at his family’s cottage on Finley Lake. It is there that he met the love of his life Dorothy Arnink. The two enjoyed boating, swimming, and roller skating. They were married in October of 1950. The couple moved to Carnegie, a small suburban town in the Pittsburgh area, where Jack became an apprentice at the Bagnato Funeral Home. Shortly after their arrival, the Snyders met and became very dear friends of the Camaioni Family. Frank and Louise Camaioni accepted Jack as the son they never had and their daughter Joan remains the couples friend to this day. Jack often speaks of the good times he had in Carnegie, especially delivering folding chairs to Cubbage Hill residents, and giving his (alive) friends a ride in the hearse. When Jack would pass the Camaioni house, Frank would wave him in for a bite to eat and an occasional glass of Dago red. The Snyders later moved to Waynesboro PA where Jack opened the John S. Snyder Funeral Home located on Church Street. He retired in 1992. They still reside at their beautiful home in Country Club Estates and occasionally make a return trip back to Carnegie to visit their friends Joan (Chooch), Arleen, and Pammy. NASDAQ reports that many offers were made to Mrs. Snyder for her trade. She declined all. Main Image Upload: joke Photo- Jack.jpg Inset Image Upload: Joke Photo- dot.jpg Have You Included: YES What Size/Format: WHOLE ($39.95) (2 copies) <<— Standard Order I agree to check my email: YES Freeway Sign Text: Trophy Text: Valentine Message: I Agree Not to Use This: YES |
| Date: 3.2.2008 Author: lostnluv Sorry to be a pain, but are the ultrasounds printed on real paper as if they came from the doctor? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Pasted from the product page: “Personalized, of course, with Doctor’s name (no real names please), date, hospital (or clinic)(no real names please), patient’s name, probable gender and degree of probability (shown lower-right of ultrasound image). Printed on heavy, glossy card-stock.” |
| Date: 3.1.2008 Author: lostnluv If my credit card wont go through, would I be able to purchase a PREPAID VISA card and arder that way? As in a gift card with a Visa logo? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Those won’t usually work because there is no address verification with them. The customer need only say they didn’t receive the merchandise and VISA will give them their money back (taken straight from us). If you received a reason 27, you need only fix the address with your bank. If it’s a reason 2, you usually need only pay down a balance. You can also use our international ordering process, but it will cost you a few bucks more and is kind of a pain. |
| Date: 2.29.2008 Author: lostnluv Will my card be charged if the order was declined because of reason 27 and I STILL recieved emails about the information on my ultrasound but no order number? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: It depends on the policy of your card issuer. Some do, some don’t. Even if they do, they will generally release the holds within a few days. |
| Date: 2.28.2008 Author: htownzlilmama04 Thank you I see where i can choose the gender or whatever i want it to be but just wondering if i choose girl will it show the picture with the arrows and everything showing how they know it’s a girl instaed of a boy.. just wondering don’t mean to be a pain in the a-hole but just wanna know exactly what i’m buying first… thank you REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Please see product page. The images have not changed and won’t be changed. Neither will there be any arrows. |
| Date: 2.28.2008 Author: Gary Gowen I’m in need of some prop newspapers for a production of Millie, which is set in 1922. I have a copy of what was used for a previous production. Can you reproduce this or produce on with a period look with my text? Thank you REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We have a number of era-specific templates. The closest we can get to 1922 would be probably the 1910 setup. We automatically use whatever template is closest (but not later than) the date that is supplied on the personalization form. |
| Date: 2.28.2008 Author: htownzlilmama04 Hey I was just wondering in how long ya’ll would have the gender ultrasounds I really really want one just showing its a girl if you could just make me one I wanna buy one A.S.A.P. I’ll pay extra if I must please let me know asap please please please… thank you REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Please check the product page (specifically, the form). They are already available. |
| Date: 2.27.2008 Author: Kim Zitny Hello, Per your response, I am supplying an alternative shipping address. Please send my giant crossword to: Kim Zitny 621 Heron Way Oxford, Michigan 48371 Hope this one works. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We’re sorry, but USPS has rejected this as having an invalid zip code. We really do not have any more time to invest in this. Please supply us with a valid and accurate shipping address. REPLY FROM CUSTOMER: From: Kimberly C. Zitny [mailto:kzitny@eisbrenner.com] Sent: Monday, March 03, 2008 2:32 PM Subject: RE: Giant Crossword Submission That’s surprising, since it’s my home address, and USPS doesn’t seem to have any problem delivering my bills every day. It is completely accurate and correct, as was the previous address I provided you with. Interesting response, you don’t have time to invest in customer service? Eisbrenner Public Relations 2950 West Square Lake Road Suite 100 Troy, Michigan 48098 Kim Zitny, ABC Vice President Eisbrenner Public Relations | 2950 W. Square Lake Road, Suite 100 | Troy, MI 48098 P 248-641-1446 | F 248-641-1445 | E kzitny@eisbrenner.com REPLY from TrixiePixGraphics: We found your response, containing the second invalid address, to be equally interesting. Ma’am, you’ve now given us two different addresses, neither of which are acceptable to the USPS database. We have offered to correct your address problem at our expense, but we now regret that kind offer. Yes, we are out of time on this. You’re free to go to the USPS website and use their Click-and-Ship database to try to mail something to yourself, then note the error. We’re shipping now to your third address. This concludes our interaction. |
| Date: 2.27.2008 Author: Wolf When I placed my order I am sure I clicked the new newspaper option not the yellow newspaper option. When I received my e-mail it says “yellow newspaper?”. Do I need to re-order to get the right style? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Your newspaper is not the “old and yellow” style. The shopping cart automatically generates some text in the order form that can be confusing. We’re not entirely happy with this cart (SNS) but we’re working with the company to straighten out little bugs like this when they appear. You did order the right thing, and you’ll receive the non-yellow paper. Sorry for the confusion. Programmers sometimes (often?) suck. |
| Date: 2.25.2008 Author: htownzlilmama04 Hey i was just wonderind will you ever get the fake ultrasounds showing gender i think it would be really… me and my husband are expecting our first baby and he has his mind set on having a boy i wanted to play a prank on him and show him that it was a girl can you help me out with this please .. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We’ll offer those on the product page within just a few days. Thanks! |
| Date: 2.25.2008 Author: Kim Zitny Hi, I was starting to be worried about my order, because it was placed on Feb. 8, and now I just received an e-mail notification (from USPS) that my package was not deliverable as addressed. I’ve double checked the address I provided to you, and it is correct. Can you confirm that my order has been returned to you, and perhaps the shipping label was filled out incorrectly? We’ve been looking forward to getting our big crossword puzzle. Thank you. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We can well imagine you’d be anxious for your giant crossword puzzle. A lot of work goes into creating those on your end and on ours. You should have had it long before now. We see that USPS didn’t send it back until 2-23. We would expect to have it back this week. Regarding the address, the address you see on the USPS tracking site is the exact address that appears on the shipping label. It is one and the same. The labels are created online, and the only address that would appear in the tracking data is the address on the label. When we shipped through UPS (UPS SUCKS) we ran into this about one out of every 40 shipments. Now that we’ve switched to USPS, we see it in about 1 out of 400 cases. To us, though, that’s still totally unacceptable. In any case, we presume this will show up back here within a few days. Normally we direct the customer to use our “Ship it Again” link which costs them about $14. But in this case, we can see that when we entered your address into the USPS computer, it was validated and accepted as a valid address by the USPS system — Your address is in the USPS database and has no problems associated with it. That means it’s NOT your fault, nor is it ours, it’s the fault of USPS. That being the case, as soon as this arrives, we’ll be ready to ship it back out at no cost. But since your real address didn’t work this time (for whatever reason), we will need an alternate address to ship it to next time. Please supply one (friend, relative, neighbor, etc.). We apologize on behalf of our sometimes incompetent mail system. It makes us angry from time to time. But when we compare it to Switzerland, who loses about one in five of our shipments to that country, we figure the USPS is not so bad. Still, we wonder how things like this can happen. We suggest having a talk with your carrier, and also with your local postmaster to find out why this happened, because if it happened once, it can and will happen again. If you have not heard from us by the end of this week, please contact us again. If we have not received your item back by then we’ll create a new one. We will still, however, need an alternate address to ship it to. |
| Date: 2.22.2008 Author: Marc Date: 2.19.2008 Author: Marc Hello, Question before I order: How much more would it cost to add an inner page inside the “whole newspaper” order? This inner page would have the format of the “full page ad” that is sometimes purchased from real newspapers by individuals or organizations. Thank you Marc REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: All “whole” size orders come with a second sheet as a filler, so you end up with a total of eight pages. The only exception is with era-specific templates, in which cases you get only the one sheet (four pages). The inside sheets are a combination of ads, articles, filler, etc. Again, the filler sheets are four pages each. Marc’s REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Thank you for the information. Would I be able to order a customized full page ad within the filler pages that are inside? So the order would end up being the customized story on the front page and then a customized full page ad inside. Thank you REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We could do that, but since we have no templates for that, and could not justify creating one for a single order, you would have to create your content in the layout prog of your choice, then export it as a graphic (bitmap) file (jpg is best); we would then lay that onto one of the filler pages and print a special run of the filler pages (which are normally printed in huge lots, once or twice per year). This is not a great deal of trouble, but is certainly “some” trouble, so we would charge the regular price of this product, plus $10 per page to special-print the fillers. |
| Date: 2.21.2008 Author: Melissa how can i get thsi shipped to canada? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: At this time you can’t. Rampant fraud caused us to shut down all sales outside the US for the last 6 months or so. We now have a system in place to allow International sales again — we just need the time to create the interface in our checkout system. Unfortunately we’ve been completely swamped lately, but we hope to have it accessible within the next few days. It will be expensive and irritating, but until credit card companies and banks outside the US get their acts together with regard to worldwide sales, it’s the only thing we have. |
| Date: 2.20.2008 Author: Amy You are the man. it owrked. Thank you. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Actually a WO-man was responsible, but she’s kind of a tomboy. |
| Date: 2.20.2008 Author: Amy I did a fake order for C-1 Base Jumoer and that went through with no problem. I went back to write my own and it still will not let me. The exact URL is http://www.trixiepixgraphics.com/newspapers/write_custom.html Thanks. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We’ve done a bunch of testing on the form and cannot get it to mess up in any way, and orders have come through it all day. We did delete the form and re-upload it and reset it, so there’s a chance that will work. If not, we really don’t have anything further to offer except to use a different computer for that transaction. |
| Date: 2.20.2008 Author: Amy OK, but what the hell is a URL? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: It’s an exact address of any page anywhere in the world on the WWW (Internet). For instance, the URL of this help page is: http://www.trixiepixgraphics.com/cgi-bin/csGuest/ Or the URL of our home page is: http://www.trixiepixgraphics.com/ When you are actually seeing the page that’s giving you grief, the URL will normally appear near the top of your browser in a little window and will usually start with “http:” We need to know EXACTLY which page is the offender so we can go to it and only it. In the meantime, could you try any other product page (not a newspaper) just to see if you can get any other form to submit? We continue to receive orders for all types of newspapers from other customers so the problem would “seem” to be on your end, but we’ll go and check the page anyway to be sure, as soon as we know exactly which page you were on. Always remember: Computers suck. |
| Date: 2.20.2008 Author: Amy OK, you answered me on the 17th (I think), and I did everything you told me to, but I still can not send me order through. If they werent computer nerds at my job I would be able to do it from there, but they are so I cant….I pretty much have no alternatives at this point. Before I go crazy, I need 3 orders of the small size (30 in all) by March 8th..is that even possible? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Your deadline is easy. Even if you don’t pay for “RUSH” handling, all orders go out within 72 hours — then figure (usually) 3 days to destination. As for the form, ok, please supply the exact url of the page and we’ll go beat it into submission. |
| Date: 2.20.2008 Author: Katherine Are all fake magazines $120? If I ordered several, would you give a discount? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: If they were all identical we might consider a small (small) discount. Actually, having just said that, we’re going to take it back. We really hate this product! It’s incredibly time consuming and often beyond irritating to produce. We pray every day that no one orders this and we cringe when they do. We continue to offer it because it’s very, very cool and because we love the end result, which is actually pretty spectacular. But we will probably soon raise the price anyway as we barely make any money on these given the time required to manufacture them. |
| Date: 2.20.2008 Author: Andrea I apologize for not thinking of the easy solution myself! That’s an idea though… the new inventive way to collect various debts from friends & family…. “hey I need you to order this… and then mail it to me!” Haha… I win afterall! Seriously, though, sorry for asking a not-completely-thought-all-the-way-through question. Your site is the coolest thing I’ve stumbled across in a while. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Thanks. The two bucks we paid you for the compliment was worth it! Within a week or so we’ll have a new payment option in which customers overseas can pay by wire transfer — then we’re willing to ship to absolutely any address they want. Only problem is, there can be wire transfer fees. |
| Date: 2.19.2008 Author: Andrea Hello, My billing address is for Washington State, however I am currently deployed to Iraq. My shipping address is an APO AE. I would like to order some of your very fun products, however it would be futile if I could not receive said fun products for the remaining 179 of my deployment. I know you said exceptions were rarely made for long time customers, but how about exceptions for deployed American citizens? Thank You REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Were we to make an exception for anyone it would be for people deployed. But most deployed persons have a friend or relative in the US order, then forward the product on to you. We will ship to ANY address in the US as long as it’s the registered address on the card you use. |
| Date: 2.19.2008 Author: Marc Hello, Question before I order: How much more would it cost to add an inner page inside the “whole newspaper” order? This inner page would have the format of the “full page ad” that is sometimes purchased from real newspapers by individuals or organizations. Thank you Marc REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: All “whole” size orders come with a second sheet as a filler, so you end up with a total of eight pages. The only exception is with era-specific templates, in which cases you get only the one sheet (four pages). The inside sheets are a combination of ads, articles, filler, etc. Again, the filler sheets are four pages each. |
| Date: 2.19.2008 Author: Jeff Shaevel I’m directing a production of Agatha Christie’s “The Hollow” and am trying to get reasonable facsimiles of early 1950’s London-area newspapers as props. They don’t need to be “content accurate” for the days shown, but should be appropriate to the various papers’ layout and general style. Would that be something you are able to help with? Sincerely, Jeff Shaevel Way Off Broadway Community Players P.S. FANTASTIC website! REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Thanks! We have numerous templates that are more or less era-specific. There’s one for the 1939 period, + or -, say, ten years. It’s just generic for that time period. Would that work? Otherwise, you may always make your own pages from scratch and send them to us for printing. |
| Date: 2.19.2008 Author: Dave Invoice Number: 6528 Order Number: 47629665 I ordered the Poster Size rush delivery and received two copies of a newspaper instead. The article looks great but we really need the poster. How long will it take to receive the poster size? Our event is at the start of next week. Please advise. Thanks. Dave REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We’re looking into this now and will reply again within 12 hours. Assuming this is our fault we’ll ship a new product on Wednesday with our profound apologies. UPDATE: AAAAARRRRRGGGGG!!!!! Yep– it’s our fault. We are truly too stupid to live and we apologize for the inconvenience. The employee responsible is being flogged at this moment. We’ll probably hit her with the cattle prod for awhile this evening as well, just for good measure. This will ship (as a poster size this time) on Wednesday by Overnight. Jeeze we hate it when this happens. |
| Date: 2.19.2008 Author: Charlie Ok, thanks. How do we go about it? Is pay pal an option? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: No, Paypal is not an option. As stated previously, this system will be implemented sometime over the next week. It will be a wire-transfer system. It will be available when you see a notification for it on our home page. |
| Date: 2.18.2008 Author: Charlie Abu Dhabi Hi, I wonder if you can help. We are currently putting on the Mousetrap and need a newspaper for the show. I read that if you are sending something sensitive you will only send to the billing address, however we have recently set up a POBox in the states as we live overseas and the post has been known to take a while. Would it be possible to send this item to that address rather than the billing address. Thanks for your help REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Sorry. But we’ll be accepting International orders again via wire transfer within the next week, if that helps. Orders will ship via Global Priority and usually cross the Atlantic in 3-5 days, barring any weirdness from Customs. |
| Date: 2.18.2008 Author: Kelli I was wondering if you guys did fake miscarriage papers? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: No. Never. |
| Date: 2.17.2008 Author: Amy Your answers are hysterical. Anyway I go through the whole w”Write your own” from, hit submit, it appears it is going through but I am never prompted to go to the Continue page. When I go to the checkout cart, there is nothing in there. I have no idea what the hell I am doing wrong. Am I the idiot? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: No, you’re not the idiot. Programmers are the idiots, almost to a (wo)man. Shakespeare wrote, “Kill all the lawyers”. We say, “Kill all the programmers”. When you submit a form, several things can delay it or otherwise screw it up. Sometimes a connection is slow and/or in the process of failing. Sometimes a bit can get stuck in your browser’s cache, especially with Microsoft, not so much with Netscape, and seldom with Mozilla incarnations. If this is the case, shutting down the browser and restarting it will usually cure it. Or even rebooting the computer, especially if it’s a Windows machine (almost never if it’s a Linux system, but still fairly often if it’s a Mac). Clearing the cache in a browser will often or usually help as well — instructions are different depending on the browser. Also, a common problem is large image attachments. Pics need not usually be over, say, 100-200K, yet often customers try to upload some ten meg monstrosity. Our forms will actually handle those, provided the customer is willing to sit and wait. Unfortunately, we’ve found no form that RELIABLY shows the progress of an upload, so we’ve opted for a form which doesn’t even try to show the progress. Your browser may or may not attempt this seemingly simple feat using a progress bar somewhere around the bottom of the window. If you’ve attached no images to whatever form you’re trying to submit, then the problem lies in the browser, the cache, etc. If you have attached an image, check the size of the image, and note your connection speed. If you’re on dial-up you’ll physically age noticably before your image gets uploaded, almost regardless of its size. If you’re on a broadband link, even ten megs should go pretty quickly — say less than two minutes. Does any of this help? Also remember that you can test any form by just typing a few characters of gibberish into each field that does not already have something in it. The only fields that won’t accept gibberish are the email fields, which require a proper email format. We never see the test forms, so test away — saves the irritation of carefully typing in all your data only to have it GLITCH on you. Obviously you don’t get charged for anything until several pages ahead, when you input your credit card data. So many people think they’re getting charged even before they’ve input their credit card number. Too bad we aren’t that bloody magical. |
| Date: 2.17.2008 Author: sha i wasnt sure if my order was being processed i wanted to make a correction to my order so will i have to re submit and go through the payment process gain? because i only wanted the location to be changed to stony brook REPLY (again): Your question was answered yesterday in this forum. We also sent you a direct email with the answer yesterday. You also received an email from our credit card processor documenting your refund when your order was cancelled along with an explanation. In fact, the answer to your question has been posted right here on this page for many years. You may merely scroll up this page to read the answer regarding submitting updates or corrections. We’re sorry you have chosen not to read our answers. We do not have time for this. If you are not willing to read our answers, please don’t ask us questions. We are copying the answer to your question from a few inches above this window, and pasting it in RIGHT HERE: I placed my order, but now I realize I made a mistake. Can I email you with a correction or update? Please? Just this once?? Nein. Nyet. Nos. Nay. In a word…….NO! As directed a hundred times all through this website and even on the personalization forms themselves, you must SUBMIT A NEW FORM. Just submit the form — do NOT continue through the payment process again. |
| Date: 2.17.2008 Author: jemma Thank you for your reply last night. I have looked up the AVS system and apparently it only recognises US billed cards. So wouldn’t be able to order through the website anyway. Over here our address verification system is called Protx and it offers a 3d secure page which allows you to tell it is the card holder using the card by asking security questions such as date of birth. It might be worth you guys looking into this it works really well. Anyway to stop going around in circles, I need one of these certificates for a party next weekend. We cannot get anything like these in the UK. So I propose that to enable me to get the certificates and to make the transaction worthwhile for you, how about I wire you $100 dollars on Monday by Western Union or Bank Transfer. You get the cash straight up, double your profit and I get something that I can’t get from the UK. Let me know what you think. I am not a fraudster and can fully appreciate the situation you are in with regards to people pulling a fast one. I believe you have my telephone number if you wish to get hold of me. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Our new bank account for wire transfers was set up last week. Although the bank managed to screw up some aspects of it which prevent us from using it as it was intended until they straighten it out, they assure us that it’s ready to accept wire transfers. Here’s the info you need to supply to your bank. Your bank will likely charge you a ridiculous fee for outgoing wire transfers, as ours does us for incoming. For the benefit of the budding little fraudsters around the world who are reading this: feel free to bang away at this account all you like; it contains no funds and never will. SWISS CODE: KEY BUS 33 Account Number: 51434731 — 472825006779 Registered Business: TrixiePixGraphics.com This will be posted publicly on a separate page for International orders once we’ve had time to set it all up. Once we receive your funds (we don’t know how long it takes since this is the first transaction to go through this Swiss-Code account), we will immediately ship out your product. Since time is critical to you, this will ship via Global Express, not Global Priority. We’ll be at our bank on Monday morning calling them names, as is often necessary, and since you’re some hours ahead of us, perhaps the funds will be there even then. If so, we’ll ship at that moment. From you we need your shipping address, and a completed form for the product you want. Normally all forms we receive that are not accompanied by payment are automatically deleted and we never see them. In this case we’ll manually watch for yours and snatch it out of the system. When you supply your shipping address to this forum we’ll manually delete it from public view. Any other questions? Please let us know. Date: 2.16.2008 Author: jemma Not a problem at all. Small issue with order, it will not go through for ‘Reason 27’ even when I have typed it exactly as it appears on the credit card statement. I can only assume this is because your use a fraud check thing like Protx which looks at the 1st line of the address and postcode and because it is a UK address is just rejecting it. We used to have the same problem in reverse with USA billing addresses at work. Is there any way you could possibly check the settings to see if the UK check is enabled or do you have the 3d secure page check? If you could just check this that would be great to save me trying another card when this one has been registered at the address I entered since we got it. Sorry to be a pain. Thanks again, REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: It could be that even though you’re using the correct address, your card issuer or bank is not honoring the AVS system, and our card processer then sees the address (blanks, in your case) as a mismatch. That there is no way to force overseas banks to use the AVS system is one of the reasons we curtailed overseas orders using credit cards. One would think the financial institutions would figure this out, but alas….. To circumvent this we’d have to change settings at the core of our fraud-prevention sys and we’re not willing to do that. We may just be out of luck on this order. Sorry. Date: 2.16.2008 Author: jemma Fantastic service!! Thank you very much. Is there anyway that you could possible FedEx it to me to speed up delivery? Or allow me, to arrange a courier collection from yourself? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Any time we deviate from our tried-and-proven procedures, things have an uncanny propensity for screwing up. For a $17 sale, which ultimately nets us about $9, we’re just not willing to do these things. Sorry. For instance, the shopping cart automatically charges shipping. We would have to go back into the transaction and refund the shipping. When we ship overseas by ANY carrier other than government, “WE” are left liable for duty fees and taxes, and overseas goverments can be quite creative in imposing these even months after the fact. Sorry again, but we’re just not going to go there. NOTE: We just saw your transaction attempt come through. It was rejected automatically for “REASON 27”. There is an explanation of this higher up on this page.Date: 2.16.2008 Author: jemma Thank you for your prompt response. I’m glad to hear that you are willing to ship aboard again. As this certificate is required urgently, would you kindly allow me to wire the money to you using a money transfer system such as Western Union where you have instant access to the cash? I think I may even be able to pay cash into a bank account anywhere in the world here now, since we have so many foreigners living here it’s almost common practice to transfer money abroad!!! I don’t mind paying to do this, then you will have a guarantee that you are not dealing with someone who will issue a chargeback just for the sake of it. If you were to except this method of payment, is there any chance that you could possibly get this to me by the end of the week? Again, as it is my request I will of course pay any additional courier costs incurred for this. Thank you again for your help. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We’ve reactivated the portion of our regular shopping cart that handles orders from England/UK. We’ll leave it turned on until we switch over to the wire transfer system next week. To order, just do so using the normal interface. Hopefully you won’t hit a glitch, as this system has been turned off for many months. Perhaps the God of Camels will smile upon us and it will restart without any problems. Anything ordered today or early Sunday will ship on Monday by Global Priority. That almost always arrives in the UK within 5 days. Read: ALMOST always. Date: 2.16.2008 Author: jemma Hope you can help… I know that you guys say that you currently cannot ship overseas, but I really really need to get a marriage certificate to wind up a close friend. We are not able to get anything in the UK that even resembles a genuine certificate. I am happy to give you the billing address for my card and even have it delivered to my work address so you are able to ensure I am a genuine customer. Or alternatively can I provide you with my correct billing address in the UK and have it delivered to some sort of mail forwarding company in the USA? I would really appreciate your help with this even if I have to pay more. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: As it happens, we have just found a way to open up International sales again. We’re waiting for the bank nonsense to get set up at this time. We expect to have it available by the end of the week. It will require that the customer initiate a wire transfer from their country. It’s a pain, it’s expensive, and we hate it overall, but it is the ONLY way we can find that will ensure that we get paid from International customers. Hope that helps. Watch for a notice on our home page that says something like “International Orders Shipping Again!” Honestly, we don’t find a higher number of fraudsters per capita overseas, it’s just that in the US we can deal with them in a variety of fruitful ways. Overseas they usually slip away.Date: 2.16.2008 Author: SHA I ALSO WOULD LIKE TO KNOW IF I CAN MAKE AN QUICK CORRECTION ON MY ITEM IM PRETTY SURE IT DIDNT GET PROCESSED OR SENT OUT I JUST DID IT NO LESS THAN 5 MINS AGO…? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Just submit a new personalization form. Do NOT continue through the payment process after submitting the form. If we have not received your update by the time this order comes up in the queue for processing (probably Saturday night), the order will be cancelled, you will be notified of that, and you will have to re-order from scratch. In this case you will see a credit on your card in usually 1-3 days. Update: We waited for your correction but did not receive it. Your order has been cancelled on 2-17-08.Date: 2.16.2008 Author: SHA JUST WONDERING IF YOU HAVE AN ARTICLE ON FAKE ABORTION PAPERS SO I CAN GET THE ATTENTION I NEED….BREAKFAST IN BED FOOT MASSAGES AND LONG BACK RUBS.DINNER ON THE TABLE AND ALL THE GOOD STUFF FOR ONCE.SYMPATHY.L.O.L REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Don’t offer them; never will.Date: 2.14.2008 Author: Jessica Jessica Sanechick1987@aol.com 423-244-1263 Lebanon, Tn Im sorry but I didn’t see anything or read anything about money being credited back to my account. And my mastercard is still showing no credits.. I am just trying to understand what is going on. Not trying to be mean or rude. Thanks. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: This is, what — your third, fourth inquiry into this? We’re sorry, but we’ve reached our limit. You had to scroll past the answer every single time you posed this question. Even when we told you where to find the answer, you scrolled past it AGAIN to ask the question AGAIN! We’re now going to actually copy and paste the answer, which is printed just above this box, into this reply. If you STILL can’t get it together to read it — you know, READING — that thing that makes your brain hurt so badly…? –Then you’re out of luck because we will not respond to you one more time. God knows we TRY to be patient, but this is beyond the pale. Once again, for the VERY last time, here is your answer: Question: You charged my card once, twice (or thrice) even though my order was declined! What kind of rip-off bastards are you, anyway?! REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Even in the case of a cancelled order, YOUR BANK will still often reserve the funds that would have gone to pay for your order. This is the policy of YOUR BANK, and we have no control over it. Your bank will usually clear those funds within a few days. Please do NOT email us to ask why we charged your card, when the order was cancelled. We have NOT charged your card in this instance. It is the policy of YOUR BANK, and we frankly feel it’s ridiculous. Now. Truly. That’s enough. We have blocked you from ordering from us ever again. Cease and desist. That’s enough. This is the end. Fini. Good bye. So long!Date: 2.14.2008 Author: Jessica Hi, I purchased the fake ultrasound last night, just one order, and I had a problem with my credit card today, they told me I was charged three times last night, when I just ordered 1. So I would like my credit card credited for the 2 orders, that I did not order. I just need the one. Please let me know when this is done. Thanks for everything. Blessings. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: This question was answered below in your first inquiry. Since the answer to this question appears on this page already, there was no need to ask this question once, let alone twice.Date: 2.14.2008 Author: Jessica Melchor Hey, I order just one of the fake ultrasounds, and my credit card got charged for three. I don’t know how this happened, but I was on the phone with the credit card company today forever. I just wanted one. Can you please credit my card for the two I didn’t want. I just need one order, Not three. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: You order for ONE (1) has processed. Re your card being charged for transactions that did not go through, the answer is already posted on this page, right above this section. Please read those answers before posting questions.Date: 2.14.2008 Author: mick hello again, fair enough about he small paper. What I want is a fake newspaper as a present. I have written some articles, got photos and put together things like a crossword. I do not have enough to make a whole newspaper but maybe somthing small. I know you said it is not feasible to make a small paper but I was wondering if you could think of another option or know of somwhere that could make such a thing? or can I buy the blank paper from you and try to make it myself? would it work with a normal printer? thankyou for your help REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Running newsprint through, say, a regular inkjet or laser will make you crazy. Printers refer to newsprint as “tissue”, because that’s how it acts when it gets ink on it. The only solution we can think of is to design your own page from scratch, including anything and everything you want on it. We print a customer’s own page or pages all the time. Same price either way. Just look at the dimensions of our sheets (there’s a link to that detailed info on our home page) and arrange your stuff in the layout program of your choice, then, when done, export or save it as a bitmap (like a jpg image — minimum dpi at print size is 150). Send us that through one of the forms, then immediately let us know what you’ve done using this interface, and we’ll coordinate with you to be sure we print it on the page of your choice (front, back). On a “whole” size you can print on the front, or headline page, or the back page. On the “full” size, which has no headline, you can only print on the front side of it. Same with the small size.Date: 2.14.2008 Author: mick can you print a normal newspaper that is smaller, roughly 8 x 6, and say 8 sides? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We certainly “can” do it, but it would not be cost-effective for a single order. We would have to see a potential for at least many hundreds over time. Sorry.Date: 2.13.2008 Author: Brittany Williams I just wanted to know if there was any way to check the process of my order? Can you tell me if it has left your warehouse? Has it been shipped/processed? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Shipped. For future reference please read our “About Shipping” page.Date: 2.11.2008 Author: Bob What happened to the Crown Hill web cam? How will I know if the Walgreen’s is open? Thanks for all the fun over the years. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: AH! A government man (or a bus rider?)! We relocated to a temporary warehouse in preparation of moving overseas. Maybe we’ll start it again from New Zealand. We’ll call it the Koala-Cam. Thanks!Date: 2.7.2008 Author: denyse Date: 2.7.2008 IP: 72.51.203.203 Author: denyse Name : amber Phone : 6068727598 City or Town : somerset I ordered the FAKE DNA test and the name is completely messed up. It was supposed to have the FETUS for one of the donors and it actually has two names. It is a valentines surprise gift. can it be replaced and mailed to me by feb 13 please. I will give you the names of the donors… Donor A: Tyler Robertson Donor B: Fetus I need it replaced as soon as possible REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We’ve pasted in your actual form submission below. You will have a hard copy of this assuming you printed it out when the system prompted you to do so, and you were also emailed a second copy. We have grown pretty sensitive to customers trying to make these problems look as though they’re our fault when they are not. You’re free to order again supplying any name-set you choose, but this order was printed EXACTLY as you supplied it: The following information has been submitted on 02-02-2008 00:35:10 by 65.240.174.3: Customer’s First Name Amber Customer’s Last Name Turner Email: adturner29@hotmail.com Name of Donor 1 Tyler Gray Robertson Name of Donor 2 Ali Azam Farooqui I Agree Not to Use This Product for Illegal and/or Fraudulent Purposes Yes Verify Authentication Code: 38175 Date: 2.6.2008 Author: Kola Hello, I tried contacting you today but I believe I gave you the wrong order number. I am a college student and I ordered a valentine newspaper to be delivered where I go to school which is different from my billing address where I started my card services. However, I was informed that you are shipping to my billing address and I will not be able to receive the newspaper in time because of this. I was inquiring if it is possible for you to ship the newspaper to my shipping address which I listed. I understand your concern about fraud and I read the statement. However, It said this was the precaution for high fraud items. Either way I would appreciate it if you could ship this package to my shipping address and if not I would like a refund. Also if it is really a problem maybe I can transfer the order to a different card that I began in Baltimore, it is just not convenient for me b/c of the credit limit and rate on this other card. Thank you in advance for your timely response REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Given the content of the order, we’re willing to ship it to your listed shipping address. It will go out today.Date: 2.6.2008 Author: Kola I am sorry this is concerning my previous comment. If you are not able to ship to my school address which I listed. I think it might help you to transfer my order to a card that I have that has the same shipping and billing address. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: See reply to your third inquiry, above.Date: 2.6.2008 Author: Kola I am a college student and I made an order yesterday and I asked for it to be shipped to my school location however, it was shipped to my billing address. I need this item shortly before valentine and I have no one to ship me this product before then. I am asking you to ship this order to my school address so I can get it asap. If not my order will be useless and I would like to get a refund. I hope to hear from you in a timely manner and I like to thank you in advance for your response. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: See reply to your third inquiry, above. If you had asked us to ship to an alternate address that request would be visible right here in these pages. No such request was made.Date: 2.4.2008 Author: steve Something is wrong with what you sent me. I did not resubmit every minute! There is oviously a mistake. please send me my order. i paid for it already. How do i pay for it again without retyping the whole thing (for a forth time?) Do i have to pay shipping again? By the way. I did print and save my original order as your prompt sugested. I will be happy to send it to you. Can we please just complete this order. Thanks REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: The 13 forms were not submitted by aliens or ghosts. Every time you click SUBMIT on a form a strange and wonderful thing happens: The form is SUBMITTED. The server logs show every keystroke you typed, including THIRTEEN SUBMITS! In point of FACT, no, in FACT, you have NOT paid for this order because it was REFUNDED to you when you refused to complete a new form (see below, in writing) and you were notified of that refund by the shopping cart company several hours ago. No, we do not want your original order — you re-sent it an hour ago and we replied and acknowledged receipt (see below!!!). Why, then, would we want your original order!? To PAY for this order please go to the product page, type any kind of random characters into the form (the email field requires a valid email address but all other fields will accept anything), click submit, click CONTINUE, and go through the payment process. Yes, you will initially have to pay shipping a second time. We will credit back the shipping charge when we process the transaction later tonight. We’re sure you understand that no order from you will be honored in the future. We await payment. Your order will be shipped immediately. You will be required to sign for that order. That will conclude our business forever.Date: 2.4.2008 Author: steve I just resubmited article. Please let me know that you have it and can comlete my order. Thank You. Steve REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We do have your form. Per the message below, please understand that you have already been refunded for the missing article. Please go through the payment process to pay for this new order.Date: 2.4.2008 Author: steve I did not change and resend at all (In the initial order). I DID resend the missing article (once) when I was told to do so. I can not imagine what the problem is. I ordered 3 articles that have minor variations. Together they make a magic trick. The two pieces of the trick do not help me without the third. If you do not want to complete my order, I will need a refund for the whole thing. So, do not refund me. I will resend again REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: You have already been refunded. If you place another order you must continue through the payment process. We are not refusing to fill your order. You stated in your previous messagew that you would not re-submit the required form. This is precisely why we refuse to do business by phone. We want a written record of every interaction. Re your comment that you did not submit multiple corrections or changes on the original order, we call your attention to the list below (11 corrections — 2 printed subs not shown): 1-23, 6:38 p.m. Your IP Address: 64.252.163.222 Article Selection: C-00 CUSTOM Write Your Own Your First Name: steve Your Last Name: gibson Email: steven-gibson@sbcglobal.net 1-23, 6:41 p.m. Your IP Address: 64.252.163.222 Article Selection: C-00 CUSTOM Write Your Own Your First Name: steve Your Last Name: gibson Email: steven-gibson@sbcglobal.net 1-23, 6:42 p.m. Your IP Address: 64.252.163.222 Article Selection: C-00 CUSTOM Write Your Own Your First Name: steve Your Last Name: gibson Email: steven-gibson@sbcglobal.net 1-23, 6:43 p.m. Your IP Address: 64.252.163.222 Article Selection: C-00 CUSTOM Write Your Own Your First Name: steve Your Last Name: gibson Email: steven-gibson@sbcglobal.net 1-23, 6:43 p.m. Your IP Address: 64.252.163.222 Article Selection: C-00 CUSTOM Write Your Own Your First Name: steve Your Last Name: gibson Email: steven-gibson@sbcglobal.net 1-23, 6:58 p.m. Your IP Address: 64.252.163.222 Article Selection: C-00 CUSTOM Write Your Own Your First Name: steve Your Last Name: gibson Email: steven-gibson@sbcglobal.net 1-23, 6:59 p.m. Your IP Address: 64.252.163.222 Article Selection: C-00 CUSTOM Write Your Own Your First Name: steve Your Last Name: gibson Email: steven-gibson@sbcglobal.net 1-23, 7:14 p.m. Your IP Address: 64.252.163.222 Article Selection: C-00 CUSTOM Write Your Own Your First Name: steve Your Last Name: gibson Email: steven-gibson@sbcglobal.net 1-23, 7:17 p.m. Your IP Address: 64.252.163.222 Article Selection: C-00 CUSTOM Write Your Own Your First Name: steve Your Last Name: gibson Email: steven-gibson@sbcglobal.net 1-23, 7:24 p.m. Your IP Address: 64.252.163.222 Article Selection: C-00 CUSTOM Write Your Own Your First Name: steve Your Last Name: gibson Email: steven-gibson@sbcglobal.net 1-23, 7:44 p.m. Your IP Address: 64.252.163.222 Article Selection: C-00 CUSTOM Write Your Own Your First Name: steve Your Last Name: gibson Email: steven-gibson@sbcglobal.net Date: 2.4.2008 Author: steve I resent it to you last week. I really don’t want to retype it a third time. Do you have my original order? I did print a copy and could mail it to you. Please Email me your address and I will send the printed copy if you can not find the original or resent copies. Thanks REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Not only do we have your original submission, we have a whopping 13 variations of it. This is what caused the initial confusion. We have NO form submissions after 1-23-08 under the name of Gibson. Did you use the name “Gibson” when completing the form? We’ve even gone into the server logs to see if there was any recorded activity (a form that failed to go through, for instance) using the name of Gibson. Again, there is no record of anything. -Absolutely nothing under the name of Gibson. If you’re unwilling to re-type and send the form, we can’t help you. We are refunding for the portion of the order that you did not receive. Please keep the extra 10 copies that we did send with your original order. You will see the credit to your card in the next 1-5 days. We are increasingly reluctant to process orders which are updated and changed at all — but especially 10 or 13 times. We will likely suspend the option to make changes to any order after it has been submitted, due to problems like this.Date: 2.4.2008 Author: steve Has my relacement order been shipped? Thank yoy. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We are still waiting for your form submission. We have received NO submission under the name of Gibson. We just checked again this minute. As we indicated in reply to your last inquiry, you must complete a form for the article you want. Do NOT continue through the payment process. Merely submit the form. We are unable to print or ship anything until you complete the form and submit it. We can do nothing but await your form.Date: 2.3.2008 Author: Amy Hi, I ordered the big check — dry erase — a couple of times and have not received my order. I don’t have an order number just the email message below: Received 12-28-2007 Thank you for your submission. DO NOT REPLY TO THIS EMAIL Please Save This for Your Records Replies to This Email Will Not be Recieved or Read Customer’s First Name Amy Customer’s Last Name Buttery Email: ggggggggg@YAHOO.COM Name and Address (as it will appear on the check) San Manuel Rotary Club San Manuel, AZ Check Number Bank Identifyer (e.g. 19-57/1250) 12345/ Bank Name and Address (as it will appear on the check) Bank of the West San Manuel, AZ Bank Routing Number (9 digits starting with 1, 2 or 3) 123456789 Account Number (6 digits or more) 123 Date of Check (optional) Pay to the Order of (optional) Amount of Check (optional) For (optional) Check Color White (no background) Upload Your Logo (optional) large logo.bmp I understand I must check email within 12-24 hrs after placing this order in case there is a question concerning my order Yes I understand that I must submit a NEW FORM to make corrections or updates Yes I understand that I may NOT email corrections or updates Yes Print on Semi-Gloss Photo or True Dry-Erase True Dry Erase REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Yes, we do have a record of both of your completed giant checks forms here, dated last year. Unfortunately, simply filling out and submitting a form does not purchase a product. After submitting the form you’re taken to a page upon which you will see a huge (HUGE) link that says CONTINUE. You must click the CONTINUE link in order to CONTINUE through the payment process. Forms that are submitted without the accompanying and required PAYMENT are not filled, printed or shipped. We would quickly go broke were we to do that. We only fill orders that are paid for. Forms not accompanied by payment are automatically deleted and are never seen by a human. To place your order follow these steps: Complete a form for the product you wish to purchase. Click SUBMIT to submit the form. On the new page, please follow the instructions to print that page for your records (it shows what you submitted on the form). Then click CONTINUE, and continue on through the payment section. Just follow the prompts and fill in whatever info the payment process calls for. Date: 2.2.2008 Author: Stephanie I really need to cancel this order. Apparently, the person that I was going to play this trick on (my best friend) just learned that she had a miscarriage and I really don’t think that it would be very funny to play such a prank on her. My order has not shipped yet, so please help me in cancelling this. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Ma’am, USPS sent your tracking number today at 14:04 p.m. Pacific. Your message, above, was logged in our system at 20:18 Pacific this evening. Obviously your order has already shipped.Date: 2.1.2008 Author: Kitty FROM: Date: 2.1.2008 IP: 66.239.27.130 (this IP can be matched to a physical address in Utah) Email: kitty331@msn.com (this email appears on NO order attempts) Author: Kitty (bogus name) Name (normally hidden): Kitten (bogus name) Phone (normally hidden): 801-522-2582 (probably bogus) Order # (normally hidden): 197491 (no such number in our shopping cart) City or Town (normally hidden): Maine (fraudulent info– author is in Utah) Yeah, your site, sucks ass. everything about it sucks ass. you guys are useless, your support is useless, it takes WAY to long for you guys to respond, and everytime I try to purchas something I get a “REASON 2” which doesn’t mean anything to me. wtf. get your crap together noobs. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: REASON 2 means your card is over its limit, or you’re late on a payment and your credit card company would LOVE to talk to you, dumb-ass. If you aren’t smart enough to figure that out, stay off our site. You’re too stupid to be trying to order online. It’s beyond you and always will be. We’ve never once taken more than 24 hours to reply, even to morons like you. IP Trace Results for this imbecile: IP address location & IP address info: IP address [?]: 66.239.27.130 [Copy][Whois] IP address country: United States IP address state: Utah IP address city: Lehi IP postcode: 84043 IP address latitude: 40.324501 IP address longitude: -111.961800 ISP of this IP [?]: XO Communications Organization: NICS Host of this IP: [?]: 66.239.27.130.ptr.us.xo.net [Whois] Local Time of this IP country: 2008-02-01 15:05 We’re going to go back through our logs of purchase attempts from this Utah town which resulted in a REASON 2 decline (Lehi will have been the last jump, and probably not the exact town this piece of human garbage lives in), and when we have an address for this rodent we’ll notify all kinds of people and agencies in that area of this person’s behavior, including the Lehi Police. If they don’t already have a white-card on this imbecile, it’s time they created one. We have ZERO tolerance for pimply-faced 14 years olds who think they can get away with this punkish crap. UPDATE: The phone number traces to a landline residence phone in Salt Lake City — probably a bogus number, but we’ll check it out to be sure. UPDATE: We’re strapped for time for messing with crap like this, but we’re not strapped for money. We’re going to offer a standing $50 reward for the home address of the person responsible for this nonsense. Your best bet is to strike a deal with a support employee at XO Communications and have them pull the IP that was in use at approx 14:01 hrs Pacific (give or take 2 minutes), on 2-1-08. They can easily provide the account info for the person using that IP at that time (it looks as though it might be a dial-up). You must be able to PROVE your case. We’ll take it from there. Date: 1.31.2008 Author: shari Rosenfeld hi — are you making custom “late breaking news” videos? I only want about 60 seconds to include in a photo/video montage. thanks. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Yes, we just haven’t had time to create the order form for custom scripts. The form will include a space for the script (up to 600 words), an image, and a short video clip to be spliced in, if desired. You can also choose from any of our actors, some of whom come in from as much as 200 miles away. Price is $225. We can produce these now if desired. We hope to have the order form for custom scripts up and running within two weeks. The pre-made news segments are orderable now. We have about 60 that have been produced — as always we’re struggling to find the time to get them posted. We seem to be averaging about 2 per day.Date: 1.30.2008 Author: Linda I wanted to order the rubber checks but wondered if they are available any more as every time I check the site it says unavailable. Plus I wanted about 9/10 checks but over $100 seemed a bit high. Are they available. Is the $38 for 3 the only option? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Sorry, the rubber checks are still unavailable. We lost our source of a particular rubber and have not yet been able to replace it. We do intend to offer them again, but cannot say when.Date: 1.30.2008 Author: tom RE: My order for a whole newspaper that I submitted tonight. I need the print size of the headline larger than the illustrations shown on your web site. This fake newspaper will be used as a stage prop, and I would like the headline (and the name of the paper) to be quite prominent (so that it will be visible/readable several rows into the audience). I don’t know type sizes, but 2x or 3x the size of you illustrations should work fine. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Got it. Thanks.Date: 1.29.2008 Author: denyse its not letting me put in my shipping address and i need to get my fake ultrasound asap as a birthday joke.. it also want to see if i can make it look like i am 1 month pregnant.. how do i get my address on there? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We’re not sure what you mean — it’s not letting you put in your shipping address. What happens when you type it in? Re putting your address on the actual ultrasound, there is no space for an address because the ultrasound doesn’t feature an address. Re making it look like you are one month pregnant, what we offer is what we offer. If what we offer doesn’t work for you, you shouldn’t buy it.Date: 1.28.2008 Author: tom I need a whole fake newspaper for a stage prop. I need the headline to be quite large. Can you increase the size of the print type larger than your illustration on this site? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Easy. We used to have an option in the order form for a “regular” size headline, or extra large for stage work. Unfortunately, that choice confused too many people and we removed it (along with many other choices that confused too many people). Immediately after ordering, just drop a note here to tell us how large you want it, and also if you have a font preference.Date: 1.28.2008 Author: steve I ordered 3 small stories. All three were slightly different. I filled out the order form 3 times seperately, each slightly different. The problem is, I recieved 20 copies of the first , no copies of the second, and 10 copies of the third. I REALLY wish there was some way i could talk to someone. How do we proceed? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: You just did talk to someone– We do recall there was some confusion on that order. Please complete a form for the story that was missing (submit ONLY the form — do NOT continue through the payment process) and we’ll print and ship immediately. Thanks…Date: 1.26.2008 Author: Victoria i want to order a prank and when you get to the verification form it doesnt accept the number i put in , i notice there is a strike thru line on yours , how is it to be entered then ??? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: That can happen with some browsers. 1st plan is to close the browser, re-open and try again (bookmark the page first). If you know how to clear your browser’s cache, do that. Or reboot and go back to the page. The strikethrough is supposed to be there. These stupid verification systems (called CAPTCHA) which have now become necessary on ALL forms everywhere are due to the hoards of mindless, bottom-feeding spammers who are not content with just filling up our in-boxes with breast-enhancement advertisements, but who now search through the world wide web to find forms like the ones found all through our site. They then set electronic robots to work filling those forms with their spams. It’s hard to believe — we doubt they’ve gained one single sale worldwide through the use of this idiotic tactic, but they persist. So webmasters the world over have had to resort to little schemes like this to try to confuse the robots and make it difficult for them to automatically submit these forms. If we don’t use any CAPTCHA system, our sites become unusable within a matter of days, as the spammer’s robots completely overwhelm our forms and servers with mindless crap. Because of these idiots, every customer in the world now has to try to deal with these CAPTCHA systems, and we find this utterly and completely outrageous. These spammers are costing the world uncounted billions, and getting almost no return. They are truly the dumbest people on God’s Green Earth and we’d like to see each and every one of them get the frigging death penalty.Date: 1.26.2008 Author: michele Hi, I need a copy of a 1920’s tabloid approximately 11″ x 16″. If I scan all the pages and send you a jpg can you reproduce it? How many pages can you do and what would you charge for it (per page)? Also what would the lead time be for this kind of custom work? Thanks! REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: No problem. Just place the order normally, and send your images using our regular form. When we see that your images are of complete pages we’ll automatically just print them as such. Please divide them up into pages though — in other words, each sheet will have four files, (two pages on one side, two on the other), and please name the pages such that their order will be obvious (page 1, page 2, etc.). Price is the same as shown. Turn-around time is 72 hours (or 24 hrs if you choose RUSH during checkout. Please man your email after ordering in case we have a question. Thanks. –Oops –how many pages can we do? As many as you need, but each 2 identical sheets (of four pages each) would count as a seperate order.Date: 1.23.2008 Author: Angela I just want to say I think your site is awesome and when I read different things you have said about peoples mistakes and shipping I was laughing very hard. Your site is awesome and I will highly recommend you, as a matter of fact I have already to several people. I just wanted to say thank you for a great website. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Jeeze — you scared us for a second. We thought maybe you were a CRAZY PERSON, getting ready to call us names. Thanks for the nice comments though. We’ll take all we can get.Date: 1.23.2008 Author: Mela ok. I order this yesterday. I know this will take 72 hours. I order pregnancy test. then.. I typed : but, it is not correct. I selected 1~2 Months. Not 1 ~2 weeks. is it possible to change it ? thank you so much.. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We’ll try to take care of this if your order has not already shipped. We don’t ship “at” 72 hours, we ship WITHIN 72 hours. But for future reference, please read the answer to this question right here on this page, just a few inches above this message box. Oops — you did not include your order number OR a last name. We did see that you’re from Ontario. Please note that we’ve had to stop shipping to Canada because the Canadian carriers will not obtain a delivery signature for us, and without one, the credit card companies will not always honor the transaction and pay us. If you’re in Canada, your order would have been automatically cancelled today. Sorry.Date: 1.22.2008 Author: d. hampton The thing is, the address I provided and the address the bank have are the same. I checked. I’m tempted to place another order, but I’m afraid of that dreaded msg (and another $25.00 being deducted from my account). I have no instructions to the bank to not clear internet transactions….why oh why can’t I simply place this order?? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We understand your frustration. When we run into a glitch ordering online it drives us absolutely nuts. We place up to 25 orders a day, so we run into lots of glitches. But in this case there’s nothing we can do. It could be a small thing that’s triggering the address mismatch filter. But we’ve made that filter even more liberal than it should be. We suggest submitting a change of address to your card issuer. Change it to exactly the address you’re using in our order form (then give it at least 24 hours to propagate through their systems). Even if you believe it already matches, sometimes that update will flush out any weird discrepancies that may not even be visible.Date: 1.22.2008 Author: d. hampton I’m not sure why my order was cancelled. The info. I credit card info. I submitted (twice) is accurate. The billing and shipping info. are the same. And yes, my bank is holding the funds. I’d really like the order. Is there a way to place it so I actually receive it? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: As your error email indicates, the billing address you entered in our shopping cart does not match the address your credit card company has on file. We have even relaxed the requirements so that your address need only MOSTLY match. There is nothing we can do to help. The address must match. When it does, the order goes through, as it does in 98% of cases every day. We suggest contacting your CC company to see what address they have on file for your card.Date: 1.21.2008 Author: James K Leonard I have just checked with my credit card and you are correct this payment was not deducted is it possible to pay with the credit card and you send it to 7215,Sunrise Hill Lane, Richmond Texas 77469 how can I pay you for this item please let me know. Thank you James Leonard REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Just place the order again. New form, new everything.Date: 1.21.2008 Author: KRISSY IS THERE ANYWAY YOU CAN RESET MY ATTEMPTS ASSOCIATED WITH MY IP ADDRESS? I REALLY WOULD LIKE TO PLACE MY ORDER.THANKS REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: See belowDate: 1.21.2008 Author: KRISSY I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO ORDER THE PREGNANCY PAPERS AND EVERYTIME I CLICK SUBMIT – IT WOULD SAY I ENTERED THE INCORRECT VERIFICATION CODE. I ENTERED IT CORRECTLY EACH TIME AND NOW IT SAYS THAT I HAVE EXCEEDED THE MAX ATTEMPTS AND I HAVE HAD OTHER COWORKERS TRY AND EACH TIME IT SAYS THE SAME THING ON EACH COMPUTER. CAN I ORDER THIS ANY OTHER WAY? CAN I SEND YOU ALL THE INFORMATION FOR THE TEST? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: This can sometimes happen when a customer clicks back and forth through the form. All other orders from other customers have come through fine. We suggest closing your browser, then restarting it and going back to the product page. It should work at that time. If it does not, it may be required to reboot your computer. This is a matter of the security code getting stuck in your browser’s cache. The max-attempts error will reset itself, usually after an hour. When you place the order, just fill out the form, click submit, then click continue. Do not fill out the form and submit it, then click BACK to go back to the form. That’s usually what causes this problem. Your “back” button in your browser can often cause all sorts of grief like this on websites with forms.Date: 1.20.2008 Author: James K Leonard I ordered two newspapers on the 12/26/07 and I am still waiting for delivery I paid $46.90 for the papers and delivery I can not remember getting an order # or I have misplaced with the move back to Canda. It was to be delivered to 12840 South Kirkwood road, Stafford, Texas. I have now moved to 22 Payne Street Granby Quebec Canada J2G 4J8 could you please respond about this order and try and find it please. Regards We do have a completed form here for your newspaper, but we have no record of payment from anyone under your name. We have even gone into the server logs to see if any payment attempt was made by anyone with the last name of Leonard. No entries are found. We have also searched all of our local databases for any reference to your Texas address. There is none. After submitting your personalization form you must click the large link which says CONTINUE. That will take you into the PAYMENT area. Orders are not filled unless they are paid for. FYI, we no longer ship to Canada. Internal search results posted below: Search Criteria: Payment Method [ ALL ] ; Last Name[leonard] ; Transaction Status [ ALL ] ; From [ 19-Jan-2008 22:18:51 ] ; To [ 12-Aug-2006 19:48:12 ] ; Show [10 results per page] Click on a transaction ID below to view transaction details. Click on any column heading to sort. No records found. Date: 1.19.2008 Author: Christal hello, I just received my ultrasound pic through another person’s debit and it went through the first time for her. I would like to thank you very much for your services. I guess I will have to use my other source to do business with your company, because I never received a response reguarding the credit card and I also retried the shopping cart also. so to anyone having an on going problem with payment method just try another resource because their products are beautiful and their security is tufffffff! REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We are continually bombarded with scammers, so we’ve been required to take steps to stop them. That should NOT mean that “real” customers have trouble ordering, but, frankly, credit card processors suck. We are STILL waiting for a simple reply from Authorize.net regarding the mysterious “REASON 2”, and here’s our latest demand to them, sent just hours ago: TO: Authorize.net, commercial credit card processor: Nearly two weeks ago we asked you this question and we included the data from a sample failed transaction. As usual, your arrogance and unprofessionalism showed through and you couldn’t be bothered to reply in any way, shape or form. Again, for the record, our question is this: We need a detailed explanation as to the exact meaning of “REASON 2” as pertains to a declined transaction. Your published explanation says, simply, that the transaction has been declined. –Not a lot of help. We had always thought Reason 2 was “card over limit”, but we have customers who’ve been declined for Reason 2, coming back to us, saying they have more than enough funds on their card or in their account to pay for a hundred such products, yet they were still declined for Reason 2. You can actually muster a tiny fleck of professionalism and honor and reply this time, or you can reply to your state’s attorney general, because that’s the next agency we’ll contact if you blow us off again. You folks really take the cake, and we can finally see that the 4900+ “authorize.net sucks” sites on the Internet are rooted in truth. This is an absurdly simple matter. You could have kept it simple by JUST REPLYING INITIALLY. For some reason that concept seems to be beyond you. Sooner or later you WILL reply; you can do so in a manner that’s easy for you, or you can wait until you have racked up ten or twenty man-hours replying to various agencies. We suspect you’ll choose the latter. –And you wonder why your customers are disgusted with you. REPLY MANDATORY. Just tell us what “Reason 2” means in detail. That’s all you have to do. Seriously. That’s all you have to do. Sent and witnessed at 14:09 Pacific, 1-19-08 UPDATE: For those following this saga, we’ve finally received a reply from Authorize.net which, of course, fails utterly to be of any help. Here’s their reply in any case: Greetings from Authorize.Net! This transaction was declined by the customer’s credit card company. A general decline [REASON 2] can occur for many reasons such as insufficient funds, the expiration date is wrong, card number is incorrect, etc. Unfortunately the customer’s card issuing bank does not give us any information regarding the reason for the decline, so the customer will have to contact their credit card company for any details. Date: 1.16.2008 Author: jack murray if I purchase a full newspaper can I write several articles and how many? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We can usually fit up to three stories on the front page of the “whole” size if the lengths are kept reasonable, and up to six stories on the back page. We charge $10 to set each additional story after the first. Please submit a new form for each story, then, after submitting the last story, click CONTINUE and go through the payment process. Choose a quantity of “1” (one order). Then add a note here to tell us you give us permission to add $10 per story (after the first) and we’ll add that to your card manually. Thanks.Date: 1.10.2008 Author: Christal Hello, I was wondering if you have heard anything from the credit card people, and will the ultrasound pics have copyright written on it and also is the stamp anywhere else on the pics visiable for the person to notice that the ultrasound isn’t real right away. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: As stated in our previous response to you, we will post the credit card company’s reply here when we receive it. Re your other questions, there is no copyright mark on the ultrasounds; however they are still very rigorously copyrighted. Re any other markings on the plates that would give them away, please read the answer on the product page. We always beg and plead with customers to read the info on the product page before asking. Also, we noted on our previous response to you that we had added a routine in the shopping cart that might solve the problem some customers were having with “reason 2” declines. We notice that it did solve some or most of those problems, so you’re welcome to try your card again. We did expect to hear back from the card handlers today — hopefully tomorrow (Friday).Date: 1.9.2008 Author: ashley No prepaid walmart cards with the visa logo understand by why isnt my case debit card going though this is an actual bank acount? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We actually updated your previous message; please take a look. We’re still waiting for a reply from the card processor regarding their “reason 2”. We expect a reply on Thursday and we’ll post it here. In the meantime, as we’ve said on your other entry, we have set up a routine in the shopping cart that may serve to solve your problem. Feel free to test it. If it still doesn’t work, we’ll all have to wait for a formal explanation from the card company.Date: 1.9.2008 Author: Ashley Read christals add as well Im having the same problem card declining I can give you my debit card number and info It is a prepaid card and there is a $100.00 dollars in it and my bill on here came out to $85.00 for rush delivery. I need these papers and ultra sound soon lol.. Also my chase card got declined. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!! We may be on to something here! You say you’re using a prepaid card! That would be automatically declined because there is no address verification service available on prepaid cards! What happens with those damned things is this: If we cannot show that the item was delivered to the address that is on record with the credit card company for the card in question, the customer can appeal to their card company and get the charge reversed. Obviously, we can’t verify that our order was shipped and delivered to the address registered to the prepaid card, because in the case of prepaid cards, there IS NO ADDRESS associated with the card. We have the option of accepting prepaid cards, but in too many cases, after we had worked and slaved to produce some beautiful product for our nice customers which was paid for using a prepaid card, about two months later we’d get a notice in the mail from the credit card company stating that they were reversing the charges, and they would take all our hard-earned money right back out of our account. That can NOT happen when the card has an address registered to it, and we can prove that the item was delivered to that address and only that address. So any order that comes in from a credit card which does not support the address verification system (AVS) will automatically be declined, and the reason MIGHT be the infamous “reason 2”. The credit card processors tell their merchants that they are welcome to turn off the feature that declines prepaid cards, but if they do, they do so at their own risk, and they may very well not get paid for their services. Real nice for the merchant! The bottom line is we simply can’t take prepaid cards. They work okay in situations where the merchant can swipe the card right there in the store (called “card present” transactions). In those cases the address or lack of an address doesn’t matter. But for transactions over the net we’ve found that they just don’t work. We simply can’t afford to make and ship things for free. We’re sorry, but there is no reliable way for us to get paid except to take regular credit or debit cards. We even had trouble getting paid reliably using Paypal. The whole system sucks, and we wish the financial institutions would think ahead when they initiate programs like prepaid cards. Their stupidity causes all of us, merchants and customers, a lot of time and trouble. UPDATE: We’ve setup a routine that may work to trick our shopping cart into allowing certain kinds of gift and prepaid cards. You’re welcome to try it, though we can make no guarantees.Date: 1.9.2008 Author: Christal one more ? is their any way I can purchase the 3 ultrasound pics without the horns Pleasssssse. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Sorry, if the template has the horns, then the horns get printed. Going in and changing the template is more than we’re willing to do for $16.95.Date: 1.9.2008 Author: Christal Hello, I recently wrote to you guys about my order declining. Well I went to the bank and I am very sure I have enough money for what I want the ultrasound pic. so I was wondering if the computer is using my debit as a credit? Please help if you can i really need the pics. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: OK, we’re sick and tired of these financial institutions (credit card companies) being obtuse and making life generally miserable for the people who support them and pay their wages, so we’re going to send a nasty-gram to Authorize.net and try to force them to reveal the actual reason your transactions are being declined. We may or may not hear back from them today; we’ll post their reply as soon as we have it. We have a little program that is supposed to translate their errors codes into real English REASONS, but it seldoms provides any real clues as to why a transaction is declined. It’s just ridiculous. How is the customer supposed to correct a problem if no one will tell them exactly what the problem is? This really ticks us off, especially after ten thousand of these problems. We really hate, loathe and detest credit card companies, so let’s see if just this once we can MAKE them be logical. UPDATE: We’ve setup a routine that may work to trick our shopping cart into allowing certain kinds of gift and prepaid cards. You’re welcome to try it, though we can make no guarantees.Date: 1.8.2008 Author: Ashely I really want to order 2 items from you guys! If i order a fake ultra sound and pregnancy document normal delivery on wed 1-9-08 will I get it before the 22nd of this month? I have never ordered anything off of here and I undersand why you dont have a contact number. Just dont want to get ripped off. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We’ve prepared a whole page to answer all shipping questions. Here is the link: http://www.trixiepixgraphics.com/misc/about_shipping.htmlDate: 1.7.2008 Author: PAUL RIHN JUST RECEIVED MY CUSTOM PAPER TODAY 1/7/08 AND IT APPEARS TO BE NOT RIGHT. NEWSPAPER HEADLINES SHOULD BE ” DECLARATION OF WAR” THIS DOES NOT APPEAR ANY WEAR ON THE PAPER. PLEAS HELP ME WITH THIS. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We’ve pulled up your order. Your ordered the “full” size, which is an inside sheet and does NOT have a headline on it. Only one of our sizes has a newspaper headline on it; that is the “whole” size (or the poster version of the whole size) (you actually marked the form for the “small” size, which does not either have a newspaper headline, but during checkout you changed it and ordered the “full” size). Here is a cut and paste from the form, explaining how newspaper headlines are handled, and below that is another cut and paste which shows your order form: Newspaper Headline (whole & poster ONLY!) This is the main headline for your newspaper, not for your specific article. There’s room for only 60 characters (30 per line). You can place certain words on one line, and certain words on a second line if desired. Obviously this prints. Leave blank or type NONE if not ordering the whole or poster sizes; the small and full sizes do not feature a newspaper headline and this field will be ignored for those sizes. Cap all words, keep short! (eg Mars Attacks!, etc.). A note about headlines: A “real” newspaper can pick and choose, and alter its own headline to suit. That means that if the headline is a two-liner and the words don’t line up just right, the editor can find new words that do, without being forced to hyphenate anything in the first line. Hyphenating a headline is “BAD”. Unfortunately, we don’t choose your headline — YOU do. And we are loath to change it. Therefore, please consider how your headline might format itself if it’s likely to be two lines. We have all kinds of tricks to avoid hyphenating a headline; we can stretch and squeeze the text, move words here and there, but in the end there MAY be times when there is simply no other choice but to hyphenate your headline. You can avoid this by being careful about composing your headline. Note that in the headline field on this form there are two lines. If your headline takes up more than one line, do both lines “balance out”? Or can they be rearranged so they do balance out, and have close to the same number of characters (including spaces) on both lines? If the differences between the two lines are extreme, you may be stuck with a hyphen. Your IP Address: 68.113.149.107 Article Selection: C-00 CUSTOM Write Your Own Your First Name: PAUL Your Last Name: RIHN Email: GORIHN@GMAIL.COM Date of Newspaper: wednesday, janurary 16th 2008 Newspaper Name: THE WORD OF GOD Newspaper Headline: DECLARATION OF WAR!!! Image Description: Men and wemon pulling together to help the war effort. Article Headline: THE APOSTOLIC CHURCH OF SUN PRAIRIE DELARES WAR AGAINST THE WORLD AND THE FLESH. Byline: RERVIVAL !!!! Story Location: SUN PRAIRIE W.I. Main Story Text: Do NOT refer to position of image (eg. lower right, upper left, etc.). Otherwise, change this story in any way you like: Type any story into this box. If ordering the “small” size, the template will accomodate NO MORE than 350 words. The “whole”, “full” and “poster” sizes will accomodate up to roughly 750 words. Main Image Upload: Inset Image Upload: Have You Included: NO What Size/Format: SMALL ($16.95) (10 copies) I agree to check my email: YES Freeway Sign Text: Trophy Text: Valentine Message: I Agree Not to Use This: YES Date: 1.7.2008 Author: dennis I want to know how to get the bulk rate i want at least 100 small news paper clips what price and how maney do i have to order thanks dennis_clause@yahoo.com REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We thought we had removed the option and the offer for discounted bulk orders — if there is still something on the site that refers to bulk orders please let us know where it is so we can remove it. On orders of 100 we can bump the count up to about 125. On orders of 200 we’d print and ship 250, etc. That’s probably as far as we’re willing to go on these.Date: 1.7.2008 Author: Rebecca Alrighty, I have a bit of a problem. It’s not anything you guys did, but just me being the blonde that I am. I ordered a fake paternity test (very real looking by the way, I like it) and I must have mis-read the donor slot because I accidentially put the name of the two donors that I thought would be the people I wanted to prove paternity with. I didn’t put the name of the person I wanted one of them to be related to. Does this make sense? Anywho, if it would be possible to get a new certificate, not a whole new test, to replace the one that was messed up on my behalf, that would be great. If not, that’s fine too. I can just order a new one. Thanks much! REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: As it seems you have guessed, yes, the two name slots are for the two people you want to show either ARE related, or are not. As for re-doing the certs, sorry, we don’t have a button for that that would carry the transaction through the shopping cart at a lower price for just the altered certs sans the test kit, and it would take us half an hour to create one. Sorry to say the only option is just do the order again.Date: 1.6.2008 Author: Kathy Can you create a new word to insert into the fake dictionary or can you only change the definition of an existing word? Thanks REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Oh, sure. Make up any word you like. That’s really what this was originally designed for. Whatever you supply, we print.Date: 1.5.2008 Author: lakeisha d. joyner ] hello i just wanted to know did my package got back to you . i gave you my shipping adress and you mailed out my package to my old address/billing address. so what do i do im confused? and i requested to be pleased promised to my shipping address.i wanted to know and the usps says that it was sent back to you. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We’ve looked up your tracking data. Your item was sent back to us TODAY (the same day you contacted us). That means it will be at least a few days before it reaches us. Please check back in a few days or a week to see if we have it. At that time you may use the following link to have it re-shipped: http://www.trixiepixgraphics.com/extras/re_ship.html Regarding your request to have the item shipped to your shipping address as opposed to your billing address, we received NO such request, but had we received such a request we would not have changed the address. Please review the huge, bold, red warning that is displayed two times in a row on the product page for the item you ordered (fake pregnancy papers). A similar paragraph is also displayed during checkout, and the customer cannot get to the next step without reading it: WARNING WARNING WARNING: Due to a large number of orders using stolen credit cards, the billing address you enter into the payment section must exactly match the address your bank has on file for your credit or debit card. If the information doesn’t match, your order will be CANCELLED. ALSO, we will NOT ship this item to any address except your registered BILLING address, regardless of any different shipping address you enter at checkout! We’re sick and tired of credit card fraud! WARNING WARNING WARNING: Due to a large number of orders using stolen credit cards, the billing address you enter into the payment section must exactly match the address your bank has on file for your credit or debit card. If the information doesn’t match, your order will be CANCELLED. ALSO, we will NOT ship this item to any address except your registered BILLING address, regardless of any different shipping address you enter at checkout! We’re sick and tired of credit card fraud! Date: 1.5.2008 Author: Richard I ordered this gift on 12/22, asked it to be shipped on 12/28. My friend’s birthday–the reason for the gift–is tomorrow. She has not received it. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Here is the tracking data for your order. Please use the USPS (not UPS) site for verification. This tracking number is sent to all customers at the moment the order is shipped out: Label/Receipt Number: 0103 8555 7491 8523 XXX (removed from public view) Status: Delivered Your item was delivered at 1:00 PM on December 27, 2007 in NEWPORT NEWS, VA 23608. Date: 1.4.2008 Author: Michael TO: Michael, From: FakeNewspapers.com We have set up your giant checks template. However it looks as though you probably meant to order the check featured at the following url: http://www.trixiepixgraphics.com/giant_checks/FCH-8_giant_checks.html The check style that you ordered requires one single image of the WHOLE CHECK. This is for customers who don’t like the layout or design of our checks. They can create an entire check from scratch. When we saw that you had only uploaded your logo, it seemed clear you needed the product at the url shown above. Assuming that’s the case, please go to that page and complete the form. Once you’ve completed the form, click SUBMIT. A page will pop up asking you to print it for your records. Then you’re DONE. Please do NOT click continue to go into the payment process — just exit the page or close your browser, etc. You can upload you logo again if you choose, but there’s no need since we already have it. We just need the data fields filled in on the form. Once we receive that new form we’ll finish processing and print. Thanks, Date: 1.4.2008 Author: Christal today I would like to order the fake ultrasound pics but they keep declining my order. all my info is correct. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: You’re being declined for “REASON 2”. That usually means “Card over limit”. Why can’t the error that the credit card company sends you just say that? We have no clue.Date: 12.31.2007 Author: Stephen Aras Will you ship marriage certificate to London England? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Per our “About Shipping” page, we no longer ship outside the US due to rampant credit card fraud.Date: 12.30.2007 Author: jackie thank you for your help but i have tried for 30 min i have no idea why it is denying it cause of address when the billing and shipping are same and also the same my bank has wish we could have done business thanks REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: If you go back through these public pages you’ll see many references to this problem. In a week or a month the customer virtually always figures it out, then they place their order without a problem. We even have customers who cannot properly enter their 3-digit security code, then complain because the “website is too complicated”, and they’re never able to place their order. Perhaps that’s as it should be.Date: 12.30.2007 Author: jackie i was trying to submit and i am using my bank card it keeps say their is a av2 mismatch i cant see how that is i want it shipped to my billing address and is the same i put for my card and its on my check book and i even had checked my address with the bank and its right so why is it telling me their is a mismatch it is a apt and i have eventered them together and in the address 2 line i done understand thanks REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We see this fairly often (several times a day). If the billing address you enter exactly (EXACTLY!) matches the address your bank or card company has on file the transaction WILL go through. There’s really nothing more we can say — if it matches, it will go through, just as it does for 99.9% of our customers. If you are using a debit card then the address must match the address your BANK has on file. If you’re using a credit card, that’s different. It may have been issued by your bank, or by some other credit card company. You must match the billing address THAT company has on file. We wish we didn’t have to require this and that we could just ship to whatever address the customer desired, but the thieves and credit card fraudsters of the world have made life miserable for everyone. We would truly love to get our hands on a few of those types. No police would be involved..Date: 12.30.2007 Author: KEN DO YOU HAVE FAKE HIGH SCHOOL DIPLOMAS OR FAKE GED CERTIFICATES REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: You might try this link: http://www.trixiepixgraphics.com/certificates/FC-23.htmlDate: 12.29.2007 Author: kiki I changed some info on my order and re-submitted it. Will the changes be applied to my order. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: There is no need to ask this question. As stated all through the website, you need only submit a new form to make corrections or updates before your order has shipped. We will always use the most recent form when processing any order.Date: 12.27.2007 Author: Dwaine Hampton Re ved the newspaper you did for me today and everything was fine except that the caption for the picture I emailed you printed, but the picture did not. Please let me know if you did receive the original picture I emailed or how to email it again and get it added to the newspaper article. Thanks!!!!! REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Your form submission is copied and pasted below. No image was attached to the form, and you also checked the “no” box indicating that you had not attached any images. You should have your own copy of the form if you printed it right after submitting it, and a printed copy of the form is included with all orders. We’re sorry for the trouble, but your order was filled exactly as it was supplied to us: Your IP Address: 64.12.117.77 Article Selection: C-00 CUSTOM Write Your Own Your First Name: Dwaine Your Last Name: Hampton Email: carolinahamptons@aol.com Date of Newspaper: Saturday, December 22, 2007 Newspaper Name: The Woodlands Post Newspaper Headline: Local Youths Caught Vandelizing Mailboxes Image Description: Better Days. On the set of “Band Camp” with director John “Hard”. Article Headline: Legendary Adult Film Star Hospitalized Byline: “Tuba” Hampton Story Location: Woodlands, TX Main Story Text: Early Sunday morning legendary adult film star, Sandra “Big Mac” McConnell, was found lying naked in the driveway of her daughter’s home located here in Woodland. Local police have not determined if drugs or alcohol were involved, but authorities have ordered a full psychiatric evaluation. Her family could not be reached for comment but her publicist did confirm that Sandra had been under a lot of stress from working on a new film due out in the spring of 2008. Numerous elderly men that gathered at her daughter’s home for news of her condition did comment that they wish for her fast recovery. The men claim her movies give them the only happiness they have. “A lot of the neighborhood guys are huge fans and still have many of her early ‘reel to reel’ movies. The things she can do on screen are amazing. She has been a real inspiration to all senior citizens across the country.” For the last couple of weeks, “Big Mac” as she is known in the adult film industry, had been working in Houston on her latest film, “Giddy Up Granny!” Adult film actor and co-star, Joe “Cane Pole” Sills claims he saw this coming. “For the past few months she was consumed by the realization that she would be turning 70 years old and could no longer perform on film (or other places). Recently while performing in a local strip club for her fans, she was doing her famous “helicopter” move on stage and seriously injured three patrons when her sagging breasts flew out of her support bra. It has been incidents like this that have her thinking of retiring from adult films.” Porn legend “Cane Pole” Sills is also facing his last days of adult film stardom. As reported in Porn People Weekly, “Cane Pole” has arthritis in both hands from constantly having to use his “penis pump” when doing sex scenes. Because of this medical condition, many female porn stars and film producers have refused to work with him. “Giddy Up Granny” was to be his last adult film before retiring, but everyone’s question now is when “Big Mac” can return to finish the film. Sandra’s rise to stardom in adult films started in rural Yazoo City, Mississippi, where she was born and raised on her family’s beet farm. Her days were spent plowing and tending to the family beet crop. On weekends she would sell her beets at a local vegetable stand. One summer afternoon a man stopped at her stand to buy some beets. This man would transform Sandra from a poverty stricken beet farmer to an adult film legend. This man was the famous adult film director John “Hard,” who was filming nearby and needed an extra to stand in for a sick cast member on the set of “Band Camp.” The rest was history. Sandra not only starred in the original “Band Camp” adult movie (what she did to the trombone section is to this day unspeakable!), but also went on to star in “Band Camp II, III & IV.” These four movies turned out to be the largest grossing adult films of all time. With her success rising, Sandra moved to many different cities and towns across the country, with one being Murray, Kentucky. This is where she fell in love with the quiet streets and friendly people of the small community. Sandra felt compelled to give her new community some notoriety by filming “Pike House Mamma” on the campus of Murray State University. Under the direction of Bryan “Hollywood” Bartlett, renowned dishwasher at the Burt Reynolds Dinner Theater of Jupiter, FL, Sandra was taught how to bring out her inner self and open up to others. At the Cheri Theater preview of “Pike House Mamma,” Sandra finally felt she had done one of her best performances and hoped the local community would hail her as the next member of the “Brandon” family. Unfortunately the movie turned out to be a major insult to not only the citizens of Murray, but the whole state of Kentucky. Fearing further reprisals, Sandra moved her family to Woodland, Texas where she felt safe among the wealthy Jewish population. That is, until early Sunday morning. Sandra is currently being held at the Marlene Farrell Memorial Mental Hospital where she will need the support of her family and friends to convince her that she is old and needs to embrace the thought of gray hair, frequent urination and being able to see her teeth on the bed stand each night. We all hope “Big Mac” will make a full recovery and wish her a very happy 70th Birthday, a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year from the gang in Charlotte, Dwaine, Laura, Parker & Mary Grace! Main Image Upload: Inset Image Upload: Have You Included: NO What Size/Format: WHOLE ($39.95) (2 copies) <<— Standard Order I agree to check my email: YES Freeway Sign Text: Trophy Text: Valentine Message: I Agree Not to Use This: YES Date: 12.27.2007 Author: Bob Kornhiser From Bob Kornhiser: I filled out a form for a newspaper and at the very end of the process it said I was rejected for reason 65. I’m unable to find reason 65 on your very complicated site. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: You won’t find a reference to “reason 65” on our site because it’s not an error that is issued by our site. Reason 65 means that your card was declined because the security code you entered does not match the security code on your card. The credit card company issued this error.Date: 12.22.2007 Author: Carrie Do you have a ultra sound of twin boys? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: One of the templates depicts twins — we don’t know that gender would be obvious at that stage. PS: The error on your transaction was issued from the bank as error #2. It could mean any of several things, but usually means “card over limit”.Date: 12.22.2007 Author: Richard Could you change “Newspaper Headline (whole & poster ONLY!)” to read ‘Dolly Mama’ named successor. Thank you for your trouble REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Please refer to the box you were required to check when you placed this order. It is shown below: *I understand I may NEVER email with corrections, changes, or updates to my story. I agree to SUBMIT A NEW FORM for corrections YESDate: 12.22.2007 Author: Bill Good morning, I was told my order shipped 2 days ago. Can you give me an arrival date, please? I was hoping for today. Thank you REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Please refer to the tracking number you were sent at the time of shipping. With regard to tracking numbers being re-sent, please refer to the instruction on this page that you scrolled past in order to get to this contact box.Date: 12.21.2007 Author: Trezzo Hey there, On Dec 17th I placed a rush order for personalized wrapping paper. This is supposed to be 1-day for printing and 2-3 days for shipping. I rec’d a response stating that the job was printed and shipped. However as of c.o.b. friday afternoon the 21st, the paper hadn’t arrived. Could you please email me ASAP at my work e-ddress (as entered above), sending me the tracking info from your rush carrier. I need to track the shipment ASAP and see where it is, so I pick it up before I leave town tomorrow (saturday morning) for the holidays. Thanks, Trezzo REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Your tracking number is supplied again below. Per our “about shipping” page your item was not due for at least a couple more days. In any case it was delivered today. Tracking data appears below: Label/Receipt Number: EO94 1938 998U S Status: Delivered Your item was delivered at 11:20 AM on December 21, 2007 in ROCKVILLE, MD 20850. The item was signed for by J ESTAM.Date: 12.19.2007 Author: kiki will I have to pay again? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: No, of course not. Just complete the form on the product page, click SUBMIT, and you’re done. Do NOT continue on through the payment process. Just submit the personalization form.Date: 12.19.2007 Author: kiki Can I change my order before it is shipped? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: See answer in the ticket you opened below this one.Date: 12.19.2007 Author: kiki I just ordered an ultrasound… is it too late to change my order? I wanted to choose ultrasound F. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Just complete a new form with any updates or corrections. At the moment your order is processed, we automatically use the most recent submission. Your order will be up in the queue and will process around 3 p.m. Pacific time on Wednesday, 12-19.Date: 12.19.2007 Author: kiki Are you all able to do fake hospital “baby miscarriage” papers? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: The answer to your question is at this URL: http://www.trixiepixgraphics.com/fake_medical_tests/fake_medical_tests_list.htmlDate: 12.18.2007 Author: Linda Moore I want to order the pet birth certificate,since your ad says 2 identical,may I have 1 for “each” or my dogs in their names instead of 2 in the same name? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: No.Date: 12.18.2007 Author: Sharon Crouse FROM: Sharon Crouse SAlt Spring Island, B.C. When I placed the order the error message from your site stated that the shipping address did not match the billing address. I read your pages from top to bottom and from the information you supplied, I understood that because the two addresses did not match, the order would be cancelled. However, the order WAS shipped to the billing address rather than the shipping address. Canada Post returned the order because my physical retail business establishment, (billing address) which is also the address for my business credit card (billing address) was recently sold and closed. Canada Post acknowledges my shipping address. Further, the first message I received via e-mail from your company upon my query about being invoiced but not receiving the goods, stated that your company no longer ships orders to Canada. That was followed by another e-mail stating that the order was returned to you “unclaimed” and I appreciate you attaching the Canada Post documentation. Kindly address this issue at your earliest convenience. I would appreciate a refund to my credit card, please. Thank you for your kind attention and Merry Christmas! Sharon Crouse REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: The reply you received re the mismatched shpping and billing address made NO mention of the order being cancelled. Why would you think that it had? Within seconds of placing the order you received the order confirmation. Yet now you say you didn’t think the order went through. Have you ever received an order confirmation on an order that didn’t go through? Of course not. Some weeks later, when the item didn’t show up at your SHIPPING address, you inquired as to its whereabouts. If you thought the order had been cancelled, why would you ask why it hadn’t shown up? You state that you read our pages from top to bottom. In point of FACT, you did not. Here’s the section that appears right in the checkout process in bold red letters that you SHOULD have read. You can go back into the cart anytime and read it there as well. It’s been there for years. Quote: “NOTICE: We reserve the right to CANCEL orders in which the shipping address does not match the billing address. We reserve the right to ship to the BILLING address even if a different shipping address is entered. We will ALWAYS ship to the BILLING ADDRESS ONLY on orders for high-fraud items (all fake pregnancy items and others). We reserve the right to cancel any order in which the billing address entered does not match the billing address on file with your card company, and we usually will cancel those orders.” End Quote. You actually must look at that before you can even access the “continue” button. You were also sent a tracking number clearly showing the address your item was shipped to — that was within minutes of placing your order, or about 30 days before you began complaining that it hadn’t shown up. We almost never ship to an alternate shipping address in the US (we do occasionally with long-standing corporate accounts), but absolutely never in any other country. In any other country, always, ALWAYS to the billing address only. If your billing address was no longer valid YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN USING IT. Your billing address is where your bank sends your statements — were you not receiving your statements? Did you not set up a forward to your new address? It takes all of four minutes to change your billing address through your bank either by phone or online. You are correct– we will no longer honor orders to Canada. What does that have to do with your retrieving this order? Nothing whatsoever. Did you even TRY to utilize the re-ship function we directed you to? No, you did not. We do not begin to understand why you think businesses should create and manufacture products for you for free. That’s the attitude we see in silly American Southern California yuppies — we had thought Canuks were more logical. Bottom line: You placed an order. We created and shipped it in record time. We shipped it EXACTLY to the address you were told it would be shipped to in big, bold, red print. The address you supplied was not valid for WHATEVER reason. The item came back to us. You are free to have it re-shipped (we use a traceable private carrier for re-ships). If you do not elect to have it reshipped within the 30 day time limit, it will be discarded. This is the second time you’ve been advised of this. You will NOT receive a refund. We created your product EXACTLY as you requested; we shipped it early and EXACTLY to the address you supplied; we expect to be paid for our services. We note you are from Salt Springs BC. We’re actually from Powell River, and we’re an afternoon’s drive and a ferry ride from you now. We know the area well. We’ll be more than happy to come on up and allow a judge to decide in small claims court. We feel your request is outrageous and it has frankly ticked us off. We’ve done everything we possibly could for you, yet you snub a fair resolution at every turn. Even the re-ship charge would be four or five dollars less than what it will actually cost us to re-ship your item. Now that’s enough. Either pay the shipping to have your item delivered a second time, or cease and desist. That’s the end of this discussion. Any further discussion will be effected in small claims court in (probably) Victoria. Good grief.Date: 12.18.2007 Author: TrixiePixGraphics To Customer: Your newspaper template has been completed and is almost ready to print. Unfortunately the image you attached to the form didn’t seem to survive its virtual trip to us. Please reply to this email and attach your image. Thanks. NOTE: The Byline field was completed by the customer as follows: Byline: “WAS THERE A 5TH?” That would normally print as “By WAS THERE A 5TH?”. It makes no sense to us, but we print what we receive. REPLY from customer: Please notify me as soon as possible if you do not receive the attached picture. My contact information is listed below. (1) In addition, the only part of the picture that should be in the fake newspaper is her face-head, not the full body. (2) Will you create a ficitional writer as the author of the article? Cordially, Salim Khalid REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We’ve received your image and have applied it. We were just about to print, but unfortunately your question below has delayed it again. You ask if we will create an author for the story. No. You have already entered the following text into the byline field: “WAS THERE A 5TH?” Please refer to your own copy of the form you submitted. Whatever the customer types, gets printed. We do not make up any portion of your story; we do not add or subtract ANYTHING. Whatever you supply is what we print. Assuming, now, that you do not want that line as your byline, please supply whatever you DO want as a byline. Thank you. REPLY from Customer: With respect, I didn’t inquire into the byline. The current byline is fine. If a ‘made up’ author is unnecessary for the gag article then so be it. NOTE: Please refer to customer’s inquiry as copied directly from above: “(2) Will you create a ficitional writer as the author of the article?” That is an inquiry into the byline. FOLLOW-UP REPLY from Customer: Please remember this is supposed to be fun, a gag. Your comment: “…your question below has delayed it again,” is accusatory and less than cordial. We look forward to receiving the gag newspapers. Thank you for your time. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We didn’t intend to be disrespectful, but we’re sure our exasperation was beginning to show through. This order was shipped with the byline as requested (WAS THERE A 5TH?). With regard to the cropping of the image, the customer must ALWAYS supply the image they want printed. Again, for the 500th time, WE PRINT WHAT THE CUSTOMER PROVIDES. This is stated all through the website, and every customer is required to acknowledge in writing that they may NOT, EVER submit corrections or updates by email or any means other than the standard form. In this case we did crop the image as requested, but we would not care to repeat this order again.Date: 12.17.2007 Author: Trezzo OK, you can ignore my most-recent message. This time I had success. FWIW, when I tried this process from my home computer I definitely *did not* get the “continue” page after I clicked the submit button. Today, from a different machine, it worked fine. Please note that the photo which I attached will need to be cropped. As previously discussed, I want the whole baby to be included in the finished product. This is *not* to be cropped just to a face or to head-and-shoulders, etc. I want the wrapping paper to include the entire “baby in the santa suit”, from top of hat down to bottom of toes. You can remove as much of the sofa as you wish from the background. Secondly, please note that I included my business address for shipping. It is not secure to have large items left outside the door of my home. My business phone number is included in the order in case you wish to contact me to confirm that I am the same person as the billing address. If this is a problem, please give me a call or send an email and I’ll see what I can do. Thanks again for all your help. Trezzo REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Shipped per your request. Thank you.Date: 12.17.2007 Author: Trezzo Bummer about your PayPal experiences. I have used them many times, for several years, with enver a bad experience. I can confirm that I did *not* recieve a page with the completed details I had filled in and a link saying “continue”. I will try it again from a different computer and let you know. Thanks for the rapid response to my questions. TrezzoDate: 12.16.2007 Author: Trezzo Hi again, I filled in an order form, and uploaded the desired picture. Clicked submit. Waited while all the little green bars went to completion. The order page finally returned a “Done” message. However I did not receive a prompt for payment information. Maybe it’s Christmas and you are giving away wrapping paper for free? An associated question – when I do finally get to submit payment info, do you accept PayPal? Thanks, Trezzo REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: First, re Paypal, no. We used to accept it, but several years ago there was a period of time in which an amount of about $660 went IN to Paypal from customers, and never came out the other end to us. We tried every remedy over the next year or so, including threatening lawsuits, hiring an attorney in California (where Paypal is), appealing to the BBB in their area, appealing to the California Department of Justice — you name it, we tried it. Paypal simply refused to acknowledge the problem, even though we sent them the documentation over and over and over via registered mail. At that time we severed all ties with Paypal and we will never deal with them again (we never were paid for those sales which came from many different customers over about a four month period — we simply lost that revenue). Do a Google search for Paypal Sucks to read a few hundred thousand other horror stories. You can also read about the class-action suit brought against Paypal for this very same problem (the claimants won). Paypal’s a fly-by-night outfit at BEST. At worst, they are merely scam-artists and thieves. Re placing your order, after you submit any form you should be presented with a page which shows the entries you just made to the form, and urges you to print that page for your records. On that same page there is a HUGE BLUE (or red) LINK which says CONTINUE. You will need to click that CONTINUE link in order to CONTINUE through to the shopping cart. We are receiving other orders for this same product without apparent problems. Please let us know if you are NOT getting to that page with the huge blue or red CONTINUE link on it.Date: 12.15.2007 Author: Jodie Hello, Just a quick question. Do you ship to Australia? I’d like to place an order please. Love the humour on this site! Cheers, Jodie REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Very regrettably we’ve been forced to stop ALL International sales to all countries, even Canada. The fraud factor was just too high. We continue to look for a way to safely sell overseas again, but can’t say when or if we’ll find one.Date: 12.15.2007 Author: Sharon I wanted a quote for a roll of full print paper (no white space). The pattern/image I have is 4×6. What can you do for me and for how much? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We occasionally do what you need, however for it to work on this media the image needs to be rather “pastel-ly”. This media cannot hold heavy coverages of ink. Also, for a full coverage order the price is double. Please reply to the email we’ve sent you and attach your image — we’ll let you know if it’s advisable to print it on this media. Thanks.Date: 12.14.2007 Author: Victoria I got a confirmation number for payment though, is the confirmation number invalid? Invoice No.: 6339 . I am not sure if you want me to re-do the order or not, please let me know if I should re-do the order. Thanks! REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: No comment.Date: 12.14.2007 Author: Victoria Okay, so dont forget that I want the “Everything We Know About” on the (Everything I know About) BKB-02 – Item in my cart. Thanks so much for being so prompt with your responses! REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: FYI, we have not received your order. You did submit several forms, but apparently did not CONTINUE through the payment process. REPLY from CUSTOMER: Should I resubmit? or can I give you my card info over the phone? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: It’s not a matter of re-submitting, it’s a matter of submitting once. You have simply not placed your order. Once you send your personalization form you’re presented with a page that you should print, and on it near the top is a HUGE link that says CONTINUE. You must click CONTINUE to CONTINUE. If you have not input your credit card info, you have bnot placed any order. You have merely sent us a personalization form. No, we do not take orders by phone. We received orders all day and night using the shopping cart online. It works fine. REPLY from CUSTOMER: I got a confirmation number REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We have just now searched our shopping cart again and it has logged NO orders under your name. Please provide us with the four digit order number you were provided with. The order number will be four digits; no more, no less, and will say ORDER NUMBER, and nothing else. We are actually VERY swamped right now (this time of year), and we’re reaching a point where we will be unable to assist you further. Ordering this item is actually very simple. You complete the personalization form and submit it. You click CONTINUE on the next page, and you follow the prompts through the checkout system, inputting your credit card data, address, etc. It requires no more than that. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We do now have your order number 6339. Thank you. UPDATE: When attempting to process your order we find that while you indicated you had sent an image with your form, no image was actually attached to the form. Please send your image by email.Date: 12.14.2007 Author: Victoria great I am going to order now, just so you rember to do “we” instead of “I”, thanks so much! By the way my husband ordered a book from you guys and it was great!Date: 12.14.2007 Author: Victoria I am sorry I hate to be a pain, but I wanted to do the We instead of I because it’s a picture of my and my friend, but I am not sure what selection to make when ordering, do I select the Everything I know series? and if so do I put in the notes that I would like the “we” instead? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We’ve posted a sticky note on the printer that prints those covers, and it will remain there for about 24 hours — so assuming you place the order (or already have) it’s automatically taken care of for the order that comes in from your IP address.. Date: 12.14.2007 Author: Victoria So how do I make that selection? Do I put that as part of the Title? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We’ve posted a sticky note on the printer that prints those covers, and it will remain there for about 24 hours — so assuming you place the order (or already have) it’s automatically taken care of for the order that comes in from your IP address.. Date: 12.14.2007 Author: Victoria Can I do “Everything We Know” instead of “I” REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Yep. We actually have a cover just for that. Thanks.Date: 12.13.2007 Author: Kristy Harris I haven’t submitted an order yet but would like to know the following. If I have information for the inside pages and back page (for the full newspaper format) available each in a separate .jpg file, can they be printed instead of the filler information that you provide? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: First, the “full” size does not have inside pages. The full size is one sheet (three copies of the same sheet). It’s called the full size because it referes to the size of a full-page-ad. You would need to order the “whole” size to have inside pages. As far as using data other than our generic filler, it works this way: If you supply one jpg for each full page you want replaced, there is no extra charge — just tell us which page you want your data to print on. But if you want extra stories set and printed on any of the other pages, we charge $10 each to set them. Please inquire further if you still have questions.Date: 12.12.2007 Author: Trezzo I am planning to send a photo of my kid in a santa suit (for Xmas wrapping paper, fairly obviously!) I am one of those who don’t know how to create the transparent.gif. How can I make sure that the whole photo of the kid is used, from the hat to the bottom of his feet, rather than it being cropped so that it would just be his face (for instance). Thanks! Trezzo REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Immediately after placing your order, just leave us a message (as you’ve done here) reminding us of what you want. We’ll then pin that note to your order and all will be well. Thanks.Date: 12.12.2007 Author: Joseph Haak I received shipping info today via email and it looks like you’re shipping to the billed address and not my shipping address, why would this be? Also, I received confirmation on one of the giant check printing information, but not the second. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: RE your first question, it is answered a few inches above on this same page. Here is the answer again, as displayed also in the shopping cart during checkout in large, bold red print: “NOTICE: We reserve the right to CANCEL orders in which the shipping address does not match the billing address. We reserve the right to ship to the BILLING address even if a different shipping address is entered. We will ALWAYS ship to the BILLING ADDRESS ONLY on orders for high-fraud items (all fake pregnancy items and others). We reserve the right to cancel any order in which the billing address entered does not match the billing address on file with your card company, and we usually will cancel those orders.” This is the only way we can protect ourselves from Internet frausdsters, who often steal credit cards, then have their purchases shipped to alternate addresses. The owners of the card then file chargebacks on the transactions, and the retailer loses the entire sum. This kind of fraud skyrocketed in early 2007 — this year alone we lost roughly $11,500 due to this exact scenario. We had no choice but to make it a virtually iron-clad policy to ship ONLY to the registered billing address. Re your second question, it is a bit unclear. If your are referring to a copy of the data you submitted, that is not emailed (at least it’s not supposed to be), it is shown on a screen that appears immediately after submitting the form. You are asked to print that screen for your own records. If you had not reached that screen, you would have been unable to continue through to the payment process, so it is confirmed that you reached that page. We cannot “make” the customer print that page for their records — we can only request that they do so. If you are referring to your shipping notification, the answer would be this: Your two items were ordered as one single order. Your two items were shipped in the same box. Since both items were placed into the same box, there was only one box to ship. Since there was only one box to ship, only one shipping label was created. Since only one shipping label was created, only one tracking number was generated. Since only one tracking number was generated, only one tracking number was sent to you. Only one email message was used to send that one tracking number.Date: 12.10.2007 Author: fetaqueen hello, Thanks for having such a great service. I have a slight problem with my order, unfortunately. The custom article i created was printed without a headline. On my form submission, i had included a headline. Can you correct this at no further cost from me? thank you. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Below we have pasted in your personalization form. This is the form you were asked to print-out after submitting it. Please pay particular attention to the field titled “Article Headline”, and please note the entry that you typed for that field. A printed copy of this form was also sent to you with your order. Your IP Address: 12.26.54.11 Article Selection: C-00 CUSTOM Write Your Own Your First Name: Vicki Your Last Name: Andreadis Email: vickiandreadis@gmail.com Date of Newspaper: Wednesday, April 11, 2007 Newspaper Name: The East Hampton Tribune Newspaper Headline: Mermaid Saves Surfer – Couple Set to Wed on June 21, 2008 Image Description: None Article Headline: None Byline: Associated Press Story Location: Montauk, New York Main Story Text: A surfer hit by a rough wave and knocked unconscious was rescued by a mermaid last Saturday in the Ditch Plains section of Montauk. The mermaid, while swimming to Shelter Island for a party with fellow sea creatures, noticed the bobbing, lifeless figure and rushed over to investigate. Realizing the surfer was not responsive, the quick thinking nymph secured the man on her fin and swam him to shore. Upon regaining consciousness the surfer proposed and the mermaid happily accepted. When asked about the ordeal, the surfer stated, “I recently fell out of a tree and broke my ankle, I think my luck is finally turning around with this rescue.” The couple is set to wed on June 21, 2008 in East Hampton, New York. Main Image Upload: IMG_0817.JPG Inset Image Upload: Have You Included: YES What Size/Format: SMALL ($16.95) (10 copies) I agree to check my email: YES Freeway Sign Text: Trophy Text: Valentine Message: I Agree Not to Use This: YES Date: 12.10.2007 Author: Sharon Crouse Credit card payment was made and confirmed Nov 13th in the amount of 54.95 as Trixiepixgraphics.com 206-6969549 WA I have not received the order. Please ship or apply credit on my card. Thank you for you attention to this matter. S. Crouse REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Your order was actually shipped on the 12th, the same day the order was placed (your card was charged on the 13th); you should have had it in hand by about the 14th or 15th. We’re pasting in the shipping data below. The carrier does not show proof of delivery, even though proof of delivery was requested and paid for. This is a common problem with foreign delivery personnel, and it is the reason we have, over the years, stopped selling to every single country in the world except Canada. It appears now that we will have to stop selling to Canada as well. It is a colossal shame that carriers around the world simply refuse to do their jobs. Since we have no way of knowing if a reprinted order would reach you either [using standard methods], we are refunding to your card. As of this date, Canada will be removed from our list of acceptable countries to sell to. We simply do not have time for this, nor can we afford to continually re-ship products to countries where they are prone or likely to fall into a black hole. God knows that happens enough in the US, but at least when it happens here we have recourse. We apologize for the incompetence of your postal carriers. Your should see your refund reflected on your statement within the next few days. 11/12/2007 102067505 LJ503734004US Track & Confirm n/a Credit Card Charged TRIXIEPIX GRAPHICS TRIXIEPIXGRAPHICS SHARON CROUSE 3102 115 FULFORD GAN SALT SPRING ISLAND, BC CANADA sharonscountryhome@telus.net Weight: 0 lbs. 5 oz. Shipping Date: 11/13/2007 ZIP Code™: 98117 Service Option: Priority Mail International Flat Rate Envelope UPDATE: RE your “missing” order of 11-12-07, which we refunded for on 12-13-07. Be advised that we have just received this package back at our warehouse conspicuously marked UNCLAIMED. It was not “missing” at all. Your card has been re-charged for the original amount. This is a case where we did absolutely everything we were supposed to do — we manufactured and shipped your order long before it was due; it was documentably shipped to the correct address, yet you simply didn’t pick it up. In cases such as this you may use the link below to have your item re-shipped. Items that come back to us are held for 30 days, then discarded. We have attached a 27k jpg file, scanned from the front of your Global-Priority package. This has been appended to your file on our public messaging system. Replies to this email will not be received, nor read. http://www.trixiepixgraphics.com/extras/re_ship.html Good day. Date: 12.10.2007 Author: CW Hello, I was impressed with your giant checks. I was also slightly scared by your contact policy. Nonetheless, I see real potential in paying for everything with giant checks. I plan on becoming exceedingly rich in a short period of time. Would your fine company be able to print an entire book of giant checks? By entire book I mean around 50-100 checks bound exactly like a checkbook Please let me know if you would be able to offer this service. Thank you for your time. Respectfully, -CW REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Our contact policy is for our customers’ security as well as ours. If we make a promise to you, it’s in writing. Neither party can say, “But you said —–!”. Re a “book” of giant checks — we’ll print and ship whatever checks are ordered. As for binding them, the only way we can think of off the top to bind them would be to staple the stack along the short edge. This is easily done. Please remind us at the time of the order. If you have other ideas for binding them, please let us know and we’ll see what we can do. Thanks.Date: 12.7.2007 Author: Jay Stark No head-rolling necessary! Thanks for your prompt follow up! Regards, Jay REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Shipped!Date: 12.7.2007 Author: Jay Stark Hi, Thanks for the quick replay. Actually, I did order BKB-05, from this page: http://www.trixiepixgraphics.com/books/generic_book_any_title.html Which, when you go to checkout, shows as BKB-02, so looks like there is a mixup on your site. My confirmation stated the correct title (see below) Customer’s First Name Jay Customer’s Last Name Stark Email: jay.stark@XXXXXXXX Title of Book Bono: Bloodline of John Calvin By (Name of Author) Rev. Jason J. StXXXXXX Upload an Image bono-cover02.jpg I Agree Not to Use This Product for Illegal and/or Fraudulent Purposes Yes Let me know how to fix this. Thanks in advance. Regards Jay REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: You are absolutely right! We’ll have this fixed within about 30-60 minutes. In the meantime, there’s nothing you need to do. We’ll make a corrected book and try to have it on the way to you tomorrow. We apologize profusely! Heads will roll!Date: 12.7.2007 Author: Jay Stark Hi, I just received my order (blank paperback book). However, I ordered my own title, and the book arrived with the pre-text “Everything I know about…” was mistakenly added in front of my title. How do I get this corrected? Thanks in advance. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: That is actually the product you ordered. The blank book with “Everything I know about….” is located at this url and has a stock number of BKB-02: http://www.trixiepixgraphics.com/books/generic_book.html The blank books that do NOT have anything before your title are located at this url with a product number of BKB-05 http://www.trixiepixgraphics.com/books/generic_book_any_title.html Your order details are shown below: ORDER DETAILS: Item: (customizable blank books) BKB-02 Quantity: 1Date: 12.6.2007 Author: Jill We loved them but need 10 more (5 more orders of 2) Any chance we can save me from having to retype all the info and just resend from files. You just did them a few days ago and I received them last night. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Thanks. You’ll need to complete a form in order to get to the payment area, but the form can be just gibberish (actually, most of it is pre-filled). You’ll need to enter a valid email address, and perhaps type a few random characters into one or two more fields, but yes, to answer your question, you do NOT have to re-submit the data. We do keep copies of all forms and we can re-process the order from them. Just submit a gibberish form, then go through the payment process, and we’ll have a sticky-note here reminding us to use your same data for this new order under this name.Date: 12.5.2007 Author: Jina We would like to order one of your giant checks 5′ or larger but want it to be stiff and rigid, not flexible. I noticed you roll ship it. Can you create a 5′ or larger check that is stiff and rigid and is shipped not rolled up? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: As you probably know we have two models of giant checks that are “hard mounted”, one of which appears at this url: http://www.trixiepixgraphics.com/giant_checks/FCH-14_giant_checks.html The VERY large check you’re referring to is not available as a hard-mounted check due to the cost of shipping. It would require, essentially, a huge wooden crate to protect it, and would have to be shipped via truck as opposed to UPS or any other “regular” carrier. In any case we don’t have the machinery to hard-mount the very large one, only the size shown on the above link. Sorry. The only solution is to order the very large size, then mount it at your location using a foam or gator-type board with spray-adhesive (which is what the Cash Rewards folks do).Date: 12.4.2007 Author: Lukia What is the weight of the paper that you print wrap on? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: There is no weight listed for this paper — it’s as heavy as any wrapping paper you’ll ever find.Date: 12.4.2007 Author: TH I received my notice from USPS today and I noticed it said Signature Confirmation. I am assuming this means it has to be signed for when delivered. If so, can anyone sign or must it be the person whose name is on the package? Thanks. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We actually don’t know the answer to that. Sorry!Date: 12.3.2007 Author: Steve I would love to have a giant crossword puzzle standing in the kitchen for the holidays when family will be visiting. I am not about to have the time or durability to create one on my own. Can I send you a published crossword within your word limitations and have it ready in a couple of weeks? I’ll take care of the standing in the kitchen piece of this. Thanks. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Especially this time of year, we can only accept orders through the regular interface on the product page. You can supply whatever words and clues you want for the puzzle, but you must enter them into the form. As for being ready in a couple of weeks — all products are shipped within 72 hours (or 24 hours if RUSH is chosen during checkout).Date: 12.2.2007 Author: Sam Hi, My Invoice No. is 6293, Order No. is42641894, Transaction ID is 1642009630 I would like to cancel the order (both of the 2 items) as soon as possible please. It’s because I do not need them anymore as my friend has bought them already. PLEASE CANCEL THE ORDER ASAP. Thanks very much. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We have no other orders for this product today going to Canada, but we do have all of your requests for a customized product — then your cancellation. Your order will be cancelled after 10:30 P.M. Pacific when the daily batch gets submitted. It may take several days for the credit to show on your statement. Please do not order from us again. We had set up a special template for your order, which is expressly against our policy but we did it anyway, awaiting your data for the certificates. We’re very sorry, but we just don’t have time for this kind of thing, especially this time of year. This was a $17 item with a profit margin of about three bucks. When we’re forced to go through a series of interactions like this we actually LOSE money. We must take whatever steps we can to prevent actually losing money on any customer.Date: 12.2.2007 Author: Sam Hi, I have just placed the order of a Pregnancy Paper and a test kit. Regarding the Pregnancy Paper, can the lab name, address and the logo shown on the top of the paper be customerized? It’s because I am not living in the US and it’s too fake (I want the laugh long enough to have a shock for everyone) to have the US lab address showing on the paper. Please let me know if the lab name, address and logo can be customerized. If the lab name, address and logo can’t be customerized, would you please cancel my order of the pregnancy paper while only processing (keeping) the order of the test kit? ThanksDate: 12.2.2007 Author: Sam I am placing the order of the “Pregnancy Paper”. I would like to know if the name and the address of the lab can be customerized? It’s because I am not living in the US. ThanksDate: 12.1.2007 Author: tony REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: My last name is Antonio Chavez. Please let me know of the posting. Thanks! REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Please let you know of the posting? –Not sure what you mean. Your order was shipped yesterday and your tracking number and shipping notification were both sent at that time from different sources. Please check your email.Date: 11.30.2007 Author: Tony Hi, I am based in NY. I just paid for this item. I need to know if this book will be printed today. I know its 2pm at your location, hence will you be able to print it? I need it by Thursday Morning and I am afraid that it wont make it. Thanks,Tony REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We would need your last name or order number to look up your order, but anything that is ordered today (Friday) should easily arrive to any customer by next Thursday.Date: 11.29.2007 Author: T I would actually like to cancel my order. I changed my mind. I find I don’t have the heart to pull such a mean prank. So will you please please please CANCEL my order? And all the money will be put back on my card? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: You were notified YESTERDAY of your tracking number. Orders that have ALREADY SHIPPED cannot be cancelled. (!) RE the “meanness” of this joke — if it was intended to be mean, even for one second, the product should never have been ordered. The product page admonishes the customer to CONSIDER CAREFULLY before ordering. These are intended to be used for FUN, on people who have a liberal sense of humor. We do not want these products to be used in ANY hurtful way, EVER. Anyone can walk into a hardware store and buy a big old BOLT — and then walk outside and throw it through someone’s window. But that’s not what it was designed for.Date: 11.29.2007 Author: mary roberts I have been trying to order and it says auth. code wrong I typed it right. is there a way to order from you? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Not sure if you’re speaking of the anti-spammer security code required to submit a personalization form, or if you’re speaking of the 3-digit security code from your credit card. If the former, try clearing your browser’s cache or just stop and restart your browser, then submit again. If the latter, the three-digit code on the back of your card must be typed in correctly during checkout or the system will automatically decline the transaction. We’ve had no other reports of problems today and all other orders have come through without a problem.Date: 11.28.2007 Author: M. First of all, thank you for your quick service. I paid for expedited shipping and it was very quick. Unfortunately, I am a bit disappointed with the product. While the product description does state that there will be an identifying thing on the test kit itself that notes it as being only for entertainment purposes, it doesn’t say that will be stamped on the TOP OF THE REPORT ITSELF! In fact, your exact wording is”Each kit contains all the goodies you need to utterly convince your mark the test they’re taking is legitimate. An instruction sheet it attached to the test box which denotes that the test is a joke/gag product, not to be taken seriously. This must be removed in order to open the test kit box. No other documentation, inside or outside of the box, reveals that the test is not authentic. You receive two certificates: one for a “match”, and one for a “mis-match”. Use the one you want and discard the other.” Plain and simply, this doesn’t make a very good gag gift when the first thing anyone will read is “for entertainment purposes only.” Obviously, I wanted the gag to last a little while (just long enough for shock value) and with that wording it won’t! No biggie… It wasn’t horribly important. But I do sort of feel like you should state in the description that it is noted on the certificate. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Yes, the delivery was quick — something like 20 hours from the moment the order was placed. Re the disclaimer, sometimes products can evolve slightly while the descriptions don’t get updated (eighty lashes to the persopn responsible). The instruction sheet used to be physically attached to the box in such a way that it could not be opened without breaking the little seal and removing the instruction sheet. We changed that so that the certificates themselves now, obviously, display the disclaimer. We have updated the product page appropriately.Date: 11.28.2007 Author: Tom I would like to order custom gift wrapping paper, If I send in a picture collage could the entire collage be printed on your wrapping paper? What would the cost be for the 6ft. and 15ft. sheet? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We’re not exactly sure what you’re asking. First, we don’t offer a 6 foot version — only the 15 foot (which is actually more like 16 or 17 feet, just for good measure). The width is 36 inches, or three feet. As far as a collage covering the entire paper, we just don’t know how to answer. Do you mean you want ONE single image to cover the whole paper? Or do you mean you want all of the collage images to repeat across the paper without any spaces?Date: 11.27.2007 Author: Brenda I just spoke to the credit ccard company and they said the charge o my card was approved even thou you declined it due to my shipping and billing address not being the same on file with the credit card company. So are you shipping it or what is going on? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: If, indeed, this is what your bank has told you, then your bank has lied to you and we would pay you $50 cash for a legal transcript of their words. Seriously — we will pay you $50 for a legal transcript of your bank telling you that “we” have charged your card. We’re going to paste in, directly below this reply, the paragraph that appears prominently just above the link you used to initiate this correspondence, which explains this problem. You’ll find this paragraph posted all through our site. We would do just about anything to entice people to ACTUALLY READ the help sections we post. We are sick beyond belief and comprehension of banks pulling this particular dishonest stunt in direct contradiction of the best interests of their customers. It’s dishonest, it’s sleazy, and we’re not even convinced it’s legal. The paragraph in question appears in large red print just a few inches above the text you are reading now. You had to scroll past it to get to this correspondence window. We have NOT charged your card — even if the transaction had gone through (which it positively did not), it is not actually consumated until 10:30 p.m. Pacific when the batch gets submitted for processing. This is yet another instance of YOUR BANK putting a lock on these funds so THEY can utilize those funds for a few days for free. Sometimes a customer will submit half a dozen tries before getting their address right — and, you guessed it — THEIR BANK takes the money for EACH AND EVERY ATTEMPT and holds it until they “feel like” returning it to you (usually 3-10 days). This happened to US once, three times in a row, on a $4800 transaction for a piece of manufacturing machinery. Take that scenario times many millions across the country, and you can see why the banks just get richer, and their customers get inexplicably poorer. We URGE customers of banks who pull this odius little stunt to find a bank that doesn’t. Here’s the paragraph that appears just a few inches above, and in many other places throughout our site: “You charged my card twice (or thrice) even though my order was declined! What kind of rip-off bastards are you, anyway?! Please remember: Even in the case of a cancelled order, YOUR BANK will still reserve the funds that would have gone to pay for your order. This is the policy of YOUR BANK, and we have no control over it. Your bank will usually clear those funds within a few days. Please do NOT email us to ask why we charged your card, when the order was cancelled. We have NOT charged your card in this instance. It is the policy of YOUR BANK, and we frankly feel it’s ridiculous.” Date: 11.27.2007 Author: Brenda I placed an order on 11-27 and it was declined due to a mismatch of the billing and the shipping address. I called the credit card company and that is the correct address on file. I thinkk the phone number was wrong becasue it has been changed. Should I resummit with the correct phone? Or will I be charged twice? Can you call me so I can place the order? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: You can retry at any time. If a transaction is declined, you weren’t charged by us. HOWEVER — many banks put a hold on the funds even when the purchase was declined. The BANKS do this, NOT US. They release the funds after a few days. Why do banks do this? It’s a sleazy, underhanded way of using your money for a few days for free, and it causes every business an untold amount of grief because customers think that the retailer has done this.Date: 11.26.2007 Author: M. I posted another message this morning but haven’t seen it or a reply to it posted here. I also still haven’t received further e-mail replies. Could you please update me? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: See below. We’re sorry it took us a couple of hours to get back to you, but we do have many, many customers and questions are answered through several different forums in the order in which they were received.Date: 11.26.2007 Author: M. I placed an order last Monday 11-19-07. I received one follow-up e-mail but no more. I also realized my card hasn’t been charged. If there was some problem with the processing, I can supply another card. I am eager to get this order since it’s for a birthday present/gag gift and I want to make sure it’s on it’s way. Thanks so much! REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We’ve done an exhaustive search for any order containing the last name of “Marlaina” and we find only one entry as follows. This transaction was automatically declined due to a mis-matched address (the address you entered didn’t match what your card company has on file). Here is a partial copy of the email that was sent to you within about 60 seconds of your order attempt: Customer Payment Error ============================================ The following customer has attempted to submit an order. The payment failed due to the error below. The customer has also reviewed this error. Payment Processor Error: The transaction resulted in an AVS mismatch. The address provided does not match billing address of cardholder. (Reason 27) Order No.: 42144010 Date: 11/19/2007 Date: 11.24.2007 Author: Doug Greetings, I just received my create-your-own newspaper today. The speed in which you filled the order is amazing. You folks also added an inset photo that was great, thank you. Only problem is that I ordered a poster-size newspaper but received two full newspapers. I can return these if you like, but I would like the poster. Maybe we can work out a deal. Copied this from the entry form: Main Image Upload: L:,01_1.JPG Inset Image Upload: Have You Included: YES What Size/Format: POSTER ($39.95) (1 copy) I agree to check my email: YES Please do not fire anyone, stuff happens Thanks! REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: AAAARRRRRRGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!! You’re right — dang we hate it when we screw up. We’ll have the poster size out to you on Saturday for a (hopefully) Monday delivery. We apologize. In the meantime please try to get some mileage out of the regular newspaper size.Date: 11.21.2007 Author: Michele I used my mothers credit card to purchase the pregnancy test on 11/21/2007 and it has already been taken out of the account.. I changed my mind and don’t want the product.. I would like for you to credit her card back and not send me the preggo test.. please respond asap. thanks IP address24.163.16.38 REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We have located an order that was placed with the last name of “Coeburn” on 11-20-07 at 8:05 p.m. Pacific, NOT on 11-21 (which is today). You were notified at 9:16 PM on 11-20 that your order had shipped. You were also sent a tracking number directly by the carrier at that time. Once an order has physically left the building, which this did YESTERDAY, we have no way to stop it.Date: 11.20.2007 Author: Mellissa I am trying to order a pregnancy ultrasound but everytime I enter the authenication verification # it won’t let me get to the next page to purchase it..what do i do??? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We see that occasionally when a customer clicks back and forth from the product page a few times; it sometimes confuses the security verification thingy. If you know how to clear your browser’s cache, that will usually do the trick. If not, try shutting down your browser, then restarting it. When you complete the form, click SUBMIT only once. That should take you to the next page. If that still doesn’t work, let us know and we’ll turn off the security/verify thing until you’ve placed your order. Always remember, computers suck.Date: 11.20.2007 Author: Greg Want to speak over the phone to see if a rush order still is possible, I understand I’m not looking for a large purchase (only 1 or 2 WHOLE newspapers) but its a prop for a great film, and I’d love to get it still. Please get in touch if possible. Thank you so much. Greg (201)214-9817 http://www.djvfilms.com REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Sorry, we positively do not do phones for the reasons listed on this page: http://www.trixiepixgraphics.com/misc/contact.html We do process RUSH orders every day, usually many times per day. When a customer specifies RUSH during checkout we do everything humanly possible to get the order to them as quickly as possible. There is nothing that can be communicated over the phone that could make the process any faster. If we recieve any RUSH order on Tuesday it would ship out on Wednesday via an overnight method. In this case we would use USPS as they “say” they deliver on holidays. But even if they don’t, they would deliver on Friday. If you’re more comfortable with Fed-Ex you can specify that, but they will positively NOT deliver on Thursday. We will never, ever use UPS again (see our UPS Sucks website).Date: 11.19.2007 Author: Doug Witham I ordered some custom gift wrap. Looked great but the ink smears easily. Hard to wrap anything without leaving the wrap a mess. Don’t know if it’s the paper or the ink, but you could improve the product. Your attitude toward products and customers comes thru clearly on your web site so I thought you would want to know. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We’ve reprinted a portion of your paper to try to determine what was “up”. Your logo for GAL Elevator Devices contains large blocks of pure black. It appears that the person who printed your order was trying to compensate for the “washed out” look that can and usually does occur when using a solid, dark color and a media (gift wrap) that was designed (1) to never be printed on in this manner and (2) be thrown away. After an hour of allowing the ink on your logo to dry, we found there was minimal smudging. After several more hours the black portions could still be smudged if not handled carefully, or if handled with moist hands. In other tests we find that it is only the black that smudges, and only when the saturation levels are too high. It seems that, when printing “on demand” on this type of extremely cheap paper, the result is going to incorporate one of the two problems — either a faded image if the ink saturation is kept light enough to avoid smudging, or smudging if the ink coverage is sufficient to avoid the faded look. It’s just the nature of this cheap paper. On the product page we do require that the customer acknowledge that their image may appear faded. We do not, however, ask the customer to acknowledge that their image may smudge if the saturation levels of black ink are high and the areas of dark, solid color are large. We will add that caveat now to the order form. There is nothing we can do to alleviate either problem except to stop using “real” wrapping paper stock, and switch to another media that would not look nor feel like true gift wrap. We need to know if this paper is going to be useable for you, or if you would like to return it. We apologize for the inconvenience but there is nothing we can do to alleviate this problem if the customer wants “real” gift wrap. We find that “real” gift wrap from the store can also be smudged if handled with moist hands.Date: 11.19.2007 Author: Greg Shooting a film in a week, need a prop newpaper custom written on the coverpage. Can I order tomorrow (monday) and get it before friday? Be advised this is a holiday week. Thank you in advance. -Greg REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Please specify RUSH during checkout — in that case your order will process and ship out on Tuesday for a (hopefully) Wednesday or Friday delivery. We BELIEVE it would show up no later than Friday, but we refuse to guarantee the behavior of the carriers. Theoretically it would actually show on Thursday (Holiday delivery), but the carriers have not been good at honoring their holiday deliveries.Date: 11.17.2007 Author: H I recieved my order today. thank you so much for quick delivery. i do have one question though, printed above the ultra picture is a resolution chart of some sort? and a smaller version is printed on the ultra picture, i was just curious as to what this is? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We’re not really sure how to answer this. Are you actually saying that you don’t know what this is? We’re sorry, but we have answered question after question after question from you, all of which were utterly unecessary. A test pattern is just that — a pattern that is often printed next to an image for the purpose of calibrating the tones and contrast level of the image itself. Some ultrasounds incorporate this pattern into a print, some do not. We have elected to include it. If you do not like it, cut it off. We’re sorry, but we are unable to process any orders from you in the future.Date: 11.17.2007 Author: maricela Hi is there any other way of ordering besides credit card? Thru mail cash or money order or even just a prepaid visa REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Sorry, no. We’ve even been burned on prepaid cards because there is no registered address associated with them. Credit and debit cards are the only options at this time.Date: 11.15.2007 Author: Tim Sewell I’d like to mirror your hewlettpackardsucks pages – how do I do this? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We were looking for mirrors at a time when HP was throwing all their legal might at us, trying to get the page removed from public view. At that time there was a possibility that it could have been removed, though only for a short time while we overturned any injunction. But those attempts have stopped, as they finally realized they had no legal (or moral) grounds to remove it. They also engaged in some VERY questionable activities from a legal standpoint, and we believe they didn’t want those activities challenged or aired, so they have backed off. Because there is no longer a threat to the content, we are no longer seeking mirrors. We have also set that content up on multiple servers worldwide which will automatically kick in without any intervention from us, should the main page go down. Thanks for your offer; at this point the best thing you can do to support the page and the issue is to link to it.Date: 11.14.2007 Author: H thanks so much for all your help! I just placed my order and I just want to double check that I will be recieving PLAIN ULTRASOUND #1 since the item # seems to be the same for all of them. Thanks so much! The order #41954692. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Yes, you will receive what you ordered.Date: 11.14.2007 Author: H this should be my last question. I did read the shipping information page, but I just wanted to ask to be 100% sure. I am getting ready to place my order and I’m curious if USPS will be the definante carrier for my item, so that I can possibly make arrangements with the post office to pick up my mail before work rather than after, and since I plan on choosing Rush Order, if it will go out in tomorrows mail possibly so that I can have it in a few days, hopefully by Monday? I wish I would have found your site sooner than today! I’m so sorry for all the questions! REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We will be processing a batch of orders before midnight tonight (2nd shift ends at midnight). That means yours would go out tomorrow (Thur) by USPS Overnight. Since “overnight” does not always MEAN overnight, we would expect a delivery to you on Saturday or Monday (USPS technically is supposed to deliver overnights on Sundays and holidays, but we’ve never once seen them actually do it). We wouldn’t expect a case in which it would arrive later than Monday, but since the carriers do sometimes amaze us with incompetence, we don’t guarantee ANYTHING. We once had a UPS shipment (not USPS) in which they delivered an overnight exactly thirty (30) days late — then steadfastly refused to refund the cost of shipping. We sued them and won, of course, but many dozens of experiences like that with various carriers have left us gun-shy to say the least.Date: 11.14.2007 Author: H Ok, following up with my question below, these fakes are believable at first sight? Also, do you plan on having these available for different weeks of pregnancies? I wanted to do one that would resemble around 12 weeks if so. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We have no way of knowing what you, personally, think is believable or not. We’ve explained how we create these — that’s all we can do. Re different stages, we do plan to add more, but at this moment, what you see as available to order on the product page is what’s available to order. No more, no less.Date: 11.14.2007 Author: H I am wanting to order one of the fake ultrasounds as a gag gift, but can you tell me, aside from the statement that says “for entertainment purposes only” how close to a real ultrasound photo these actually resemble simply for shock factor I don’t want them to realize the minute I pull it out that it’s a joke. Thank You for your help. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We’ve studied numerous types of ultrasounds over the years. Ours reflect all of the features in “real” ultrasounds that tend to LOOK real. However many real ultrasounds today are being printed by inkjet printers onto plain letter-writing paper. Since those don’t LOOK real, even though they ARE real, we don’t offer anything like that. We’ve incorporated all the facets of real ultrasounds that LOOK real, while omitting things that, while real, don’t look real. The “For Entertainment Purposes Only” disclaimer is a legal thing.Date: 11.12.2007 Author: Erika Hi I placed my order at 1PM. But Hopefully I’ll be able to cancel it. Please. I don’t know what my order number is but my full name is Erika Innamorato and my invoice # is 41863324, and my transaction number is 1619267338. Thanks….. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Ma’am, in our previous reply to you we stated very clearly that all orders that had been placed prior to 5 p.m. Pacific had already gone out. Now you reply back and state that your order was placed about 1:00 p.m., so you sure hope you can cancel it. How would you like us to respond to something like that? Let’s say your flight left at 2 p.m., but you got to the airport at 4 p.m. Would you then demand to be put on the flight that left at 2 p.m.? We don’t understand how you think things like this are possible.Date: 11.12.2007 Author: Erika Hi, I would like to cancel my order that I placed 2day. How do I do that? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: All orders placed up to 5 p.m. on Monday the 12th have been filled. If you’re referring to an order placed after that you would need to give us the order number (four digits, appearing in the subject line of the emailed order confirmation) or at least provide your last name.Date: 11.12.2007 Author: Gabe I submitted my article but haven’t gotten anywhere where I could pay for it and checkout. Please let me know how to place the order. I’ve tried using different browsers and turning off my pop-up blocker, but nothing works. I do, however, receive multiple emails confirming what I wrote in the article, but nowhere to pay! Thanks REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: When you click SUBMIT to submit your personalization form, you are presented with a screen which shows what you’ve submitted and asks you to print it for your own records. At the top of that screen is a huge link which says CONTINUE. Click it. That begins the payment process. If you are not being taken to the page with the huge CONTINUE link on it, please let us know. We have tested it from our end and it appears to be working properly.Date: 11.12.2007 Author: Gabe I submitted my article numerous times, but didn’t receive the “Thank You” page as you say in the instructions. Also, when I click on checkout, theres nothing there. I’ve tried Mozilla and Explorer, and have turned pop-up blocker off. How do I order? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: When you click SUBMIT to submit your personalization form, you are presented with a screen which shows what you’ve submitted and asks you to print it for your own records. At the top of that screen is a huge link which says CONTINUE. Click it. That begins the payment process. If you are not being taken to the page with the huge CONTINUE link on it, please let us know. We have tested it from our end and it appears to be working properly.Date: 11.11.2007 Author: roderick i sincerly hope that you recieve this & make the changes on my order it is very important the “n/” that is between the name sue and #2. should be removed it was a typing error that only showed up on the email u sent me i didn see it when i submitted my order not that im assigning blame just lokkn to resolve & recieve the same quality product ive recieved from you in the past REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We regret that we cannot fill your order. You have ordered from us many times, and while we might be inclined to see that as customer loyalty, the number of changes you submit, and the number of problems you have with nearly every order makes it simply too difficult to process them. For instance, all through the website and the form submission process we state in large, bold letters that changes to an order may ONLY be submitted through the regular form interface, and never, ever by email or by this page. For whatever reason you steadfastly refuse to follow that rule, and on virtually every order we end up trying to sort through and deal with a plethora of updates, changes, and “could you just…” requests. When we process your changes you then sometimes accuse us of making a mistake, when we clearly did not. We’re sorry, but we are unwilling to process further orders from you. We have credited back your card. You should see the credit within the next 1-4 business days. Thank you for understanding.Date: 11.11.2007 Author: roderick i recieved confirmation & its wrong i apologize there should not be anything between the name a.k.a sue and the #2. typing error REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We regret that we cannot fill your order. You have ordered from us many times, and while we might be inclined to see that as customer loyalty, the number of changes you submit, and the number of problems you have with nearly every order makes it simply too difficult to process them. For instance, all through the website and the form submission process we state in large, bold letters that changes to an order may ONLY be submitted through the regular form interface, and never, ever by email or by this page. For whatever reason you steadfastly refuse to follow that rule, and on virtually every order we end up trying to sort through and deal with a plethora of updates, changes, and “could you just…” requests. When we process your changes you then sometimes accuse us of making a mistake, when we clearly did not. We’re sorry, but we are unwilling to process further orders from you. We have credited back your card. You should see the credit within the next 1-4 business days. Thank you for understanding.Date: 11.11.2007 Author: roderick un4tunely iam not on myown computr so i cant wait 4 ur reply ive dealt w/ur company w/good results several times in the past and expect the the same as 4 my additional word please just credit me as i intend to use us services again but i am concerned usually i recieve a conformation email directly as io complete my order i havent in this case is there any reason y? please complete my order w/the 1 word and ill cu u soon Peace! REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We regret that we cannot fill your order. You have ordered from us many times, and while we might be inclined to see that as customer loyalty, the number of changes you submit, and the number of problems you have with nearly every order makes it simply too difficult to process them. For instance, all through the website and the form submission process we state in large, bold letters that changes to an order may ONLY be submitted through the regular form interface, and never, ever by email or by this page. For whatever reason you steadfastly refuse to follow that rule, and on virtually every order we end up trying to sort through and deal with a plethora of updates, changes, and “could you just…” requests. When we process your changes you then sometimes accuse us of making a mistake, when we clearly did not. We’re sorry, but we are unwilling to process further orders from you. We have credited back your card. You should see the credit within the next 1-4 business days. Thank you for understanding.Date: 11.11.2007 Author: roderick i submitted a request 4 a fake dicitionary w/1 additional word but didnt see prompts that allowed me to enter the additional word what are my options REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We regret that we cannot fill your order. You have ordered from us many times, and while we might be inclined to see that as customer loyalty, the number of changes you submit, and the number of problems you have with nearly every order makes it simply too difficult to process them. For instance, all through the website and the form submission process we state in large, bold letters that changes to an order may ONLY be submitted through the regular form interface, and never, ever by email or by this page. For whatever reason you steadfastly refuse to follow that rule, and on virtually every order we end up trying to sort through and deal with a plethora of updates, changes, and “could you just…” requests. When we process your changes you then sometimes accuse us of making a mistake, when we clearly did not. We’re sorry, but we are unwilling to process further orders from you. We have credited back your card. You should see the credit within the next 1-4 business days. Thank you for understanding.Date: 11.9.2007 Author: denise i would like to order the marriage certificate #22 but it does not give me a place to put my information that i want on the certificate so what do i do now REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Please read the product description on the product page. It clearly explains that this particular item is not personalized by us. There is a graphic image showing exactly how the certificate is completed at home.Date: 11.9.2007 Author: Raleigh What is the normal turnaround on custom wrapping paper? I would need 4-8 rolls of the same design. Thanks. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Please read the “About Shipping” page. The turn-around on all orders is 36 hours if regular shipping is specified during checkout, or 24 hours if RUSH is chosen.Date: 11.8.2007 Author: lynda Thanks for your reply. Have a great day guys -you provide an awesome product, which Im still searching for in Aust. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Thanks. The thieves of the world are really making things difficult for good customers.Date: 11.8.2007 Author: juanita white FROM: juanita white 4044 paulding avenue bronx, NY 10466 United States 718 652-2126 spiritrising3@aol.com You attempted to get 29.90 from my account six times. I want my fucking money back. If you do not respond to this email, I will take this to a higher authority JWhite REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Whatever shall ye sow, so shall ye reap. Are you ready for this? Let’s go: You attempted a total of 6 transactions with us. The first five were declined because you didn’t enter your billing data correctly. In those cases of a declined transaction, it is not us who puts a hold on your money, it is YOUR OWN BANK. Here is a pasted paragraph which is displayed in our checkout system in huge red letters: “Please remember: Even in the case of a cancelled order, YOUR BANK will still reserve the funds that would have gone to pay for your order. This is the policy of YOUR BANK, and we have no control over it. Your bank will usually clear those funds within a few days. Please do NOT email us to ask why we charged your card, when the order was cancelled. We have NOT charged your card in this instance. It is the policy of YOUR BANK, and we frankly feel it’s ridiculous.” You could have read that paragraph during checkout (pretty damned hard to miss it). And you could have read it just above this form on this very page, were you of a mind to FIGURE OUT THE PROBLEM BEFORE LAUNCHING INTO AN EMBARASSING PUBLIC TIRADE. We BEG you to “take this to a higher authority” as you promise. That “authority” will simply shake their heads at you and will advise you to simply go TO YOUR OWN BANK, because it is the doing of YOUR OWN BANK. Then that “higher authority” will likely physically remove you from their office — which is what we would have done had you given us the opportunity. Below we’ve listed your transactions. MOST regrettably, the single transaction that did go through for a fake pregnancy test was shipped out days ago. But be sure of this: That is the last product you will ever get from us. You’ve been blocked from interacting with us in every single way that a person can be blocked from interacting with us. If you EVER contact us again, even once, even to apologize, we will file criminal charges against you so fast it will make your head spin. We do not have your money; we’ve never had your money; the funds from your errant transactions never touched our account, not even for one microsecond. Go rant and curse at your own bank, because we WILL NOT ABIDE YOU. You may take your complaint and shove it because we’ve had a belly-full of customers who act like this. 1612585341 41637558 Settled Successfully 06-Nov-2007 09:42:06 white, juanita M XXXX0018 USD 29.90 06-Nov-2007 22:22:32 USD 29.90 1612584512 41637532 Declined 06-Nov-2007 09:41:33 white, juanita M XXXX0018 USD 29.90 06-Nov-2007 22:22:32 USD 29.90 1612583834 41637522 Declined 06-Nov-2007 09:41:05 white, juanita M XXXX0018 USD 29.90 06-Nov-2007 22:22:32 USD 29.90 1612583571 41637478 Declined 06-Nov-2007 09:40:54 white, juanita M XXXX0018 USD 29.90 06-Nov-2007 22:22:32 USD 29.90 1612581648 41637440 Declined 06-Nov-2007 09:39:37 white, juanita M XXXX0018 USD 29.90 06-Nov-2007 22:22:32 USD 29.90 1612580591 41637076 Declined 06-Nov-2007 09:38:53 white, juanita M XXXX0018 USD 29.90 06-Nov-2007 22:22:32 USD 29.90 Follow-up: Of course this imbecile replied yet again, and she has now earned herself a criminal complaint of harassment. Here’s the reply from this brainiac — and customers wonder why retailers lose patience with them. This woman clearly, in our view, is mentally handicapped: “I am fully aware of your no return policy. I am not asking for the cost of the kit which is suppose to be $29.90, NOT $179.40. I expect to see the return of $141.50 in my account IMMEDIATELY, OR THERE WILL DEFINITELY BE CONSEQUENCES. I also expect my kit to be delivered shortly. I have already informed the bank of your criminal behavior JWhite” Note: This woman’s bank will automatically release the reserved funds within a few days, five, or ten — whatever is the policy for her particular bank. She will then UNDOUBTEDLY assume that she “scared” us into refunding her money, even though, of course, we never had the slightest influence over her bank’s policies. We feel that reserving funds on declined transactions is one of THE most egregious and dishonest stunts a bank can pull, and we’ve severely chastised many for it. But banks will be banks, simply because they CAN, and no one can stop them. Still, we do not believe that any human being as dog-stupid as this disgusting broad should be let out in public without a keeper and a leash; yet, like a clogged toilet, the world is overflowing with them. Do aliens send these people here to torment us and drive us apoplectic? Seriously, where do people this stupid come from? How do they operate and survive in day to day life? How do they find their ways home at night? Inquiring minds want to know! This ham-fisted, ignorant pig of a woman has caused us to withdraw just a little further from our customers. Customers like this have a cumulative effect on good businesses. They wear on them, and, given enough time and enough fools like this woman, the business can end up not caring AT ALL. They can eventually begin to see their customers as little more than an adversary. Sure, we try to forget these head-cases and remember the vast majority of decent, logical customers, but face it — customers like this idiot are hard to forget and just one of them can overshadow a hundred nice customers who don’t cause trouble. Every business in the world suffers from people like this woman, and per capita they seem to be on the rise. Fetal Alcohol Syndrome?Date: 11.8.2007 Author: lynda Thanks for your reply re postage to Australia -thats a shame. Is it possible for me to order from Aust., but select my friends address in USA as the delivery address (and then he can personally post it to me) ? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We ship ONLY to the registered billing address on the card that’s being used, so if you’re using a card whose billing address matches the address it’s being shipped to, that will work. But if it’s a foreign card, the system won’t accept it. Yes, it sucks and it blows. We are trying everything we can think of to find a way to go back selling worldwide, but so far no financial institution wants to step up to the plate and set it up. It’s worse than a shame, it’s ridiculous.Date: 11.8.2007 Author: Sara I would like to know if u all could deliver to singapore.. extra postage are no problems.. cause i noticed you only deliver in uS n canada.. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Singapore was one of the first countries to be X’d off our list when fraud became a problem for us in early 2007. We still ship to Canada only because Canadian banks honor the AVS system and we can force a delivery signature. Here’s an example of how we were treated last time we shipped to Singapore: http://www.truth-or-consequences.com/idiots/mysore_india/international_shipping.h tml (remove the space between the “h” and the “t”)Date: 11.7.2007 Author: lynda Hi. I want to order from Australia. I proceeded through the checkout process but at the country selection you only had USA or Canada from the drop down box -how do i get around this ? Also at any stage during the process do i get a preview of what the newspaper page will look like ? Thanks REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We’ve had to drop Australia due to credit card fraud problems. We’re looking for ways to continue selling overseas without getting ripped off by the fraudsters, but so far we’re having no luck whatsoever in finding a reliable method. Re a preview, no. We’ve tried every preview-type script available and most are difficult for the customer to use, and all are buggy.Date: 11.7.2007 Author: Francisca Hi… I need to have custom wrapping paper made with my logo. I would need 3 rolls… how long would it take to make?? I need it to reach me by next Monday/Tuesday for a company event. Is this possible?? Thanks!! REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: If you choose “RUSH” during checkout your order will be processed within 24 hours. It then ships via an “overnight” method. We do NOT, however, guarantee overnight methods to arrive overnight, due to the flakiness of the carriers (all of them). But assuming your order ships out from here on Thursday (we need to receive the order as early as possible on Wednesday), it “should” not be a problem arriving by or on Monday. Notice how careful we are to never guarantee the actions of others (i.e. the carriers)! We really don’t trust them. Odds are about 98.5% this would work out fine.Date: 11.5.2007 Author: Chris C I am looking for a Red Cross Certificate (WSI) Water Safety Instructor. Do you have or can you make a fake certificate up? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Sorry, that’s not something we would ever consider making a fake version of.Date: 11.4.2007 Author: karen i want to add words on the personlized dictionary. I can’t figure out how to get to the form to add additional words. Please help REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: After submitting one word on the form, just backspace and complete a new form. Do this for each additional word. We very seldom get requests for more than one word. Thanks.Date: 11.3.2007 Author: Alexis annst12@yahoo.com Hello. I placed an order thursday morning. When I put in my credit card information, I kept getting an error message saying that the billing address and credit card address on file did not match. I used another card after the second try and it was accepted. I received a confirmation number and paid the bill. As of today there are two charges on the first credit card I used for the same product. Basically, it looks like I bought the same item three times, twice on the first credit card, and once on the second credit card. Completely ridiculous. I would like the two charges removed from the first credit card, considering i received an error message stating the the transaction was cancelled due to an address mismatch. I will not pay $90 for a product I ordered for $30. Could someone please contact me ASAP. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We seem to be answering this same question alot lately. This is a practice by YOUR BANK. We have even posted an explanation of this phenomenon in the checkout flow. We’re sorry you did not read it. When you make ANY transaction to almost any card, even if it’s declined, YOUR BANK puts an automatic hold on those funds. WE DO NOT GET THAT MONEY. It is never placed into our account; we never see it; it never gets entered into our books. It is YOUR BANK that does this, NOT THE STORE. In this case we have, once again, gone into the system to make absolutely sure this was the case in this instance. It is. Your first two transactions were DECLINED. We did not get those funds; we did not see those funds; we have nothing to do with the hold on those funds. Once again, in case anyone else is actually reading — YOUR BANK has done this. Please take it up with THEM. Since we have so many customers trying to place orders that put their cards over their limits we have, as mentioned, explained this in some detail on a page that automatically pops up during the checkout process. It is really best if customers read EVERYTHING that is presented to them during ANY checkout process. It can save everyone involved a lot of time and trouble. Your bank will release your funds when your bank feels like it. We have royally chastised countless banks over the past ten years for this reprehensible policy, but of course banks will be banks. Please contact YOUR BANK with questions about funds that YOUR BANK is holding. Here’s a cut and paste from our statement showing that your first two transactions were DECLINED and the funds were never forwarded to us. We’ve blocked out the important transaction numbers because this is publicly viewed. If your bank still gives you grief over this, let us know and we’ll supply the full numbers which they can trace. Banks tend to usually release your funds after about ten days (they get to keep the interest on countless millions during that 10-day period when the funds are in their possession). For future reference, when you must communicate a simple problem to an honest retailer, words like “ridiculous” are not taken well when used to describe a company’s behavior — especially when that company has done nothing wrong and it is THE CUSTOMER who has neglected to read the answer to the problem. 1606642727——— Settled Successfully 01-Nov-2007 03:05:31 Nutter, Alexis V XXXX2116 USD 29.90 01-Nov-2007 22:16:56 USD 29.90 1606641283——— Declined 01-Nov-2007 03:03:54 Nutter, Alexis M XXXXXX63 USD 29.90 01-Nov-2007 22:16:56 USD 29.90 1606637173——— Declined 01-Nov-2007 03:00:51 Nutter, Alexis M XXXXXX63 USD 29.90 01-Nov-2007 22:16:56 USD 29.90 Date: 11.1.2007 Author: cynthia what do the fake pregnancy tests look like? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Strange as it may seem, they look JUST LIKE the many pictures of them on the product page.Date: 10.31.2007 Author: Kimberly Why does my e-mail from the company that ships the package say it’s being shipped to the billing address I provided and not the shipping address? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Please read the HUGE red warning on all fake pregnancy product pages. This is what it says: WARNING WARNING WARNING: Due to a large number of orders using stolen credit cards, the billing address you enter into the payment section must exactly match the address your bank has on file for your credit or debit card. If the information doesn’t match, your order will be CANCELLED. ALSO, we will NOT ship this item to any address except your registered BILLING address, regardless of any different shipping address you enter at checkout! We’re sick and tired of credit card fraud! WARNING WARNING WARNING: Due to a large number of orders using stolen credit cards, the billing address you enter into the payment section must exactly match the address your bank has on file for your credit or debit card. If the information doesn’t match, your order will be CANCELLED. ALSO, we will NOT ship this item to any address except your registered BILLING address, regardless of any different shipping address you enter at checkout! We’re sick and tired of credit card fraud Now please read a similar warning in huge red print that is displayed during the checkout process. It states that almost all shipments are sent to the buyer’s billing address, regardless of any shipping address that has been entered. Rampant credit card fraud has required this policy since the beginning of 2007. Thank you.Date: 10.30.2007 Author: Arden Could I possibly send an Acrobat (.pdf) or InDesign file of a newspaper design I developed to have printed on newsprint? It would be whole size (eight pages.) A file would be supplied and I only ask that you print it for me? Please… REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: That would be a standard type of thing. Just upload your files using the regular submission form (you may want to zip them — just make sure the file names reflect the page numbers). When we see whole pages come in as graphics images we automatically know to set them up and print them. We do actually prefer the pages to be jpg images, saved at 100% quality, at a minimum of 150 dpi at print size. Thanks.Date: 10.29.2007 Author: Laura Heyyy, I ordered yesterday and recieved a tracking number off the shipper today wow that was fast, but i was just wondering roughly how long it takes for the item to arrive in england, united kingdom thanks 🙂 REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We often buy shipping labels in large batches, and when we do, each customer is sent their respective tracking number. This is done BY THE CARRIER< NOT US. However that does not mean the item has actually shipped. Shipping will usually occur within a few hours, or possibly the following day. You’ll receive a new notification when the order actually ships. As far as shipping time, it’s hard to predict to the UK, but GENERALLY not more than 5 days. We’ve seen items arrive in the UK in a blazing two days — no idea why some take 2 days, and some may take as much as ten working days. Some have taken 30 days or more if they get hung up in customs. Please see our “About Shipping” page for more detailed info. As for the UK, we had actually turned off ALL International orders in our shopping cart. Your order from the UK should not have been possible. We’ll check with our credit card processor and see why this went through. Since it did go through we’ve honored it, but we will make sure that sales to all countries outside the US (except Canada) are once again blocked. The problem is credit card fraud. In 2007 it has become rampant from foreign countries — up by perhaps 20-30 times over previous years. We continue to rack our brains, trying to come up with a reliable way to accept credit cards overseas, but so far we’re having zero luck. The main problem is that many or most overseas banks will not transmit address verification data (AVS) to us, so we have no way of knowing if it’s the actual account holder doing the ordering, or if it’s a card thief. And there are other problems as well.Date: 10.28.2007 Author: pharmer hey , i dont understand how dna collection kit work, all i want is too have my name and someone else name on it and….we re not related. i know it says the dyn testing will send a match and a mis-match. can i get 2 mis-matchs, instead of a match. idont understand the part where it say customer name and donor 1 and donor 2, which one where i put my name on and which one does the person i dont want to be related too be placed thank please write back ,, once i know what im doin then i will order. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: The customer name is just for our records, so we can match your form to your payment. It doesn’t print anywhere on anything. The gag test is designed to show if donor 1 is related to donor 2. If two people already believe they are related, then this fake test would tell them they’re not. You recieve a MATCH certioficate with donor 1 and 2, and a MIS-MATCH certificate with donor 1 and 2. Use whichever certificate you choose and throw the other away.Date: 10.25.2007 Author: Judy I filled out the crossword puzzle items..tried to submit..would not lead me into the shopping cart. would like to order. what do I do? do I have to reorder. Also, I need this QUICKLY! Just found your sight. by Thurs. Nov 1..any chance??? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We’ve actually processed two of these today and have heard no complaints re the payment process. We just now ran a test purchase through the Giant Crosswords page and it went through without a glitch. When you submit the form you’re taken to a results page which you really should print. But on top of that page there is a huge blue CONTINUE button that takes you into the secure server for payment purposes. You can test the form by entering gibberish into the fields (although the email field needs a real email or it will error). We suggest restarting your browswer, clearing its cache, and even rebooting. Unfortunately from our end we can find no problem at all. Please let us know, however, if it’s still sticking after trying the above, and let us know exactly what it does and what you see when it stops working. In general, just trust us when we say, “COMPUTERS SUCK.” Nov. 1st would not be a huge stretch. It “should” arrive using regular shipping, but RUSH would guarantee it by Nov. 1st.Date: 10.25.2007 Author: Ashley Hi I am from Australia and just found your website i am very impressed by your jokes. I was just wondering if you can send the purchase i want to sydney Australia. When i go into shipping it won’t let me cause i don’t live out your way. Can you please send me somethings too oz even if i communicate through the e-mail its just we don’t have anything like that here. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We would LOVE to be able to ship to you in Australia. Up until mid 2007 we shipped to every country in the world. Orders from Australia were common. But beginning around the first of the year, 2007, credit card fraud went through the roof. In the past ten years, up to 2007, we’d lost a total of perhaps $5000 to CC fraud. In the six months since January 07 we lost over $10,000 in that time period alone. The vast majority of this was from International sales. One by one we started shutting down sales to the worst offenders, like the UK, India, then Singapore, Hong Kong, etc.. As the fraud level from each country became unacceptable, we shut it down. Australia was one of the last to go. New Zealand WAS the last to go as we were nailed four times in one week from NZ. The problem is two-fold: (1) we have no way to verify the card holder’s registered billing address on foreign credit cards, and (2) we have no affordable or reliable way to force a signature for deliveries made to foreign countries. We’ve researched this ’till the cows come home; no financial institution, including Paypal, can give us a reliable solution to International orders. That hurts and it bites. We’ve lost about 20% of our annual revenue simply due to the loss of International sales. We wish we had a solution for you. We don’t, and we don’t see one in sight. You can thank creepy little thieves like THIS: http://www.truth-or-consequences.com/idiots/mysore_india/international_shipping.h tml We have considered setting up a system which accepts CASH from foreign customers, but who wants to send cash? Not us. Even foreign bank drafts, cashier’s checks and wire transfers have their problems. We simply don’t have a solution for our great customers in places like Australia. We’re always open to suggestions.Date: 10.24.2007 Author: Chris Hi, Is it possible to get a whole newspaper format paper with no photographs on the front or back covers? Thanks. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: No problem. The ads may still appear — will that work? After placing the order immediately send us a message here to stipulate no pictures. Thanks.Date: 10.24.2007 Author: Danielle I am trying to order a fake ultrasound to fool my mother, who already thinks I’m pregnant. I want the one with twins on it. However, I also wanted to know if you had some with only one baby on it (e.g. one ultrasound with a baby facing left, and another ultrasound with a baby facing right). Also, on the webpage it says that the certificate is 8 x 11.5. Isn’t this a bit large to be passed off as an ultrasound? Or does it just come on a page that big? What is the actual size of the ultrasound itself? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: The actual ultrasound image is about 4 x 8 inches. We add a bunch of stuff and print on a full sheet because some customers want it to look more “official” even if that means it doesn’t look as realistic. We understand that many customers cut out the actual ultrasound image and toss the rest. As far as other ultrasounds not shown on the website, no, what you see is what you get.Date: 10.23.2007 Author: Meredith I would like a quote for 5 different version of wrapping paper with 300 of each. This would be a total of 1500 rolls. I would need them before Christmas. Is this something that could be accomplished. Please advise. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We can certainly handle the volume but could not be competetive on price. Your best bet is to go directly to a wrapping paper printer (a la Hallmark or some such) and have them print a few commercial-sized rolls. You’ll end up with more product at a much lower price. Our price even at that volume would not be a great deal lower than what is listed on the product page currently. The margin on this product is small. Thanks for thinking of us, however.Date: 10.22.2007 Author: daniel Date of Newspaper: Saturday, October 20, 2007 Newspaper Name: Laredo News Obit Text: David Leonard Padilla. Laredo, Texas. David Leonard Padilla, 92 years old, entered eternal life on October, 19th 2007, at North Austin Medical Center in Austin, Texas, after a long, hard battle with cancer. David was born in Baltimore, MD, to Gustavo Padila and Evelyn Padilla on February 3, 1915. He joined the U.S. Marines when he was 17. He was an exceptionally qualified welder with many years of experience. In his later years he found fulfillment in teaching his skill to many students at Bloomington community College in Laredo, Texas. David is Pre-deceased by his wife of many years, Evelyn Padilla ; sons, Ricky and Raymond Padilla Jr.; daughter Janie P Montez ; 19 grandchildren; many great grandchildren; two sisters from Baltimore, Margarita Mendoza and Sylvia Huerta. The family will receive family and friends at their home in Laredo, Texas. A Funeral Service will be at Columbia Funeral Home chapel on Monday at 1 p.m., with entombment at Sunset Hills Mausoleum following. Flowers & gifts • Charities • Guest Book Man, Husband, Father, Grandfather and Friend, you will be Greatly Missed I rec 2 confirmation notices, this is the copy I want. Have any questions please call me…Thanks! REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We have no idea what this message is for. Are you submitting an order? If yes, please use the regular order form which will then take you through the payment process. Are you making an update to an order? If yes, please follow the instructions and submit a NEW FORM. This message, whatever it is, will be ignored. Updates or corrections MUST (MUST!) be submitted by using the regular form interface (obviously you would not go through the payment area twice — just submit the form by itself). Thank you. UPDATE: At 20:52 hrs your order came up in the queue for processing. We had not received your updated form. Your order has been cancelled and your card refunded.Date: 10.22.2007 Author: Yvonne Mojica Hi, Looking to order some custom wrapping paper: We are wrapping small boxes and your 3×3 design template is a little bit too big for us. We are interested in your “full coverage pattern” printing and were wondering if we provide the artwork, could we apply that “full coverage pattern” printing process to a wrapping paper design/output. Many thanks in advance for your help with this, Yvonne REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We understand the problem with the image size and we can easily reduce it for you, depending on the image. Re full coverage, we really try to shy away from that using this media due to hockling problems with heavy ink coverage. We’ll do it if you insist; we charge DOUBLE for full coverage, and you must acknowledge that you may see hockling in the paper. Please give us permission in writing to add the double charge, and please acknowledge the possibility of hockling. Thanks.Date: 10.20.2007 Author: Paula Thanks. Acutally I changed my mind. I’ll just do one story in English. I submitted it a few minutes ago. If you have ANY problems getting this processed can you please call me on the cell or email. It’s for a birthday and it’s very important that I have this on hands by Nov. 2nd. I know you can’t be respossible for the carrier, but please do what you can to get this processed quickly. Do I have to be home to sign for the package or will they leave a note on the door to pick up? Thank you so much. I appreciate it. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: You always have the option of choosing RUSH during checkout. We require a signature on ALL fake pregnancy items (which this is not, obviously), and we require a signature on all other items in which certain flags are triggered by our shopping cart. There do not appear to be any flags on your purchase, so no signature will be required. Thanks.Date: 10.20.2007 Author: Paula I wanted to have the story in English and another language, on the same page. Can I write the story in a foreign language, or will that delay the process? I would need this by Nov. 2 REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: The procedure is this: Complete two forms, one for each story. After completing the second form, click CONTINUE to continue on through the payment area. Choose a quantity of “1”. We will manually add a $10 charge to your card for the setting up of the second story. Language doesn’t matter. Your deadline “should” be fine, but when it comes to these shipping carriers we make no promises! Thanks.Date: 10.18.2007 Author: joanna please tell me if you do all of the type settings for the fake magazine and newspaper REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: It’s all done automatically, from your form submission to our templates (eg no manual re-typing = no typos unless the customer sends typos in the form). We’ll ocassionally entertain a special request for a particular font in a particular place, but if a customer wants any appreciable degree of custom work we urge them to create their own page(s) and save them as bitmaps; we’ll insert that content into our pages..Date: 10.17.2007 Author: daithra neher its not even going through…i need help i called my bank my address is changed its ur system thats not taking it please help REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: It may take your bank 24 hours to make the change.Date: 10.17.2007 Author: daithra neher iam the acct holder i just changed it and its still not going through my bank told me u guys can call and for ver please help… REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: It may take your bank 24 hours to make the change.Date: 8.31.2007 Author: CJ Can I order just the fake paternity results certificate with the information on it without the rest of the kit? If so, how fast can the order be shipped or emailed? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Sorry, no, the product comes as a set. For information about shipping times please see our “About Shipping” page at the following link: http://www.trixiepixgraphics.com/misc/about_shipping.htmlDate: 8.31.2007 Author: Sarah Just a general question do you or can you make a 42″ x 70″ dry erase Sudoku… THX Sarah REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We don’t offer one in that size but if you are supplying your own image in that size we could easily print on our regular larger size and cut it down. Same price either way. Thanks.Date: 8.31.2007 Author: Terri Didesch I just tried to submit an order for a Giant Check and I kept receiving anerror message that the name and the address for the VISA did not match. This does not make sense as it is what we use everytime we order without any problems. My boss, Janeen VanSlyke just received a confirmation for our order submission but this did not have an order number on it. Does this mean that the order did not go through. Terri REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: It could be that vendors you’ve been ordering from have a relaxed policy with regard to address matching. We’ve been hit so hard by fraud in the first half of 2007 that we had to adhere strictly to our processing company’s guidelines. Chances are there’s some little detail in your address that doesn’t match what the bank has on file for your card. If you are unable to resolve it please let us know and we’ll process it manually for you over the phone. Sorry for the trouble — we wish the world was “scammer free”. (your order did not go through).Date: 9.2.2007 Author: ML I attempted to place an order online (dry erase crossword puzzle) and received a message that my order could not be placed. I am using a VISA distributed by my school district, and the shipping took the total to $103. I don’t understand why my order could not go through REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: When an order is rejected by the bank you are sent an automated email with a rather cryptic error code. For instance if it says [Reason 2], that means the card was over its limit. [Reason 27] means the address you entered didn’t match the address the bank has on file for that card. Those are by far the two most common errors. We often receive complaints about address mismatches; however if we ship to any address except the exact address that the bank has on file, we are often not paid by the credit card processor. We now must adhere strictly to the address requirement. Please look up the address that your bank has on file for your card and enter it exactly into the address fields in our shopping cart. If you still have trouble please let us know and we’ll handle it another way. We apologize profusely for your grief — this stuff drives US crazy when WE try to place orders online. But we realize that all online vendors are in a virtual war with credit card scammers these days, especially over the past 8-12 months. We are all paying the price for those people. UPDATE: FYI, we have just now looked up the error code on your order — it was [Reason 2] (usually (not always) means card over limit)Date: 9.4.2007 Author: Chevon I just wanted to know do you guys do fake prison release papers or could you REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: No, nyet, nos, nein, nada, not ever. Sorry.Date: 9.5.2007 Author: Melissa How much would a set of 50 custom text small print newspaper articles be? Or do you have a price scale for number of copies available? Thanks so much. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: On a quantity that low we can’t really do much wheeling and dealing. We sometimes throw in a few extras anyway, and if you were to specify a quantity of “4” during checkout, we would make sure you would end up with about 55 copies in this one instance.Date: 9.5.2007 Author: ML I made a second attempt to purchase a wall-size dry-erase crossword puzzle (140 words), using a school-issued credit card. The amount on the card is more than I need to make the purchase. My district even gave me your merchant category code #, but your website will not allow the purchase. Do you have a phone number that I could make the purchase over the phone. Human contact is good! REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We did see the transaction attempt come through a little while ago. The error code as issued by your bank is still [Reason 2] (usually (not always) means “card over limit”). If we were to run the transaction over the phone we would be using the same card processing system, which would issue the same error again. It could be that other errors would trigger the same response code, that we’re not aware of. But we would still get a “declined” if we ran it. We would suggest paying particular attention to the 3-digit security code on the back of the card. We’re sorry but there is really nothing we can do to get around that particular error. All other orders today are coming through without any problems, so it does not appear to be a glitch at our bank. Perhaps a payment has been sent to your card but has not yet been credited to the account. Date: 9.6.2007 Author: ashley IP: 67.191.214.202 i’m just curious about your fake dna tests. do people really fake those and show them to a guy they want to be their real babys daddy?? isnt that illegal? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Hello in Atlanta! If you walk into a novelty shop and buy a pet rock, and go outside and throw it through someone’s window, isn’t that illegal? We really do try to answer all questions, but honestly…… Date: 9.6.2007 Author: monica Hi I haven’t recieved my order yet. I went to the USPS webpage and it says there was an attempt for a delievery, and a message was left, however I didn’t get any notification of any attempt to deliever or any paper from usps. Thank You REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: When you run your tracking number and it tells you that a delivery attempt has been made and a note has been left, it also tells you that you may wait for another delivery attempt or you may pick the item up at your local post office. We recommend the latter. This is something you must resolve with the post office. We have no control over any of the shipping carriers. Here is the data from your tracking number pasted in below. This tells you what to do: We attempted to deliver your item at 12:14 PM on August 25, 2007 in SACRAMENTO, CA 95835 and a notice was left. It can be redelivered or picked up at the Post Office. If the item is unclaimed, it will be returned to the sender. Information, if available, is updated every evening. Please check again later.Date: 9.12.2007 Author: Maureen Birchall CAN YOU MAKE ME A FAKE SERVICE DOG DOCUMENT ? ANY INFORMATION WOULD BE HELPFULL REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: An EXCELLENT idea. We’ll offer them for sale just as soon as we can find time to create some templates. Do you have something you want to model it on? If so, please scan it and we’ll give you a link to upload it to. Great idea! UPDATE: On further research, we find there are two or three aspects of liability in creating the “fake service dog” certificates that we’re not willing to open ourselves up to. We’ve found several suppliers of what amounts to the same product — their certificates are cheesy and their prices are insulting, but we believe at this time we’re going to leave that market to them. Sorry.Date: 9.13.2007 Author: LOVE ONCE I SUBMIT MY ORDER IS THERE ANYWAY I CAN SEE THE COMPLETE VERSION BEFORE IT SHIPS OUT REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We don’t normally send out a proof on orders of less than, say, 20 copies. Your order will look similar to the product depicted on the product page — except, of course, the personalized portions of the data will be yours. Over the years we’ve used a number of different software “solutions” which purportedly allowed customers to actually arrange their own stories (or other products) on the website. Unfortunately, ALL have proven to be so buggy, so unreliable, and so frustrating for the customer to use or so limiting in what they would allow the customer to arrange that we’ve discontinued them. It’s possible to get such scripts to work fairly well in the design of something simple like a business card, but even then they’re problematic. For more complex products we’ve found that the customer just ends up getting angry, trying to get the product to display as they want it. We’ve had one (1) complaint in nearly ten years from a customer who was unhappy with the way we arranged her newspaper. Unfortunately, she had submitted her headline in a way that was expressly and specifically advised against, and we had no choice but to hyphenate one of her words. Please take advantage of any little green question marks on the personalization forms; they explain in detail what’s expected in each field. If something is unclear when we process your order, we’ll email for clarification.Date: 9.13.2007 Author: Maureen Birchall I am a 65 year old lady who happens to have a wonderful great dane dog, and no one will rent to me. they have a 25lb weight limit. I don’t have a copy of one to copy. I have lung cancer and I have to move closer to my son. Anything you can do will be a wonderfull help REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We hate to reverse ourselves again, but we’ve spoken with our attorney on this and it DOES seem that we can offer something along this line after all. We’ll work something up as soon as we can find time and make it available from the home page. It could be a week or three. Sorry, but we’re just swamped with other projects right now.Date: 9.13.2007 Author: Maureen Birchall GOD BLESS YOU, MAUREEN, AND HER DOG NAME ANGELDate: 9.13.2007 Author: craig Upload Your Image (the bigger the better) zombie_target.pdf What Part of Image Do You Want Centered? I need an estimate for about 100 of these. Cheap newsprint is fine, print as is. What would be the cost? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We don’t normally read the unpaid form submissions — it was a fluke that we happened to see yours before it was deleted. Normally, please use our CONTACT link on the top of every page. What size, exactly, do you want? We happen to have a roll of newsprint here that has some wrinkles along one edge — not suitable for newspapers, but probably fine for targets (we’d send you a picture of it before printing 100 of them). Given the image you submitted (the zombie), we can do these at 23.5 wide and probably just a bit taller for $100 plus shipping. Shipping would probably run around $9-$18 if you can use regular 3-day Priority. Date: 9.16.2007 Author: Admin Ashley: We received your order # 6012 this morning. You then emailed to say you wanted to cancel the order due to a typo in the form. We replied and advised that we could cancel the order after 10:30 p.m. when our batch went through processing, or you could submit a new, corrected form WITHOUT GOING THROUGH THE PAYMENT PROCESS AGAIN. We have now received your order 6013. You apparently went through the payment process ONLY, and did not submit a form for that order, whether corrected or not. At this time we are cancelling both orders. If you wish to order again, please do the following: (1) Place the order by starting with the personalization form, as usual. (2) MAKE SURE THE DATA YOU ENTER IS CORRECT!! (3) After submitting the form follow the prompts through the payment process. (4) If you need to make a correction, SUBMIT A NEW FORM. (5) If you need to make a correction, DO NOT go through the payment process again! As of this moment you have NO pending orders. Both have been cancelled. Your bank (not us!) will usually place a temporary hold on the funds that you allocated for these two orders today. Your bank (not us!) usually holds these funds for several days before releasing them. Thank you. Date: 9.18.2007 Author: Donna Ephgrave If I do not have a picture to insert in the front of the book what else would go there? Would the book cover just have text on it? Please don’t be mad at me for asking this question? Your website is hilarious. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Yours is a perfectly legitimate question — we LIKE legitimate questions. Questions that drive us crazy are such as: “HEY DUDE HOW MUCH ARE THOSE FAKE NEWSPAPERS ANYWAY CAN I PUT A PICTURE ON ONE DO YOU SEND THEM TO FLORIDA HOW SOON CAN I GET ONE WILL IT SUCK DO YOU TAKE CHECKS?” Re the fake softcover books, if you don’t supply a picture we will usually (if time allows) try to find something appropriate for you. We don’t advertise — our success is strictly word-of-mouth, and the fake softcover books are one of our favorite little products; we spend FAR more time on them than we should. People keep them for decades, and they are like little inanimate commercials for us. We can’t “guarantee” to make yours a masterpiece of art, but if we’re not too busy we do try to make each one special, even if no picture has been submitted. Remember, however, that if we’re busy, the cover will be just text if no pic has been supplied. Still, even then, we’ll make the text decorative and pleasing. Softcover books are the one item that allows us some creativity, and that’s what we’re in this for. Thanks.Date: 9.19.2007 Author: Michael Wow. Received your “Fake Newspaper” yesterday. The quality of your product is fantastic. Very Impressed. Thank You Michael Terry Spellbound Enterprises REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Given some of the outrageous, abusive customers we’ve endured of late, this means more to us than you can imagine. Thank you.Date: 9.22.2007 Author: Kassie I attempted to place an order using my Mastercard and it said error 27 address does not match, I attempted several times using different variations, same thing. I contacted my bank and the address I am using is the same address they have on file, they said they seen no reason that it did not go through. I woul;d really like to place an order ASAP, can you help me resolve this? Thanks Kassie REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Error code 27 does indeed indicate that the billing address you entered does not match the billing address your bank has on file. Sometimes that can be something as small as a mis-match in the four-digit zip code extension. The problem is that if we override the system and force the transaction to go through, we may not get paid. In the past 8-12 months this has taken a huge toll on us and our iron-clad rule now is to never, ever override the system. There is SOMETHING in your address that’s not matching your bank’s files. The only solution is to figure out what that is. We hate this even more than you do. Unfortunately there is no other solution. Date: 9.23.2007 Author: Sharon I am trying to order your fake pregnancy test for a gag gift to someone at work. However, it is saying I have exceded the number of times I have tried to submit. That is because I typed in the authentic code wrong or something. Can you re-set my thing so I can buy something on your website? We’ll keep watching to see if your attemps are just slow in coming through the system to us. When you’ve exceeded your “max attempts” within a certain time period, that filter will reset itself after awhile — unfortunately each error has a different reset time, and since we don’t (yet) know which error you’re generating, we can’t tell when the filter will reset. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We are showing NO order attempts under your name. We see your form submissions coming through, but our system shows no attempts to make payment through the shopping cart. Since there are no transaction attempts showing, there is nothing we can reset. We do show quite a few attempts this morning under different names, all of which were rejected for various reasons (card over limit, address mismatch, etc.), but none used your name. Date: 9.25.2007 Author: dotty my email keeps comming up as incorrect…why.. is it because its to lont to put the .com at the end thanx REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We assume you mean that you are trying to enter your email address into one of our forms, and it is rejecting it for some unknown reason? If that is correct, please tell us which form, exactly, and we’ll go beat it into submission. Forms are “supposed” to accept email addresses as long as 255 characters, because the email format allows for that many characters, but programmers sometimes don’t know this, and so set up a form to accept only what “they” consider to be a reasonable number. If we know which form is doing this, we can fix it. Thanks. (PS: Your email address in THIS form is complete, even though, visually, it scrolls past the end of the field box)Date: 9.26.2007 Author: Va Elsten Va Elsten pensacola fl I placed an order for a fake prescription on Sept 22 and paid an extra $46.95 fo 2 – 3 day delivery. It has not arrived as todays mail delivery. I am leaving town this evening for the event this order was ordered for. You stated on the order form it was 2 – 3 days for the rush delivery so I felt confident it would arrive on time. If I thought otherwise I would not have ordered it. I feel I was misled. I am disappointed that it didn’t arrive and I want a full refund. REPLY from Fakenewspapers.com: You placed this order on 9-22 (a Saturday). We promise to process (manufacture) RUSH orders within 24 hours. You were notified on that SAME DAY (Saturday evening) that your order had been made and shipped (taken to the shipping center). Naturally your order didn’t actually leave the city until the first BUSINESS DAY, which was Monday. We state over and over and over and OVER, ad nauseam, throughout this website, that RUSH orders MAY take FIVE BUSINESS DAYS to arrive, from the day they are shipped out. Your reference to 2-3 day arrival says, in reality, that orders sent by RUSH are USUALLY delivered in 2-3 days. Please read that again: It says USUALLY. This means that your order WAS NOT DUE UNTIL FRIDAY, 9-28. Your complaint, above, was sent to us on WEDNESDAY, fully TWO DAYS before your order was EVEN DUE! Let us be blunt: We are sick to the marrow of customers who will (1) NOT READ, and (2) expect their orders to arrive magically ten minutes after they place said order, and who (3) think nothing of snapping off a nasty-gram to the business EVEN WHEN THE BUSINESS HAS DONE NOTHING WRONG. We are sick of this mentality and this behavior to such a degree that words cannot describe our disgust. You have been SO blocked from ordering from us again. You will not order from us; you will not contact us. Please do not take this warning lightly. REPLY from Customer: Sorry, I just received a second mail delivery and the order arrived. I love it. I had panicked because we were getting ready to leave town. Disregard the previous message. REPLY from FakeNewspapers.com: $%%^$%%$@##$%#@@#$$!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Date: 9.27.2007 Author: Student Assignment My child has an assignment for school to create a newspaper based on a unit in her text book. She would love to have it printed on actual newsprint. Is it possible to make a whole newspaper (more than just the 1 article)? If so how long would this take to print? Thank you REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: There are two options for this case: (1) we do have templates that will accept up to six articles with pictures, if they’re kept reasonably short. We charge $10 to set up each article beyond the first. To order, just complete a new form for each article, then email us to state (a) which article is to be the “main” article, and (b) to give us written permission to add the extra charge to your card. Obviously you would not continue through the payment process until you submitted the LAST article. When paying, you would specify a quantity of ONE — otherwise the system will try to charge you incorrectly. The extra charges for setting extra articles will be manually added by us after you’ve checked out. The other option (2) is to make up each complete page that you want printed, in the layout program of your choice, using the dimensions shown on the product pages. Save your pages as a jpg at 100% quality and a minimum of 150 dpi at print size. This gives you complete control over your newspaper and its layout. We would need a seperate file for each page (each sheet has four pages: two on each side). Please let us know if you need more info. Thanks.Date: 9.27.2007 Author: OPD I ordered a Giant Check. In viewing my order, I noticed that there is the letter “n” displayed at the beginning of the second line of the name and address section of “as it will appear on the check section, as well as the letter “n” in the beginning of the second line of “bank name and address section. I have resubmitted my order twice, thinking I had originally made a typo. However, after the second attempt, the letter “n” is still in both places. Is this a gliche in your system? If not, I DO NOT want the letter “n” printed on my order. Please advice. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Yes, the odd characters you’re seeing are a glitch in the form software. We’ve posted a note about the problem on most form result pages — apparently we missed that one. The copy of your form that comes through to us does not have the “n” characters, or any other odd characters. Was it Plato who said “Kill all the lawyers/programmers”? No, wait — who was that?Date: 9.27.2007 Author: Jeff Do you have the capability to print 500, 1000, or 1500 full size newspapers? Do you have pricing for such large orders. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Yes, we have the capability, and we’ve printed orders of 2000 in the past. But we’re becoming somewhat wishy-washy about it. We can shine (and profit) in the arena of small runs, say, up to 200. Beyond that it becomes difficult to compete with the large, newspaper-dedicated offset presses (which usually have a minimum run of 500-1000). Our cost of production is relatively high, and we just can’t beat their prices on very large runs. Of course they require you to supply the complete newspaper, all sheets and all sides, whereas ours are already done for you — you need only submit your personalized content. We’re becoming wishy-washy on large runs because over the summer we were dinged for over $10,000 in printer rebuild costs, and that stung a little. We’re wondering if we want to discount our prices AT ALL, even on large runs. We had been doing large runs of the “whole” size for $8/sheet (two sides of two pages on each side), in color. The offset presses can beat that if you’re willing to supply your own content and jump through their hoops. It may be worth it to you, or it may not, depending on your specific needs. The short answer is “yes”, we “can” supply those numbers. Do we “want” to? As long as we can keep the price where there’s a bit leftover for us, and for the printer rebuilders, yes. Let us know if you still want to talk. Thanks.Date: 9.28.2007 Author: JLS I was interested in getting some custom fake newspapers printed. I need to know if you guys can print full-newspapers from our provided digital files. Basically all the spreads and layouts will have been designed, and then provided to you for print. Can this be done? If so how much would It cost (for say 5 separate custom layouts, each 1-2 pages) REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: This is a commonly requested product. The price remains the same whether we print our templates, or your complete image(s). Just use our description page for the dimensions of the format you want, and supply a jpg image for each page. Remember there are 4 pages on one sheet (two on each side). A regular order for the “whole” size by default comes with two sheets. Whatever pages you do not supply an image for, are printed with standard filler (articles, ads, whatever). Please save your layout as a jpg image at a minimum of 150 dpi at print size, using the highest quality setting for jpg images. Please avoid large blocks of heavy color (and black) as much as possible, or make them as light as you possibly can. And please try to “balance” your various components for lightness/darkness, contrast, etc. so that you don’t end up with a situation where some components are dark, some light, some with high contrast, some not — that one aspect can make or break a newspaper page. Any other questions, please let us know. Thanks.Date: 10.1.2007 Author: fred I placed a order over 10 days ago and have not heard or seen anything. Can you please check if you got this order Thanks REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We do have copies of the half dozen forms you submitted, but we have no record of any purchase. Just submitting a form without continuing through the payment process does not place an order. After submitting any form you’re presented with a huge CONTINUE link. You must click that link to continue on to the payment process. We received hundreds, or even thousands of form submissions every day, usually from kids, or from those just wishing to test a form before buying an item. Those forms that are not accompanied by payment are automatically deleted. If you wish to order, please complete a form, then follow the prompts to CONTINUE through the payment process. If you believe you did continue through the payment process, please provide us with your four-digit order number. It will appear on the top of the email, in the subject field, which was sent to you after completing the payment process. As it stands we have no record of any paid order under your name, email address, or any other search criteria.Date: 10.1.2007 Author: Donna I need to order two papers as props for a play. The content of the paper doesn’t matter but the format needs to look like something from the early 1900’s and I would like to have 2 different banner (newspaper) names. Can this be done? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Yes. We automatically use a period-specific template to more or less match the date of your newspaper. For two different newspaper names, you would, of course, have to fill out two different forms and specify a quantity of 2 during checkout. Thanks.Date: 10.1.2007 Author: Aaron I’m doing a mob-themed poker party for new years this year. I’ve already sent out the first round of invitations (14 couples) as a fake Western Union telegram inviting them to a speakeasy. What I had planned for the next round was a package with a rubber fish (courtesy of Taiwan) wrapped in a “mob-related” newspaper. The problem is, I can’t find a reasonable full size reprint from the 20’s that isn’t considered “archival” (read: expensive) and I don’t want to send it out in something from the ‘Trib last week – it will look dorky and won’t help the theme I’ve put so much time into building. I throw myself at your feet – at 2 papers for $40, I can’t possibly do 14 total reprints. Can you find it in your hearts to “make me an offer I can’t refuse”?? Thanks in advance! (and please email me a response, even if it’s “bugger off”) -ARW REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We would automatically use a period-specific template to more or less match your newspaper date. A total of 14 newspapers would require only 7 orders. If they are all the same (only one personalization form submitted) we would do a one-time discount of 20%. Please mention this when ordering. Offer good for one week from today. Thanks.Date: 10.1.2007 Author: Donna For the prop papers from the early 190 Can I get my made from scratch article printed on an inside page rather than on the front page of a full size paper? My article is in the form of Letters to the Editor. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We actually have a “Letters to the Editor” section on one of the inside sheets, but that sheet is a modern layout, not older, period-specific.. We could place your content there, or we could find a way to place it into the old content of a period-specific template (probably on an inside page of the front sheet).. Please mention this by email and include any preferences immediately after you’ve placed your order. We steadfastly refuse to get into any significantly custom work, so we will do this only if it can be done without much modification of the template.Date: 10.2.2007 Author: Donna Hi again! OK, I’ve submitted my article in the form of Letters to the Editor. If there is anyway possible, could you print it on an inside page of the newspaper please. I’d like to leave it in period-specific format if possible but if it’s easier for you to put it into your “letters to the editor” template then so be it. Thanks for all your feedback. You’ve been most helpful! REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: No problem. Yours will be up in the queue in about 24-30 hours.Date: 10.3.2007 Author: Sharon I’m trying to order a fake ultrasound but your website said I have exceeded my number of tries. My order will not submit. Can you please reset my thing so I can order from you guys? Thank you REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: You are receiving a “REASON 2” error, which usually means “card over limit”. We’re unable to help with that. The form will reset itself in time. Once you’ve corrected the problem you should be cleared to submit it again. Remember, when you receive an error from the cart, it does no good to keep submitting the same data over and over. You must correct the problem first. We believe that “gift cards” can also trigger this error.Date: 10.3.2007 Author: Sharon I only wanted to order one ultrasound not three. Can you please fix my order? My computer messed up and submitted my order three times. Thank you, Sharon Gelios REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: At this point you have not ordered ANY. Merely submitting a form does not place the order. You must also sucessfully pay for it before it becomes an order.Date: 10.5.2007 Author: August idk what the —- my numbers are any of them and i made a huge deal about my “order” and it has to be here by tomorrow other wise im going to look stupid… please dear god i need my tracking number and a number for the shippin company… and if you dont know it i’ll pay you more to find it…. please god this is huge… lol i really need this talk to me….. o and you need a customer service line cause frankly i get sick and tired of sitting around waiting around on an email when i could talk to a serious person, not trying to be a bitch, really stressed out… please help me need a tracking number and what ever else you got. basically just a copy of everything you sent me before after i bought it… thanks a million seriouly, august REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We have sent your tracking number a second time. You placed this order on 10-2. It was shipped out on 10-3 via so-called “overnight”. As you know, we no longer guarantee “overnight” to arrive “overnight” because the carriers, all of them, are lackadaisical and incompetent. That being said, you still should receive your item shortly. Express mail is not always or even usually delivered by your regular carrier. Often, or usually, it is delivered by a different carrier at a later time during the day. If there was not a problem with your address, it should arrive today. We would be surprised to see it arrive as late as tomorrow, but it could. When you order by RUSH we state that the order will “usually” arrive “within 3-5 BUSINESS days”. We have actually sued UPS twice over this kind of thing (and won), and that’s why we switched to USPS. Even then, USPS sucks. We’ve had poor luck with Fed-Ex as well. This is why we beg, plead with and implore customers to ORDER EARLY. UPDATE: Please note your tracking data shown below: Your item was delivered at 12:47 PM on October 6, 2007 in SCIENCE HILL, KY 42553. The item was signed for by A COOK. Date: 10.8.2007 Author: will can i do a heavy coverege wrapping paper? A mosaic of old magazine covers. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Yes, we do full coverage custom gift wrap, but as noted on the product page, genuine gift-wrap paper was never designed to be printed on a second time. Because of that, we must keep the coverage light to avoid hockling. We also charge double for full coverage. Just order normally, specify a quantity of “2” in the shopping cart, then leave a message here indicating that it is a full coverage print (otherwise we would send you two rolls of a partial print). Thanks.Date: 10.8.2007 Author: John Hi – If I order the full newspaper, how many “stories” can I supply for the issue (front & inside pages)? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: For the “full size”, only one story. We have a “whole” size template that will accept up to six articles. We charge $10 each to set up all beyond the first. Please fill out a new form for each story, then email to signify which story is the main story, and also to give us permission to manually add the extra charge to your card. Thanks.Date: 10.9.2007 Author: OPD My credit card was charged twice for one job. REPLY to odessa.paul-dennis@shell.com: Your card was charged twice because you placed two orders, #6056, and #6057. Both orders were shipped seperately, delivered and signed for as follows: Label/Receipt Number: 2103 8555 7490 1801 7831 Status: Delivered Your item was delivered at 10:16 AM on October 2, 2007 in URBANA, IL 61801. The item was signed for by S STRICKLAND Label/Receipt Number: 2103 8555 7490 9141 8143 Status: Delivered Your item was delivered at 10:16 AM on October 2, 2007 in URBANA, IL 61801. The item was signed for by S STRICKLAND Date: 10.11.2007 Author: Sasha Not sure if I posted this in the right place, but I would like to know if the ultra sound pics are the only ones tou have. Is there any way I could get two or three different sets. Like 10 wks, 22 wks, 34 wks? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Yes, we do plan to offer more of these. We just need to find the time to work up the templates.Date: 10.12.2007 Author: will can i get a sample of the wrapping paper stock? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We don’t send out samples, sorry.Date: 10.13.2007 Author: Cass I was actually googling a search for a road rage key chain – one that shoots missiles, etc. This is what showed up in my search: Fake Newspapers, Gag Birthday Gifts; TrixiePixGraphics: Weird and …Gag Gifts & Art, More Fun than a Halter-Top Full of Ferrets … jet rocket, rocket, missles, fire rockets, fire missles at cars, ultimate road rage, freeway. http://www.trixiepixgraphics.com/stock_posters/sp34_road_rage.html – 6k – Cached – Similar pages I am trying to find a key chain such as this to purchase, but when searching through your site, couldn’t find it. Do you have it and if so, how do i order it? Thank you. REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Here’s the url for the original product, sold by the case only, sorry. http://www.trixiepixgraphics.com/keyfobs/kp4_road_rage.html Date: 10.14.2007 Author: Stacey I need 110 copies of an article. Any pricing discounts? Secondly, having already submitted an article I need to switch the major and inset pictures with each other. Do I need to resubmit the whole thing? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Yes, it’s an iron-clad rule. To make updates or corrections you must submit a new form. When your order comes up in the queue for processing we automatically use the form with the most recent time-stamp. All others are automatically discarded. You will need to submit a new form in order to be taken to the payment area in any case. Re a volume discount, assuming all 110 copies are the same content, and assuming we’re speaking of the “small” size, if you specify a quantity of 7 during checkout we’ll print 110 copies for that price. –One-time arrangement, not good with any other offer, valid until 10-16-07.Date: 10.15.2007 Author: Hillary I am trying to order the giant check but the address and name field only allows 40 characters. Your example (the Michael Jackson one) has more than 40 characters. Is there any way to include more? I need to include the name of a school and their address, 4 lines with about 15 characters each. Thanks! REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We’ve looked at this situation in the form and have concluded that we want to leave the “to” field as it is at 40 characters. The reason is that any more than that, and the line begins to look bunched up and unattractive. Even 40 chars is pushing the limit of what one line can properly hold. If you are turly SURE you want many more characters, we’ll handle it like this: Go ahead and complete the form normally, except in the “To” field, type a note such as “see email”. Once you’ve completed the form and have gone through the payment process just reply to the email we’ve sent you and include the full and complete text of whatever you want in the “To” field. Also please state specifically in that email that you understand the characters may be greatly reduced in size, squeezed, or otherwise mashed and molested in order to fit them physically onto the giant check. Thanks.Date: 10.15.2007 Author: Hillary On the giant checks, how do you enter the amount? I want it to read 4436.36 in the box but I want it to say forty-four thousand dollars and 36/100 on the line. There is only one field that asks for the amount to be entered. Thanks! REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: We’ve set the form up to include only that one “amount” field on purpose, so as to reduce the time it takes to complete the form (some customers order dozens of these at a time, all with different data). The amount is automatically written out for you per your example above when the check goes to print.Date: 10.16.2007 Author: MM What overnight service do you use? and when will you process my order? REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: Please refer to our “About Shipping” page. This link appears on all of our 2800+ pages. The link is below: http://www.trixiepixgraphics.com/misc/about_shipping.html Date: 10.17.2007 Author: daithra neher i need help please i am tring to order and i just changed ny address on my credit card. and its still not going through??? what can i do can u call the bank to get auth that that is my address?? please REPLY by http://www.FakeNewspapers.com: The address you enter into the shopping cart must exactly match the address your bank has on file. If you are the owner of the account you need only call your own bank and change the address to whatever you like, then use that same address in a shopping cart. Your bank would not talk to us even if we were predisposed to calling them. Only the account holder can make changes to the account in question. |
TrixiePixGraphics 
