Write Your Own Fake Newspaper
Light 'em Up & Roast 'em (Revenge)
C-77 Stock Market Crash
Crash the stock market at will and in the manner of your choosing
C-118 Terrorist Arrested
Person with suspected terrorist ties gets arrested, then grudgingly released.
C-39 Local Man Arrested Again for Indecent Exposure
Give your brother the credit he deserves. EXPOSE him
C-115 Alien Anal Probe
Hey. It happens. We know lots of people who could benefit from
one, who deserve one, and who probably WANT one. You know some too.....
C-22 Local Man Causes Stir
Pass these out to your husband's fishing buddies (then take his guns away from him)
C-29 Tacoma Street Prostitution "Out of Control" Says Mayor
Show your cousin up for the slut she is---street walker, indeed
(great for family reunions)
C-117 Fan Encounter of the Worst Kind (stick a weener in a fan)
We knew a guy this happened to. Sort of. We don't like to talk about it.
C-80 Naked Men Arrested
Make a statement of personal independence---or just embarrass a friend
C-63 Break in Flasher Case
Don't you know a girl who has trouble keeping her pants on? Let her know you know
C-128 World's Largest Ball of Pubic Hair
Roast your boss in a stinky, disgusting way. Doesn't s/he just beg for it?
C-59 Man Sues to Include Bizarre Event in Olympics
For the man of many talents who wants to
scare off impress the ladies
C-112 Freeway Sign Says Anything You Want
Change the traffic advisory signs to send YOUR SPECIAL message
C-60 Local Man Suffers More Embarrassment than Injury
Guy gets a beer bottle or something stuck up his butt. This was the
result of many requests. Does this crap really happen?
C-44 Man Sues Over World Record (2000, 2001, 2002 Most Viewed)
Well, someone, SOMEWHERE must have the largest penis in the world. Is it you?
C-126 Did Michael Jackson Molest Your Dad?
Haunt any house or structure you choose (scare your cousins)
C-45 4th Sexual Harassment Lawsuit Filed Against Clinton
Have YOU been the victim of a sexual predator? Sure you have
C-122 "Doing Atkins"---a Spoof on the Atkins Diet
"I lost 296 pounds in only 11 days and I feel great!"
C-12 Local Woman Sought in Grisly Homicide
Women tell us their husbands straighten up for awhile
after finding this under their pillow
C-10 Local Man Gets Slacker Award
Recognition for the slacker in every company
C-121 Write Your Own Obituary to See Who Cries
Gruesome and dreary, the Goth's delight, by popular request we offer
proof of your untimely demise. Well, sort of.
C-7 New Toilet Facilities Installed at Local Warehouse
Embarrass your cheap boss or bossette
C-6 Biggest Jackpot in National Powerball Lotto!
Now YOU can win the National Lotto and make your friends GREEN with envy
C-91 Brown Noser's Special
For the brown-noser in every office---tell 'em they're appreciated
C-5 Genetics Research Advances
Come on, meet your Grandson. It's okay. You can hold him
C-17 Private Plane Crashes Near Industrial Area
Dirty dancing at 5000 feet results in crash---couple mortified
C-42 "Organisms" on Mars Rock are Life---But Not from Mars
Your boss's Momma TOLD him to wash his hands after going to the bathroom.
Now look what's happened
C-3 Headache Sufferer Diagnosed
You KNOW your wife/husband/uncle/mother-in-law has a screw loose. Now prove it!
C-26 Local Woman Cured of Congenital Malformations
Cure your sister of snottiness when every locker in school has a copy taped to it
C-94 Smallest Male Organ in the World (G Rated)
When you can't say anything nice......say THIS!
C-108 Birthday Cake Fire
143,000 people per year are burned alive by their birthday cakes
C-110 Killer Deer Kicks Ass
Wild deer turns carnivorous, kicks hunter's ass then runs away