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You know how hard it is to find a TRULY unique gift. Well, now you've found one. Representing some of the finest, most outrageous entertainment you'll ever find for pocket change. You'll receive ten (10) copies (3 copies when ordering full page format, or 2 copies of the "whole newspaper" selection). You do NOT have to supply your photo (same price either way). The backs of each article are covered in generic, unrelated text to complete the look and feel of absolute authenticity. "Pocket clippings" are printed on 36 x 36 inch pallet sheets of newsprint, then torn from the sheet to look as though they're torn from a real newspaper---which they are! Other formats are printed life-size on individual sheets. Our articles will fool virtually anyone. You'll keep these for years in scrapbooks and picture albums, you'll send them to relatives, friends, co-workers, ex-friends and victims, and you'll never again have so much fun for lunch money!

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Fake/Joke Newspaper Article C-106

Happy Birthday! The Perfect Birthday Gift.

Fake Newspaper Article C-106

This piece is written to be pretty generic and "middle of the road". It's easy to modify however, and there are as many options as there are situations. In the example, your husband (or whoever) of course knows that Bush never called him. But his friends don't know that. Not for sure. So the recipient gets mileage out of showing the page around town for years, seeing how many will bite on the story. (Most everyone will, especially if ordered in the 'full page format'.)

But let's say your husband hates Bush. Just tell us who you want featured, and we'll insert an appropriate stock photo. Dole? How about Janet Reno? The Prime Minister of India? Russia's Putin? Director of the CIA? 

Maybe you have a teenager with a birthday coming up---make it Britney Spears! 

Or do you really want to 'get' your victim? Then have us say that you paid Britney Spears to call the birthday boy (or maybe you paid the Beastie Boys to call the birthday girl). But of all the rotten luck, your son/daughter WASN'T HOME WHEN THEY CALLED! (Keep 'em on suicide watch for about a week after this). 

There's no end to the twists and convolutions this piece can be adapted for. Just give it about four minutes of thought, then tell us what to do. If you're tired of ho-hum birthday gifts, this will liven things up. The best gifts are the ones that are remembered.

Fake/Joke Newspaper Article Text -- Copyright © 2007 TrixiePixGraphics
Bush in Oval Office

Bush Calls to Wish Local Man Happy Birthday

Prez Takes Time to Remember Old Friends

Yourtown---- (NOTICE: Any names of towns, locations, people, institutions, etc., used in these sample fake newspaper stories, are purely fictional, chosen at random, and are not meant to portray or represent any real person, place or deed. Remember that no matter what name a writer chooses to use in any fictional story, there is a real person (or many persons) SOMEWHERE who have that exact name.)

President George W. Bush took time out from a busy schedule on Sunday to call up an old friend—–just to say "Happy Birthday".

Local resident Casey Jones, who was 49 on Sunday, was glad to hear from his old grade school pal. "I haven’t seen George for many years," said Jones. "But I think of him a lot. We were best buddies in 5th grade. He got me out of some jams—–got me into some too!"

The Prez says he’ll always remember Casey Jones as a good an honest friend. "I can’t possibly find the time to call everyone I’ve ever known on their birthdays," says Bush. "But there are some people in your life you just have to make the time for."

Jones said he’d like to one day meet with Bush after so many years, ‘just for a cup of coffee and to shoot the breeze’. Bush expressed the same desire, saying, "You just never know what the cat might drag up onto Casey’s porch one of these days."

See ’Old Friends; Good Friends’ D-5

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Instructions:

Personalize and SUBMIT the form.
Then click "CONTINUE" to go to the payment page.
Follow the flow through the Shopping Cart check-out.
To make corrections please submit a new form.
Once
your new form has been submitted, you're done. DO NOT
go through the payment process again unless to wish to
pay for and receive additional newspapers.

To create your own story from scratch,
using your own main image, please
click HERE instead of using this form.

Volume Discounts are available during checkout

Whole Size $39.95, (Whole Newspaper With Headline), 23x27 inches, 2 identical copies
Whole Size $87.50, (Whole Newspaper With Headline), 23x27 inches, 5 identical copies
Whole Size $199.00, (Whole Newspaper With Headline), 23x27 inches, 12 identical copies
Whole Size $600.00, (Whole Newspaper With Headline), 23x27 inches, 50 identical copies
Small Pocket Clippings $17.95, No headline, 6x9 inches, identical 10 copies
Small Pocket Clippings $45.00, No headline, 6x9 inches, 30 identical copies
Full Page $24.95, (half sheet), No Headline, 13x23 inches, 4 identical copies
Full Page $67.85, (half sheet), No Headline, 13x23 inches, 8 identical copies
Full Page $146.95, (half sheet), No Headline, 13x23 inches, 21 identical copies
Poster Size $49.95, With Headline, 42x75 inches, 1 copy
Poster Size $217.95, With Headline, 42x75 inches, 5 identical copies
Tabloid Size $29.95, With Headline, 13x21 inches, 4 identical copies

For "Bulk" Advertising Fake News Clips, Go Here

 

Or....choose from three OTHER options:

 

Write your own personalized newspapers from scratch (from $17.95)

Write your own story in your own words and upload any pictures you like (or none at all).

Upload your own complete newspaper page layout (from $39.95)

Create your own complete newspaper page using the page-layout software of your
choice, then upload that page to us and we'll modify it to print as a newspaper.

Choose a pre-written bulk newspaper (cannot be modified) (from $4.95)

Many fake newspaper stories/articles are available as a pre-written selection which
cannot be modified to suit. More are added almost daily. We have a HUGE backlog
of archived and unfinished stories (many hundreds).


Remember!

-----

Whole Size is a two-sheet, eight-page WHOLE newspaper WITH HEADLINE
Poster Size is HUGE, printed on stiffer poster stock; one page WITH HEADLINE
Small Size is SMALL -- roughly a 6 x 9 inch "Pocket Clipping" with NO HEADLINE
Tabloid is tabloid sized, smaller than the Enquirer; one sheet, two pages each WITH HEADLINE
Full size is one full page, NOT one full SHEET; it's an INSIDE half-sheet page with NO HEADLINE


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Fake Newspaper Personalization Form Fill out the following information and click 'Submit'.

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*Article Number  
*Your First Name
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*Newspaper Name
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*Date of Newspaper
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*Article Headline
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*Subheader
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2100 chars for small size
4500 chars for other sizes

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changes, or updates to my
story. I agree to SUBMIT A
NEW FORM for corrections
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*I Agree Not to Use This
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and/or Fraudulent
Purposes
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