heck is this?
Most people know how an "office pool" works, but for
those who don't, it goes like this:
your co-worker is P.G. (that's '50's talk for pregnant). You have
a "pool" to predict when she'll deliver. Fill in the "data"
slots with the days of the month (or the weeks of her term), and whoever
wants to be part of the pool scribbles their name (in dry-erase felt
pen) under the "names" heading. Each person picks a day
when they think Ol' Jenny'll blow---oops, we mean, give birth.
Generally, everyone chips a dollar (or a dime) into the fund, and
who ever wins, gets the loot. If it's a tie, they split it (or fight
over it and sue each other, whatever).
scribble a crude graph onto a hunk of paper, but it's, well, it's
is printed on dry-erase media, measuring 24 inches wide by 14 inches
high. It's extremely glossy stuff---probably more glossy than glass.
Any old dry-erase pen will work on it, and any drug store has them
in a variety of colors. We've found that most felt pens work as well,
but be careful you don't use one that doesn't wipe off. The dry-erase
pens wipe clean with any tissue.
personalize this pool sheet with a main heading (e.g. "The Bob
Smith Pool", and a sub-heading (e.g. "When Will Bob be Fired?")
can send a photo of your
victim---er, we mean, you
FRIEND or WELL LIKED CO-WORKER. Or you can upload your company logo,
a picture of your dog's butt, a picture of your butt, it doesn't really
matter. If you don't upload anything we'll stick some sort of generic
design there, like a flower or a bug. On the form you can tell us
to place the red circle with a slash through it over the face of your
victim---er, we mean WELL LIKED CO-WORKER. Or not.
title your pool sheet as we did in the example ("The Bob Smith
Pool Sheet; When Will Bob be Fired"). Or, you might ask when
Bob will get a raise, or when Bob might SHOW UP FOR WORK (great for
the office slacker---they'll
usually sometimes get
the message). You might hold a pool to try to predict when Bob will
"get lucky" (in his work, ahem). Or when Judy will finally
get P.G. Or what year cranky old Alex is going to retire. Or how many
months it will be before Irene finally gets nailed and goes to prison
for embezzlement. Or, for that matter, how many months before Irene
school our classrooms had pools for the World Series (the winners
got ice cream).
to make the biggest ass / fool out of themselves at the Christmas
party this year?
to be the first one to get caught BOPPING BETTY. Of course you don't
have to come right out and label your sheet the "BOPPING BETTY
POOL". You can be tricky, and just call it "The Betty Pool".
It'll drive her nuts trying to figure out what you're betting on.
jackass Mr. Beasen down in personnel might finally have a heart attack
and DIE? Sponsor the "Mr. Beason Pool". No one but YOU GUYS
has to know what it's for. You wouldn't call it the "DEATH TO
MR. BEASON POOL". Just call it the "Mr. Beason Pool".
Secretive. Like that.
do you think the scurrilous little squirrels and mentats down in accounting
will drive your company to bankruptcy? List off the years. Could be
sooner than you think, and the winner will be happy to have the hundred
bucks from winning the pool, when your company's paychecks bounce
(by the way, it's customary for the sponsor of the pool to skim 15%
off the top---don't feel bad for doing this.)
Travis Jerkoff get sued for sexual harassment? Next month? Three months
from now? No cheating---
a pool for your Little League team, for a Scouting competition, for
the Presidency of the United States.
before Dianna Dumps Dirty Derrick? Won't be long. She's a smart girl.
bin Laden be caught and castrated? Hussein? Peewee Herman? President
we see the second coming of Elvis?
the DOW be on December 23rd?
times this month will Fran be late for work?
have lots of little schemes and intrigues going on, don't personalize
the sheet at all. Leave the picture area and title areas blank, then
scratch in your own pool titles on the fly. This stuff (dry-erase
media) has a half-life of about a thousand years. It's nearly indestructible.