TrixiePixGraphics®  

 
Novelty Gifts and Gags that will Shock and Surprise the People You Love
Giant Checks - Fake Pregnancy Tests - Fake DNA/Paternity Tests - Fake Newspapers - FBI Wanted Posters
Fake Certificates - Custom Gift Wrapping Paper - Huge Banners - Old West Wanted Posters - Crossword Puzzles
Book Binding - Personalized Books - Fake Obituaries - Fake Prescriptions - FakeUltrasounds

TrixiePixGraphics®   4.5 Stars Yahoo Customer Satisfaction Rating    About Shipping    View Cart/Checkout
Illegal to publish, broadcast, rewrite or redistribute -- Copyright © 1982 - 2013
TrixiePixGraphicsAll Rights Reserved

Our Websites Feature Exclusive and Copywrited Artwork

None of Our Products are Duplicated

We Provide One of a Kind Originals Created by Our Paid Artists

We have a NEW Website!
Please Visit

www.FakeNewsPapers.com

www.dryerasechecks.com



You know how hard it is to find a TRULY unique gift. Well, now you've found one. Representing some of the finest, most outrageous entertainment you'll ever find for pocket change. You'll receive ten (10) copies (3 copies when ordering full page format, or 2 copies of the "whole newspaper" selection). You do NOT have to supply your photo (same price either way). The backs of each article are covered in generic, unrelated text to complete the look and feel of absolute authenticity. "Pocket clippings" are printed on 36 x 36 inch pallet sheets of newsprint, then torn from the sheet to look as though they're torn from a real newspaper---which they are! Other formats are printed life-size on individual sheets. Our articles will fool virtually anyone. You'll keep these for years in scrapbooks and picture albums, you'll send them to relatives, friends, co-workers, ex-friends and victims, and you'll never again have so much fun for lunch money!

As Seen on TV

www.dryerasechecks.com

Fake/Joke Newspaper Article C-105

You Got a Beer Bottle Stuck WHERE?

Fake Newspaper Article C-105

Your friend got a beer bottle stuck in his butt? Hey! It happens!

Fake/Joke Newspaper Article Text -- Copyright © 2007 TrixiePixGraphics
X-Ray shows predicament

Local Man Suffers More Embarrassment than Injury

"I don't usually do things like this," says patient.

Yourtown---- (NOTICE: Any names of towns, locations, people, institutions, etc., used in these sample fake newspaper stories, are purely fictional, chosen at random, and are not meant to portray or represent any real person, place or deed. Remember that no matter what name a writer chooses to use in any fictional story, there is a real person (or many persons) SOMEWHERE who have that exact name.)

A local man, Casey Jones, was admitted to Harborview Hospital in Seattle over the weekend complaining of "rectal pain".

"He came in with a blanket draped around him and walking 'real funny'," said a hospital nurse who asked not to be identified. "We didn't know what we were dealing with until--- until we got the blanket off of him. He didn't want to give it up, either," the nurse laughed.

Jones said he was at a party "just horsing around with friends, you know." One thing led to another, and before Jones realized it, he had a problem.

"We tried everything," said Jones. "It just wouldn't come out. At one point some of the guys got kind of rough. They were afraid they might have to call 911, and no one wanted to do that. So they started trying all sorts of stuff to get it out. That's when the top of the bottle broke off. That part really sucked."

"We put duct tape over the broken end of the bottle," Jones continued. "But still, no one could get it out. They all pulled and pulled. They seemed like good guys at the time. They worked on it for, oh, a couple of hours. Finally there was nothing left but to come on in [to the ER]."

Jones's friends put him in the back seat of a car, face down, and drove him to the hospital. They helped him out of the car at the ER entrance, and got the blanket around him.

"They helped me figure out how to walk. They pointed me at the doors. Then they ran like hell. They're all a bunch of bastards."

The wine bottle was successfully extracted from the patient around 3:00 a.m. He received an undisclosed number of sutures in an undisclosed location, and was sent home in a taxi.

Said one nurse, "We offered to bag up the bottle for him in case he wanted it as a souvenir, but he said that was in 'the poorest possible taste', and he stomped out. Imagine that."

Seattle PD says it has no evidence that any crime was committed, so it will not become involved in the incident.

See 'Just Old and Smelly...' Page A-11

View NEXT Fake Newspaper 

Write Your Own Fake Newspapers From Scratch
Questions about Fake Newspapers? Try Our FAQs First!
View Optional Format Samples
Email

Instructions:

Personalize and SUBMIT the form.
Then click "CONTINUE" to go to the payment page.
Follow the flow through the Shopping Cart check-out.
To make corrections please submit a new form.
Once
your new form has been submitted, you're done. DO NOT
go through the payment process again unless to wish to
pay for and receive additional newspapers.

To create your own story from scratch,
using your own main image, please
click HERE instead of using this form.

Volume Discounts are available during checkout

Whole Size $39.95, (Whole Newspaper With Headline), 23x27 inches, 2 identical copies
Whole Size $87.50, (Whole Newspaper With Headline), 23x27 inches, 5 identical copies
Whole Size $199.00, (Whole Newspaper With Headline), 23x27 inches, 12 identical copies
Whole Size $600.00, (Whole Newspaper With Headline), 23x27 inches, 50 identical copies
Small Pocket Clippings $17.95, No headline, 6x9 inches, identical 10 copies
Small Pocket Clippings $45.00, No headline, 6x9 inches, 30 identical copies
Full Page $24.95, (half sheet), No Headline, 13x23 inches, 4 identical copies
Full Page $67.85, (half sheet), No Headline, 13x23 inches, 8 identical copies
Full Page $146.95, (half sheet), No Headline, 13x23 inches, 21 identical copies
Poster Size $49.95, With Headline, 42x75 inches, 1 copy
Poster Size $217.95, With Headline, 42x75 inches, 5 identical copies
Tabloid Size $29.95, With Headline, 13x21 inches, 4 identical copies

For "Bulk" Advertising Fake News Clips, Go Here

 

Or....choose from three OTHER options:

 

Write your own personalized newspapers from scratch (from $17.95)

Write your own story in your own words and upload any pictures you like (or none at all).

Upload your own complete newspaper page layout (from $39.95)

Create your own complete newspaper page using the page-layout software of your
choice, then upload that page to us and we'll modify it to print as a newspaper.

Choose a pre-written bulk newspaper (cannot be modified) (from $4.95)

Many fake newspaper stories/articles are available as a pre-written selection which
cannot be modified to suit. More are added almost daily. We have a HUGE backlog
of archived and unfinished stories (many hundreds).


Remember!

-----

Whole Size is a two-sheet, eight-page WHOLE newspaper WITH HEADLINE
Poster Size is HUGE, printed on stiffer poster stock; one page WITH HEADLINE
Small Size is SMALL -- roughly a 6 x 9 inch "Pocket Clipping" with NO HEADLINE
Tabloid is tabloid sized, smaller than the Enquirer; one sheet, two pages each WITH HEADLINE
Full size is one full page, NOT one full SHEET; it's an INSIDE half-sheet page with NO HEADLINE


We accept: American Express, Master Card, Visa, Discover
 
Fake Newspaper Personalization Form Fill out the following information and click 'Submit'.

Delete any unwanted text in any field
Type NONE in any fields you want left blank
*Article Number  
*Your First Name
25 characters remaining.
*Your Last Name
25 characters remaining.
*Newspaper Name
(This prints)

35 characters remaining.
*Date of Newspaper
(This prints)

30 characters remaining.
*Newspaper Headline
(Whole & Poster Sizes ONLY!)

60 characters remaining.
*Article Headline
80 characters remaining.
*Subheader
(If you include an Image)

150 characters remaining.
*Byline
20 characters remaining.
*Story Location
20 characters remaining.
*Main Story Text
2100 chars for small size
4500 chars for other sizes

4500 characters remaining.
*I agree to check my
email in case there
are questions about
my order
YES
Main Image Upload
(if any)
Inset Image Upload
(if any)
*Have You Included Any
Images (above)?
YES
NO
*Size & Format for this Story?  
*I understand I may NEVER
email with corrections,
changes, or updates to my
story. I agree to SUBMIT A
NEW FORM for corrections
YES
*I Agree Not to Use This
Product for Illegal
and/or Fraudulent
Purposes
YES
*I would like an Email Newsletter to be sent to me!
Yes
No

Copyright © 1982-2009 TrixiePixGraphics.Com, All Rights Reserved

View Size and Format Options Here