You know how hard it is to find a TRULY unique gift. Well, now you’ve found one. Representing some of the finest, most outrageous entertainment you’ll ever find for pocket change. You’ll receive ten (10) copies (3 copies when ordering full page format, or 2 copies of the “whole newspaper” selection). You do NOT have to supply your photo (same price either way). The backs of each article are covered in generic, unrelated text to complete the look and feel of absolute authenticity. “Pocket clippings” are printed on 36 x 36 inch pallet sheets of newsprint, then torn from the sheet to look as though they’re torn from a real newspaper—which they are! Other formats are printed life-size on individual sheets. Our articles will fool virtually anyone. You’ll keep these for years in scrapbooks and picture albums, you’ll send them to relatives, friends, co-workers, ex-friends and victims, and you’ll never again have so much fun for lunch money!
Fake/Joke Newspaper Article C-108
Those Pesky Cake Fires. Birthdays Oughta Be Illegal.
Of course the copyright notice doesn’t print
Over 143,000 people are burned alive every year by their birthday cakes. Not really. But we’ve all been to parties where the flames from the cake were almost out of control due to the indeterminate age of the birthday boy or girl and the masses of candles required to celebrate the suspicious momentous occasion. We just extrapolated a little with this piece. Could happen—you never know.
|Fake/Joke Newspaper Article Text — Copyright © 2007 TrixiePixGraphics|
|Satellite imagery shows smoke over three states–or–Firefighters struggle to save home”Cake Fire” Claims Local Home”It was like a furnace—like the furnace of Hell!” laments party survivorYourtown—- (NOTICE: Any names of towns, locations, people, institutions, etc., used in these sample fake newspaper stories, are purely fictional, chosen at random, and are not meant to portray or represent any real person, place or deed. Remember that no matter what name a writer chooses to use in any fictional story, there is a real person (or many persons) SOMEWHERE who have that exact name.)Local man Casey Jones barely escaped serious injury Thursday afternoon when a fire gutted his home in the University District. Firefighters were amazed by the ferocity of the blaze. Said Jim Blake, spokesman for LRFD, “We’ve never seen a fire spread so quickly. The ignition point must have been like the heat from a super-nova. We just don’t know what kind of accelerant could have caused this much damage in so short a time.” On-lookers said Jones was having a get-together with family and friends, and neighbors noticed a “significant glow” through the curtains from inside the house. “It was like someone was making a movie in there,” said one spectator. “Then, all of a sudden, all those people came boiling out of that house, and the next thing we knew, the whole place was in flames. It was like a bomb went off in slow motion!” Firefighters interviewed several of the party-goers, though most seemed reluctant to talk about the incident. One man, however, confided to the Times that the home-owner was celebrating his birthday when the problem began.”Casey’s cousin, Joann Huntsford, had just brought the cake out into the living room and was lighting the candles,” admitted the man, who requested that his name be withheld. “There were more candles, and more candles, and pretty soon that cake was roaring like a gasoline fire. Everybody started moving back. The children were crying, ‘No more Mommy! No more!’ The heat was really getting fierce. Pretty soon, even the candles that weren’t lit just started melting and falling over. The frosting on the cake was beginning to vaporize. Then it got hard to breath in there.” Fireman Blake explained that, due to the size of the flames, the oxygen was likely being removed from the room. “It’s lucky they got out when they did,” he conceded. “That cake was like a giant flame-thrower.” Mr. Jones suffered only minor burns when he tried to retrieve one of his birthday presents, but friends and family likely thwarted the grim reaper by admonishing the man to forget the cheesy gifts and save his own skin.”I owe them my life,” admitted Casey. “I do.”When asked just how many candles were on the cake, the crowd grew quiet and refused to reply.|
See “Old as the Hills” Page D-5
Personalize and SUBMIT the form.
Then click “CONTINUE” to go to the payment page.
Follow the flow through the Shopping Cart check-out.
To make corrections please submit a new form. Once
your new form has been submitted, you’re done. DO NOT
go through the payment process again unless to wish to
pay for and receive additional newspapers.
To create your own story from scratch,
using your own main image, please
click HERE instead of using this form.
Volume Discounts are available during checkout
Whole Size $39.95, (Whole Newspaper With Headline), 23×27 inches, 2 identical copies
Whole Size $87.50, (Whole Newspaper With Headline), 23×27 inches, 5 identical copies
Whole Size $199.00, (Whole Newspaper With Headline), 23×27 inches, 12 identical copies
Whole Size $600.00, (Whole Newspaper With Headline), 23×27 inches, 50 identical copies
Small Pocket Clippings $17.95, No headline, 6×9 inches, identical 10 copies
Small Pocket Clippings $45.00, No headline, 6×9 inches, 30 identical copies
Full Page $24.95, (half sheet), No Headline, 13×23 inches, 4 identical copies
Full Page $67.85, (half sheet), No Headline, 13×23 inches, 8 identical copies
Full Page $146.95, (half sheet), No Headline, 13×23 inches, 21 identical copies
Poster Size $49.95, With Headline, 42×75 inches, 1 copy
Poster Size $217.95, With Headline, 42×75 inches, 5 identical copies
Tabloid Size $29.95, With Headline, 13×21 inches, 4 identical copies
For “Bulk” Advertising Fake News Clips, Go Here
Or….choose from three OTHER options:
Write your own story in your own words and upload any pictures you like (or none at all).
Create your own complete newspaper page using the page-layout software of your
choice, then upload that page to us and we’ll modify it to print as a newspaper.
Many fake newspaper stories/articles are available as a pre-written selection which
cannot be modified to suit. More are added almost daily. We have a HUGE backlog
of archived and unfinished stories (many hundreds).
Whole Size is a two-sheet, eight-page WHOLE newspaper WITH HEADLINE
Poster Size is HUGE, printed on stiffer poster stock; one page WITH HEADLINE
Small Size is SMALL — roughly a 6 x 9 inch “Pocket Clipping” with NO HEADLINE
Tabloid is tabloid sized, smaller than the Enquirer; one sheet, two pages each WITH HEADLINE
Full size is one full page, NOT one full SHEET; it’s an INSIDE half-sheet page with NO HEADLINE
We accept: American Express, Master Card, Visa, Discover
Fill out the following information and click ‘Submit’.