Write Your Own Fake Newspaper
Urban Legends / Myths
C-70 Bizarre Sea Creature Caught
Catch a sea monster to impress your fishing buddies
C-55 BASE Jumper Apprehended (2nd version)
BASE jump from a downtown high-rise
C-48 Seattle Man Arrested After Monorail Stunt (2nd version)
Race the monorail down the track, thirty feet off the ground
C-49 Local Daredevil Pits Skills Against Bridge
Ride your motorcycle up the cable stay of a suspension bridge
C-40 Biggest Surf in 40 Years Hits Washington Coast
Be a big-water surfer extraordinaire
C-117 Fan Encounter of the Worst Kind (stick a weener in a fan)
We knew a guy this happened to. Sort of. We don't like to talk about it.
C-116 Crap on bin Laden
We just can't think of anything horrible enough or painful enough for the dumb ass
C-115 Alien Anal Probe
Hey. It happens. We know lots of people who could benefit from one, who deserve
one, and who probably WANT one. You know some too.....
C-37 Grand Canyon Jump Successful
Jump the Grand Canyon on your dirt bike
C-17 Private Plane Crashes Near Industrial Area
Hanky Panky at 5000 feet
C-113 Breaking Up? Get VACCINATED so it never happens again
Medical science finally announces a new treatment: This drug makes you immune to the opposite sex. Plop plop, fizz fizz, oh what a relief it is.....
C-77 Stock Market Crash
Rewrite the figures as you like, this will scare the daylights out of your investor friends
C-12 Local Woman Sought in Grisly Homicide
Tired of hubby's shenanigans? Kill him, then cast his parts far and wide
C-10 Local Man Gets Slacker Award
For the slacker who needs recognition
C-7 New Toilet Facilities Installed at Local Warehouse
Work for a cheap company? Expose them. Literally.
C-91 Brown Noser's Special
Recognition for the shameless brown-noser in every office
C-5 Genetics Research Advances
You sold your sperm 20 years ago---now it comes back to haunt you
C-42 "Organisms" on Mars Rock are Life---But Not from Mars
Embarrass the living ------ out of your boss by exposing his diseases
C-3 Headache Sufferer Diagnosed
At last, PROOF that your spouse has a screw loose
C-65 Lions and Tigers and Bears, Oh My!
Bears and critters roam your neighborhood
C-61 Bear Finds Way to Downtown
Bears and critters roam your neighborhood (variation)
C-62 Giraffe Finds Way to West Side
Giraffes and critters roam your neighborhood
C-57 It's a Boy!
No fish story here. Catch a record fish and PROVE it
C-51 Bear Finds Way to Downtown Seattle
Bears and critters roam your neighborhood
C-2 Bear Finds Way to Fife
Bears and critters roam your neighborhood (variations)
C-26 Local Woman Cured of Congenital Malformations
Expose your mean sister's sorted past; once a freak, always a freak
C-94 Smallest Male Organ in the World (G Rated)
Smallest penis in the world---someone you know deserves this
C-19 Meteor Demolishes Local Home
Get time off work when you prove to your boss how rotten life has treated you
C-74 Meteor Destroys Your Neighborhood
Scare your neighbors with a doomsday gag
C-93 Crop Circles in a Field Near YOU
Drive your friends crazy by sending them on a wild alien chase
C-81 Mysterious Object Removed in Operation
Prove to your mother-in-law that you have the POWER to send her to Zeta Reticuli
C-82 "Desktop Black Hole" Out of Control
Scare everyone you know with this science-out-of-control documentation
C-76 Organ Harvesters
Rewrite this to feature a certain neighborhood, then send it to your mother-in-law
C-75 FORTEAN Blobs
Gooey white globs of human cells which fall like rain. It's actually true!
C-53 Recent Astronomical Alignments Alter Moon's Orbit
Convince most everyone that time has been altered
C-54 Second Face Discovered on Mars Surface?
After we wrote this they DID discover a second face up there.
Guess we'll have to make it a 3rd
C-11 Unidentified Object Over City
Everyone needs to keep a copy of this lying around.
There's never a UFO when you need one
C-97 Goat Molester
Make your pesky neighbor SHUT THE HELL UP when
you expose him as a goat molester
C-98 Horse Crazy
Your ex-girlfriend TOLD YOU she loved horses. You just didn't know how much
C-100 Old (old) Hookers
Everyone knows an over-the-hill gang of older gals who hang together
C-101 Broken Boner
Your husband needs an excuse for his poor performance
C-102 Over-exposed AGAIN!
Show the family what your brother-in-law REALLY does in his off time
C-103 Viagra Fatality
Viagra should come with a warning label. It does? Then it should be BIGGER
C-105 You Got a Beer Bottle Stuck WHERE?
Just boys being boys. You can blackmail guys with this one
C-99 Head Up Ass
We all know someone whose head is stuck up there. Now tell the world about it
C-44 Largest Penis (ahem) in the World (2000, 2001, 2002 Most Viewed)
Proof you're the man you think you are
C-78 WWII Heidenvolkker Restored
Show your war buddies how you restored Hitler's famed Heidenvolkker
C-71 Quake Flattens Seattle
Scare your friends who live, lived, or aspire to live in Seattle
C-72 Quake Flattens Seattle #2
Scare your friends who live, lived, or aspire to live in Seattle (variation)
C-73 Monorail Crash
Scare anyone who's ever ridden on the Seattle Monorail
C-69 Pacific Bridge Progress Ahead of Schedule
Far too many people believe this without question.
There IS NO BRIDGE TO HAWAII! Get it?
C-67 New Traffic Lights Arrive Ahead of Schedule
A demonstration of how bizarre city life will probably become
C-64 Blimp "Lands" on Monorail
Was originally a promo for a local biz. We'll put your business name in there too
C-56 Crocodile Found in Seattle Sewer
Every sewer in every major city has man-eating crocs in it. Now you can prove it
C-52 Eiffel Tower Clone Finally Completed in Seattle
People have spent literally DAYS looking for the Eiffel Tower in Seattle.
We feel badly about this one. No we don't
C-25 Santa Claus and Four Reindeer Slain!
For those with a little Grinch blood who never liked that trespassing sucker
C-24 Washington's Grand Wizard for Seven Years Goes Public
eBay auctions banned this because it makes fun of the KKK
C-88 "Occupy" the Country of Your Choice!
Originally written for a Finnish client, we almost started a war
C-107 Mystery Rods
Mystery rods are very mysterious. Not really---but you can scare some kids with it
C-108 Birthday Cake Fire
The perfect birthday gag gift for the OLDER set.
Won't work on anyone younger than, say, 40 or 50 years old
C-109 Space Cows on Mars
We know there's life on Mars. We just got tired
of waiting for someone to discover it
C-120 Unexploded Bomb in YOUR Yard
Precision Bombing (aka "The Sky is Falling")