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Urban Legends / Myths

C-70   Bizarre Sea Creature Caught
Catch a sea monster to impress your fishing buddies

C-55   BASE Jumper Apprehended (2nd version)
BASE jump from a downtown high-rise

C-48   Seattle Man Arrested After Monorail Stunt (2nd version)
Race the monorail down the track, thirty feet off the ground

C-49   Local Daredevil Pits Skills Against Bridge
Ride your motorcycle up the cable stay of a suspension bridge

C-40   Biggest Surf in 40 Years Hits Washington Coast
Be a big-water surfer extraordinaire

C-117    Fan Encounter of the Worst Kind (stick a weener in a fan)
We knew a guy this happened to. Sort of. We don't like to talk about it.

C-116   Crap on bin Laden
We just can't think of anything horrible enough or painful enough for the dumb ass

C-115   Alien Anal Probe
Hey. It happens. We know lots of people who could benefit from one, who deserve
one, and who probably WANT one. You know some too.....

C-37   Grand Canyon Jump Successful
Jump the Grand Canyon on your dirt bike

C-17   Private Plane Crashes Near Industrial Area
Hanky Panky at 5000 feet

C-113   Breaking Up? Get VACCINATED so it never happens again
Medical science finally announces a new treatment: This drug makes you immune to the opposite sex. Plop plop, fizz fizz, oh what a relief it is.....

C-77   Stock Market Crash
Rewrite the figures as you like, this will scare the daylights out of your investor friends

C-12   Local Woman Sought in Grisly Homicide
Tired of hubby's shenanigans? Kill him, then cast his parts far and wide

C-10   Local Man Gets Slacker Award
For the slacker who needs recognition

C-7     New Toilet Facilities Installed at Local Warehouse
Work for a cheap company? Expose them. Literally.

C-91   Brown Noser's Special
Recognition for the shameless brown-noser in every office

C-5     Genetics Research Advances
You sold your sperm 20 years ago---now it comes back to haunt you

C-42   "Organisms" on Mars Rock are Life---But Not from Mars
Embarrass the living ------ out of your boss by exposing his diseases

C-3      Headache Sufferer Diagnosed
At last, PROOF that your spouse has a screw loose

C-65   Lions and Tigers and Bears, Oh My!
Bears and critters roam your neighborhood

C-61   Bear Finds Way to Downtown
Bears and critters roam your neighborhood (variation)

C-62   Giraffe Finds Way to West Side
Giraffes and critters roam your neighborhood

C-57   It's a Boy!
No fish story here. Catch a record fish and PROVE it

C-51   Bear Finds Way to Downtown Seattle
Bears and critters roam your neighborhood

C-2    Bear Finds Way to Fife
Bears and critters roam your neighborhood (variations)

C-26   Local Woman Cured of Congenital Malformations
Expose your mean sister's sorted past; once a freak, always a freak

C-94   Smallest Male Organ in the World (G Rated)
Smallest penis in the world---someone you know deserves this

C-19   Meteor Demolishes Local Home
Get time off work when you prove to your boss how rotten life has treated you

C-74   Meteor Destroys Your Neighborhood
Scare your neighbors with a doomsday gag

C-93   Crop Circles in a Field Near YOU
Drive your friends crazy by sending them on a wild alien chase

C-81   Mysterious Object Removed in Operation
Prove to your mother-in-law that you have the POWER to send her to Zeta Reticuli

C-82   "Desktop Black Hole" Out of Control
Scare everyone you know with this science-out-of-control documentation

C-76   Organ Harvesters
Rewrite this to feature a certain neighborhood, then send it to your mother-in-law

C-75   FORTEAN Blobs
Gooey white globs of human cells which fall like rain. It's actually true!

C-53   Recent Astronomical Alignments Alter Moon's Orbit
Convince most everyone that time has been altered

C-54   Second Face Discovered on Mars Surface?
After we wrote this they DID discover a second face up there. 
Guess we'll have to make it a 3rd

C-11   Unidentified Object Over City
Everyone needs to keep a copy of this lying around. 
There's never a UFO when you need one

C-97   Goat Molester
Make your pesky neighbor SHUT THE HELL UP when 
you expose him as a goat molester

C-98   Horse Crazy
Your ex-girlfriend TOLD YOU she loved horses. You just didn't know how much

C-100  Old (old) Hookers
Everyone knows an over-the-hill gang of older gals who hang together

C-101  Broken Boner
Your husband needs an excuse for his poor performance

C-102  Over-exposed AGAIN!
Show the family what your brother-in-law REALLY does in his off time

C-103  Viagra Fatality
Viagra should come with a warning label. It does? Then it should be BIGGER

C-105   You Got a Beer Bottle Stuck WHERE?
Just boys being boys. You can blackmail guys with this one

C-99   Head Up Ass
We all know someone whose head is stuck up there. Now tell the world about it

C-44   Largest Penis (ahem) in the World (2000, 2001, 2002 Most Viewed)
Proof you're the man you think you are

C-78   WWII Heidenvolkker Restored
Show your war buddies how you restored Hitler's famed Heidenvolkker

C-71   Quake Flattens Seattle
Scare your friends who live, lived, or aspire to live in Seattle

C-72   Quake Flattens Seattle #2
Scare your friends who live, lived, or aspire to live in Seattle (variation)

C-73   Monorail Crash
Scare anyone who's ever ridden on the Seattle Monorail

C-69   Pacific Bridge Progress Ahead of Schedule
Far too many people believe this without question. 

C-67   New Traffic Lights Arrive Ahead of Schedule
A demonstration of how bizarre city life will probably become

C-64   Blimp "Lands" on Monorail
Was originally a promo for a local biz. We'll put your business name in there too

C-56   Crocodile Found in Seattle Sewer
Every sewer in every major city has man-eating crocs in it. Now you can prove it

C-52   Eiffel Tower Clone Finally Completed in Seattle
People have spent literally DAYS looking for the Eiffel Tower in Seattle. 
We feel badly about this one. No we don't     

C-25   Santa Claus and Four Reindeer Slain!
For those with a little Grinch blood who never liked that trespassing sucker

C-24   Washington's Grand Wizard for Seven Years Goes Public
eBay auctions banned this because it makes fun of the KKK

C-88   "Occupy" the Country of Your Choice!
Originally written for a Finnish client, we almost started a war

C-107   Mystery Rods
Mystery rods are very mysterious. Not really---but you can scare some kids with it

C-108   Birthday Cake Fire
The perfect birthday gag gift for the OLDER set. 
Won't work on anyone younger than, say, 40 or 50 years old

C-109   Space Cows on Mars
We know there's life on Mars. We just got tired
of waiting for someone to discover it

C-120   Unexploded Bomb in YOUR Yard
Precision Bombing (aka "The Sky is Falling")

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