Certificate of Knighthood (Mick-Freaking-Jagger?!)

In December of 2003 Mick Jagger of the
Rolling Stones was Knighted by the Queen of England

Item Number — FC-43
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Mick Jagger?
Mick Freaking Jagger?!?

Are you Kidding Us?

Did we all go to bed one night and wake up the next morning to find the world had gone INSANE?

Granted, the rank of Knight Bachelor doesn’t demand much of the recipient, but still…

In olden days Royalty Knighted the strongest and the bravest because it wanted these guys on its side in case of war. Knights were called upon to be leaders in the defense of the Kingdom. We heartily concede that, in a war, we’d want folks like Arthur C. Clarke on our side. Maybe even Sean Connery. Maybe. But Mick Freaking Jagger? We submit the Crown would be better off, in time of war, to throw a bag of ferrets at the enemy and then run like Hell.

MICK JAGGER?
Spare us.

The Crown could get more for its credibility by selling it on eBay.

The actual “certificate” is little more than a typed note (see below). The maid could have made it on her coffee break. So we made a nicer one.

The “Real One” (above)

A Better One (below)

Not a sexual deviate? Not a druggie? Not a shameless wimp?
Rejoice! Just because you don’t measure up to the Queen’s standards
doesn’t mean you can’t still be Knighted. Heck, we’ll Knight you even
if you aren’t a whacko! Jacko.

For Entertainment Purposes Only, of Course…

Image depicts a texture which is printed onto smooth stock. Media is not textured.
Gold seal in lower left is pressure-embossed onto certificate, not printed.

The example below shows how Pee Wee Herman’s name would be integrated into the certificate.

(no doubt he’ll be Knighted soon).